Boyfriends son

[Momtojandj]

Bf ( hate that term by the way ) and I were out this morning with his 6 year , running errands etc . The lady in the store was talking to us and refered to me as his mom. I quickly said, not mom just friend . Normally if someone says something, and assumes my niece , my sons friends are my children , I let it go.. Who cares to correct them. But this was a new one for me . Asked bf after , if his son heard it and he said don't worry about , it's fine. Anyone have this happen ?

[maddalena]

forgive me, i have done things like that too, it leaps out of the mouth before you have a chance to think.

but the other thing you addressed;

I hate the term "boyfriend" too. for crying out loud, white hair and wrinkles, he's no boy. but man friend? LOVER? Partner? i don't like any of those either.

 

 

[Momtojandj]

Maddalena... I usually say friend, which my kids say .. You mean boyfriend . Argh .. Has to be a better term lol

[mom66]

You could just say sex slave....jk of course

[Trying]

There has to be a better word than boyfriend for grown men.  I refer to him as "the guy I'm seeing" but you can't use that in an introduction. "Lover" cracks me up, does anyone say that??

 

As far as his son, I would've worried about his reaction too.  No advice what to say in that situation but I think what you said is fine.  I think keeping a light hearted tone in front of the child would help keep it from becoming too awkward.

[maddalena]

between us, we call each other our "heart side"

[Portside]

Anyone have this happen ?

 

Heck yeah - all the time - and the kids involved were teenagers. It was always our little inside joke and we'd just smile at each other.

 

I never corrected any of the folks that mistakenly assumed some relationship that wasn't there. It would have been too difficult to accurately describe the relationship and honestly, it wasn't anyone's business anyway.

 

Mike

 

 

[Guest Bear1956]

These days most would  assume I am the grandfather, I think.  :

[lcoxwell]

There has to be a better word than boyfriend for grown men.

 

My Guy and I have commented on this same thing, several times.  We think the terms boyfriend/girlfriend sound too much like something teenagers would say.  I started calling him my New Guy, after seeing others use it on the old board.  It just sounded more mature than boyfriend, though after ten months of dating, it feels weird to continue to call him the New Guy.  When it is just the two of us, we simply call each other love, or my love.

 

You could just say sex slave....jk of course

 

^^^ Ha! Ha! That's hysterical! 

[Guest nonesuch]

Sort of OT, but one of the reasons my consort didn't introduce me as his girlfriend is because he thinks it sounds silly, at 60-something, to be talking about a girlfriend.

 

I use "consort."  Gender neutral, old-fashioned, "a person with whom one shares a common lot in life."

 

I wrote this in at the optometrist's office, with the explanation, "No one over 25 should be called a boyfriend." I heard a giggle from the other side of the partition.  The clerk poked her head around and said, "I'm going to start using this, too."

[fairlanegirl]

Happily got a 51-year-old boyfriend here! In some situations I use partner. 'Partner' sounds a bit po-faced sometimes though, and here generally implies cohabitation, which is not the case with us.

 

Consort, hmmm, does  make me think of the Duke of Edinburgh, but I like it. Might start using that, thanks!

[Lisa]

When I was dating I referred to him as man friend . Not gender neutral but more fitting someone my age.

[Mizpah]

I hate boyfriend too.  I'm tempted to use partner, but it sounds so sterile.  It's just awkward all around, the nomenclature, and all the words are stupid, except lover, which hints at inappropriate things, hahaha. 

 

Anyway, my boyfriend has a 4-year-old son, and when he's badly behaved at the beach or something, I've heard women saying something like, "Well, look at the mother, she's just sitting there letting him _____, she's doing NOTHING!  No wonder."  I'm always torn between wanting to turn around and tell them he's not mine, it's not my fault, what am I supposed to do?, on the one hand, and on the other tell them to f*** off.  Also, his mom last year bought me flowers for Mother's Day because, she said, I'm his "other mother."  I'm not.  I totally disagree with her outlook on it.  It's strange.  There's a lot to navigate in being with someone with a kid/kids. 

[downinahole]

These days most would  assume I am the grandfather, I think.  :

 

I'm sure some people would assume the same about me.

[Guest look2thesky]

Yes it's my kid. And I'm her man friend. And we are like the Brady bunch. Lolol,

Is it my turn for the questions now ? Where's the beer ? : /

[Guest TooSoon]

Whatever you do, do not use "significant other" at customs when trying to enter the UK.  I found myself in a protracted conversation with a very sarcastic customs agent.  He asked me the address where I was gonig to be staying and I said, "With my significant other.  I don't know the address.  He's outside waiting to pick me up."  and then felt the need to get into a long discourse over how significant could he be if I didn't know his address.  Oops.

 

Lately I've just been sticking with his first name.  Others can label it however they want to. 

 

My 8 year old loves to say "My Mommy has a booooooooooyyyyyyyyyyfriend!"  Often to complete strangers.  Nice.

[Guest nonesuch]

Someone who works in the health care industry told me this.

 

It's now quite common for the health care worker to look at the person who is accompanying the patient, and say,

.

.

.

"And you're...family?"

[Melbar]

My daughter asked me if my BF and I were "dating... or, dating-dating," meaning is it serious.  So he and I joke about introducing each other as the man/woman we're DATING-dating.  I agree though, BF/GF sounds sooo young, especially after losing a husband of 18 years.

 

As for someone mistaking you as the mom, only go along with it if the child is being exceptionally good.