arneal Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Here's a video that I hope will make everyone smile about the online dating/meetup! http://www.howtogettheguy.com/blog/what-he-says-vs-what-he-means/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 There are "winners" on POF but I think those kind of guys are on all the sites. Arneal that video is hilarious. I sure could use a male translator. I thought I would give Tommy Texter another chance. We met again for coffee. Again he was so nervous and couldn't keep eye contact. I asked him some more questions and he really didn't answer any of them well and he didn't ask me one. As far as I can make out the only thing the guy likes to do is drink coffee and drive around in his truck. I know this might surprise everyone but this is not how I want to spend my time. Now I am trying to figure out what I have learned about all of this and the one thing that jumps up at me if I really need to ask more questions before we have a M&G. I am not good at it at doing this but I really need to do it. Help!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 What's he like on the telephone, Needy? Does he talk? Maybe he's people-phobic or public-phobic. Does he initiate text or phone conversations or are you reaching out all the time? If he initiates, ideally one would think there was interest on his part. Maybe asking him straight up what he'd like to do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 He is actually can speak very well on the phone. I think you might be right Arneal that he might have some social phobia. The thing is my husband had it (or he just hating doing things ) and my oldest son has it. If he has it, I am not sure if this is a person I want to have a relationship. Or I am reading way too much into everything. He is 60 and maybe his wife dumped him and he is finding dating difficult. That part I can understand. This week I have been under stress due to a contractor lawsuit and I am feeling that I am having that some trust issues again. A girlfriend pointed that out to me and she said I should tell him this. I don't particularly like oversharing stuff too quickly but maybe I should tell him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 Needy -- it sounds like you'll have to weigh if you want to put time into this situation. Is he someone you'd like to have a deeper connection with? Spend lots of time with? If so, then sure, consider sharing/oversharing. If not, consider how to pull back without damaging what could be a friendship. Plus if he has some wounds because of the ex, how you let him know you aren't interested in more than friendship will be important, especially if he has some sort of social anxiety or worse. As an introvert, the 'dating' part of online dating mortified me ... you mean I have to physically meet this person and talk to them?! LOL! I had to talk myself into it, practice potential conversations and body language so I wouldn't look totally as freaked out as I felt on the inside, and breathe, breathe, breathe. I did a good bit of reading prior to my first meet-up as well. It's not easy ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momof2obs Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 Uggg! Thought I met a decent guy on Bumble. Checked him out before we met and everything he said was as he started it. We went out a few times and really clicked. Last date was Friday night. On Saturday, he texted that he was hopeful that this was the beginning of a great relationship and we started to make plans for this weekend. Today, I ask if I should make arrangements for the weekend (he is well aware of the kid situation) and he says, "nope, I'm good". When I question him he says he is too busy. I ask if he is cutting me off completely and he says yes. WTF? Long story short. He says he found someone else. Really? You couldn't be honest from the get go about that? if this is how dating is these days...I'm done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 So sorry to hear, momof2 That was rotten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trying2breathe Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 momof2obs Sorry to hear :-\ Better to know his character now, rather than later Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julester3 Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 I got a response like that when the guy didn't like what I was wearing. Sucks that you had a fickle guy. I'm not having any luck but then again I closed my online account! Lol! Duh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 So sorry momof2obs, I hope you are doing alright. Last week I was at the top of my stress game because of a contractor that I am suing. The last straw was a text message from him.The message was so bizarre and because if was so strange I didn't feel safe. Called some friends and my lawyer and they calmed me down yesterday. My back has been in so much pain from the stress went and had a massage, still in pain but hopefully it gets better. Talked to my neighbors to keep a look out on my property. Then I called "Tommy" texter and explained the situation. The guy was amazing. Actually felt genuine concern. Once I get my own head on straight I hope we go out again. Guess I was wrong about oversharing too soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momof2obs Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Update...the guy now has changed his story. He says there isn't anyone else and that he just said that so I would leave him alone. Ummmm OK. So I do. What happens? Ten to 6 this morning he texts me. Can't make this stuff up!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjs1989 Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 momof2, Oh my gawd, your scenario sounds like the stories my college daughter tells me about about the frat guys she meets. On and off like light switches. Discouraging that they don't grow up. Little entitled boys whose mommies have coddled them their whole lives. BLECH!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 momof2obs - please just block this jerk on your cell. Believe me - I have done a lot of online dating (no judgement) - there are certain guys out there that just like to mess with you. They are interested when they don't have anyone else and then put you to the bottom of the list when they think they have found someone "better" (which they usually haven't so then they come back around). Im sorry, you deserve a lot better than that. His loss - seriously..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forgottenwife Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 momof2obs - please just block this jerk on your cell. Believe me - I have done a lot of online dating (no judgement) - there are certain guys out there that just like to mess with you. They are interested when they don't have anyone else and then put you to the bottom of the list when they think they have found someone "better" (which they usually haven't so then they come back around). Im sorry, you deserve a lot better than that. His loss - seriously..... I second this - I too did a lot if dating before I met my current sweetheart, men like this I just simply stopped talking to. Didn't answer their texts, didn't respond to any communication at all. Not only do you deserve better, I am certain you can do much better. He's not worth any of your time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Glad to hear, Needy! That is fabulous. Have you considered essential oils for your pain? I was buying my own randomly but my friend started selling them so I have a local connection now frankinsense is great for pain and doterra has a blue concoction that works for me and for my friend who has rheumatoid arthritis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momof2obs Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 momof2obs - please just block this jerk on your cell. Believe me - I have done a lot of online dating (no judgement) - there are certain guys out there that just like to mess with you. They are interested when they don't have anyone else and then put you to the bottom of the list when they think they have found someone "better" (which they usually haven't so then they come back around). Im sorry, you deserve a lot better than that. His loss - seriously..... I second this - I too did a lot if dating before I met my current sweetheart, men like this I just simply stopped talking to. Didn't answer their texts, didn't respond to any communication at all. Not only do you deserve better, I am certain you can do much better. He's not worth any of your time. Thanks for the input. I have been ignoring him. I know I deserve better and will not settle for less!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Good for you momof2, but you might want to block his number as well. Trust me some of these messages from guys can be stressful ex. my crazy contractor. Arneal my son bought me a diffusor for Mother's Day. I have been using a lot of lavender and peppermint. I don't have any frankincense but I think that is a great idea. I have frankincense wax cubes for those warmer thingamingers. Have you tried the oil on your skin? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Needy -- yes, but with a carrier oil like coconut or hemp (baby oil in a pinch when the pennies are low lol). I have a few stress mixtures and plan to make my own as I learn more. Love my oils! And the blue stuff from doterra has done wonders for my ankle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 On match..... guy checks my profile , sends me an email says your profile is awesome , would love to chat . Tell me three of your favorite shows right now. I answer . He reads my messsage , rechecks my profile and doesn't answer . It's gotten so absurd , it's funny anymore . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 Oh my, Momto ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 Most of you know that I haven't ventured into online dating, but I have been dating. I've decided to take another break. I'm just tired of feeling like the effort isn't equal. I feel like I give in sometimes just for the company, which obviously isn't fulfilling me. It's frustrating me instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julester3 Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 I feel exactly the same way. I feel like I am doing all the work. I initiate the conversations, I suggest things to do and places to go, and I seem to make the plans. Most of the time they don't even show up! It's far from effortless. It's taking too much of my limited energy and I too am frustrated. This dating experiment has put me in a "guys my age suck" mindset. I have one last guy to give a fair shake leftover from the online site I already left but he is begging for a meet. My heart is no longer in it and I just don't care anymore frankly. Then I'm taking a break from this dating thing - for a good long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted May 30, 2017 Share Posted May 30, 2017 So sorry Virgo and Julester. If you want to date, don't give up. Check the various sites, maybe adjust what you list in your 'looking for' section -- sometimes men (and probably women as well) don't put their best foot forward in the profile creation department. I had a horrid experience with the first person I was chatting up online (he was a fake and a troll) and the ones who expressed interest thereafter were weird (couldn't spell or used text-speak exclusively ... one guy was at the high end of my 'looking for' age range and only used text-speak. Yuck!), didn't read my profile with any depth, or were only interested in hooking up for sex (even though my profile clearly indicated I was looking or a long-term relationship and not hook ups). I went to another site and the first guy I encountered there fell into the hook-up category but I didn't give up and met a great guy. That said, there's nothing wrong with taking a break. Just be prepared for weirdness when you step back in the ring. You'll be wiser and can cut off the games more quickly All the best! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trying2breathe Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 Sorry to hear of the struggles Julester & Virgo - I've had my share of weirdos. There ARE good guys out there, it's a process to weed out and find them, unfortunately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julester3 Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 Yeah I think that's why I want to try speed dating where they are already there and maybe even try a matchmaking service to filter through for me. I sort of feel that if a guy is paying for the service he'll be less likely to blow you off because he's invested in it versus a free website. Does that make any sense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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