Guest nonesuch Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 I felt the same way about online. There were times I felt up to the challenge, and times I didn't. In fact, I think it's good to hide your profile from time to time so your pictures don't become just part of the background for those still looking. I wasn't good at dating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 nonesuch -- you summed up how I felt too: not at all good at dating! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Okay, decided to share this video -- I chuckled through the scenarios (because I certainly was guilty): http://www.howtogettheguy.com/blog/scares-great-guys/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love2fish Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 That is spot on Arneal. I always read a woman's profile before the first message and it seemed like more than 1/2 used negative phrasing. I think the same lesson applies to how we live our lives as well. You might say "Don't throw those skivvies on the floor" or you could say "I'd love it if you tossed those in the hamper lovey!" Unless you really prefer the whitey-tighties on the floor. I knew one lady with too many cats. Underwear was as close to a dust rag as her floor ever saw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
First Widow Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 That was hysterical, thanks Arneal! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted April 25, 2017 Author Share Posted April 25, 2017 This actually happened today. I got a phone call from local # that I did not recognize. Gotta love these calls... You go through you phone, delete all those old contacts. Of course one of those, contacts you after you have done that. Who are you? And why are you wishing me Happy New Year? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted April 26, 2017 Author Share Posted April 26, 2017 I was chatting with a fireman who likes to sail, on Bumble last night. Conversation started fine enough. We were talking about what keeps us busy. He says he has lots of kids. I ask how many is lots. I have 3 of my own so I didn't think I'd be phased. He says 5 between the ages of 4 and 13. I asked if he's divorced, he says yes. He mentioned something about his 1st wife. I asked how many wives he's had. He says a few. I asked how long he's been single....3 weeks! But that was from his last Girlfriend. I asked what the problems were.....His short attention span he says. I asked why he was on the site. He said he was bored. I asked him if I was being punked! 😁 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjs1989 Posted April 26, 2017 Share Posted April 26, 2017 Blech. That makes me shudder. At least he was honest. And great comeback on your part!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julester3 Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Joined a website just to see if it's something to pursue and within 10 minutes, over 10, meet me's? Uh, still trying to figure this stuff out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momof2obs Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 I finally got some matches on Bumble and have started messaging the men. Most don't reply back. I'm a big girl and that's fine. But the fun (?) has been with the ones who have replied...the first got insulted that I didn't jump at his immediate offer of going all 50 Shades of Grey on me (really? we just started chatting five seconds ago!) The second guy told me in his first message that he was into extreme fetishes... OK...so is this how it is going to be? What ever happened to meeting for coffee? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted April 27, 2017 Author Share Posted April 27, 2017 Momof2, sadly this is all normal. Keep trying. There are normal guys who will ask to meet for coffee. It just takes longer to find them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julester3 Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 So 24 hours live on a dating site - 60 requests? Crazy! Over 15 text messages on the site. A few intriguing ones but when I was up front that I want to take it slow and start platonic didn't go well... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jgib Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 I found that too. Go slow is no go. I don't even post photos anymore. I mainly lurk and if I see a profile that has some brains behind it I may send a message with a photo. I am in my 50s now so looks are not as important as substance. By this you can understand why I have not had much interest! Lol. I guess I could say I am not sure how ready I am anyways. I am pretty sure if something clicks I would be interested....or maybe just be happy with myself now..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julester3 Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 I'm just seeing if this is something to pursue. I have never online dated before because I never had to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 Has anyone seen the new show on NBC , called first dates ? I decided to watch it last night and it is cute . Actually was interesting to see what they talk about and things maybe they shouldn't lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tybec Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 Yes, as it is Friday night! I think it is interesting, too. And they have a diverse group of couples, not all just barbies and kens in their 20s. They had the elderly couple, the Asia couple, mixed races, and the gay couple. I didn't date many before DH and now I am with NG, my first guy I met Face to face on line, and it has been a year. So, I really don't know how to date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Here's another interesting video (http://www.howtogettheguy.com/blog/win-at-dating/) ... the part about being higher maintenance than everybody else ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted May 13, 2017 Share Posted May 13, 2017 Never leave your iPad out when you have friends over . Woke up this am to quite a few matches from online that I didn't do . Quite funny , maybe they can pick better than I . Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julester3 Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 About 2 weeks into online dating. I have come to the conclusion that people see widow and think I must want hot sex. Some guys have been okay but majority wants some sort of sexual favor or sexy photos. Really? I just got asked by a 28 yo who said he'd be my boy toy and I can use him till I find someone better??? This is crazy stuff I can't make up. Found a decent guy and found out he was still legally married? Ugh! Also got stood up a few times and a guy refused to go out with me cause I wasn't dressed in a way that turned him on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 Hey Julester3, I'll take the 28 yr old for a while!! LOL I'm just joking people Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julester3 Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 He increased his age to get past my age filter. He's spent the last 24 hours promising me he will do anything to please me. Omg man up and take my refusal with some dignity! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 Julester3, hot stuff!! I went to my first meet and greet in over a year. The guy is 10 years older than me but I am trying to be more open. Poor guy was so nervous and I felt he overshared. Now don't get me wrong I really want a relationship that we both feel safe that we can share but doing it within 15 minutes I find weird. We shared our phone numbers and he was texting me a lot during the day. I am not used to that and it feels weird. He wants to go for coffee and go for a drive. Just not feeling that is a right thing to do. Advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julester3 Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 It's funny you mention you are not comfortable. I wouldn't be either. There is comfort knowing you can go to your car and escape if things get weird or don't work. My solution was to install the Uber app on my phone so that I do have an escape plan. Dating is going to make you try things we may not be keen on, I think. Texting and talking with a new round of guys. Still have the married guy talking to me. I just flirt with him. I think he needs an ego boost from what he can't get from his wife. So it's platonic because I keep him that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love2fish Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 I love to give advice Needytoo. My first and most important tip is never follow any of it. No one will ever know even a tiny fraction of what it is that makes you tick. Listen to it and if it truly feels like your own inner voice then it may have merit. If things aren't feeling right about this guy they probably are not. If it's just a question of propriety then suggest an alternative for your next encounter. You are in charge. It sounds to me like he may have been smitten with you. I've been on both sides of the smitten dynamic and over-sharing was one clue. If you feel some attraction then being on the receiving end of smitteness is a great place to be for a host of reasons. But tread lightly. Where smitten goes there go strong feelings. But maybe he's just an over-sharer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jgib Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 Julester3, hot stuff!! I went to my first meet and greet in over a year. The guy is 10 years older than me but I am trying to be more open. Poor guy was so nervous and I felt he overshared. Now don't get me wrong I really want a relationship that we both feel safe that we can share but doing it within 15 minutes I find weird. We shared our phone numbers and he was texting me a lot during the day. I am not used to that and it feels weird. He wants to go for coffee and go for a drive. Just not feeling that is a right thing to do. Advice? Be open and honest right away. If it isn't working or right tell him right away. It will only get tougher later with more resentment. If you need to go slower, just tell him that too. Widows are different then divorcees I think. If he honours that it may be worth investigating, if he ignores it, move on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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