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kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?


MissingJoan
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Best sex I ever had was with my first husband.  We went out throughout high school and got married.  Unfortunately, the marriage ended after 10 months, we only spoke once since our separation. 

 

He has contacted me through Facebook and lets just say.......hot sex memories are filling my brain.

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Guest oneoftwo

I miss all of it. The quiet winks across a room, the gentle slip of a hand up a shirt in the kitchen, the fact that we told each other that EVERYTHING that happened each day was fore play.

 

It's hard not having that anymore

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As much as I disliked the first husband and as much as I loved my second husband, sex was nothing like it is now with NG. I am grateful to have experienced good stuff, finally. I am expecting that we will be involved for a good long time.

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I'm needing that knowing glance across a room...a simple word...the all day suggestive foreplay over text or phone...the buildup...the anticipation...

 

Not to mention what comes after all that buildup...

 

Getting my clothes ripped off would help too!

 

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The excitement of the phone call.  The breathless acceptance of a dinner invitation.

Taking extra time in getting ready to go out.....

Surprised that he MADE dinner!  And that grin at the door when he opens it.....

And his cologne.......  ahhhh..

candles burning.... feeding each other across the table.... making a point of licking my lips seductively....

kissing across the table... suddenly not feeling hungry for food at all.... 

 

Yeah... that's what I need.....  sigh.....

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Waking up everyday next to someone you trust with your life.  The human touch, the security.  My DH said he could never sleep well when I was away.  He hugged me like a teddy bear and insisted on a queen bed as a king bed was too large; he couldn't find me  ;).  Never realized how much I took that for granted all those 21 years. 

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Anything really. I've become a born again virgin. But I'm scared now that the psychological wall that I've been building will prevent any closeness whatsoever.

 

I don't know if this helps, but I thought the very same thing (and there are plenty of people on this board who I think can attest to the walls that I put up). I really didn't think I was capable of the relationship that I now have, but it happened. :)

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Guest TooSoon

Anything really. I've become a born again virgin. But I'm scared now that the psychological wall that I've been building will prevent any closeness whatsoever.

 

I don't know if this helps, but I thought the very same thing (and there are plenty of people on this board who I think can attest to the walls that I put up). I really didn't think I was capable of the relationship that I now have, but it happened. :)

 

Ditto.  I, too, was once where MrsDan was.  The posts no longer exist but I know I posted multiple manifestos about how I would never, ever be in a relationship ever again.  But, happily, I was wrong.  Sending support. 

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Thanks for the support ladies! Early on I had a steamy affair with a much younger man. I went through the skin hunger and I wanted to pounce on every hot male in every store. Now, I've realized that I'm not as desirable as I once was. I had boyfriends or serious relationships from 15 to being widowed at 36. The experience has aged me even though I get at least one smile from a guy per day. Widowhood has destroyed my self esteem. When my husband went skiing and never came home it was like the ultimate abandonment. It's not rational but who would want me and my child? If there is someone, I really fear great loss like no other. I'm doomed!

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Iloveyoualways, 

 

I read your post and it resonated.  I felt ultimately abandoned and unworthy.  I accepted I would not find another love now in my 40s.  And I had an 8 yr. old. Having a kid in my mid 30s after yrs. of infertility, and bye bye bikini days.  Since I dated DH since high school, he had me at what I thought was my best. 

 

I started gaining weight and dressed dowdy.  I quit working out, something I loved and did for yrs.  Then I decided I didn't want to be alone.  Long story, but I am the least happy physically with me, but I am the best human I have ever been.  And my NG loves this, all of it.  I want to work out again, now, but goals are different.  Health, strength, feeling good, not a certain number or size.  And my NG tells me I am beautiful! 

 

Hang in there.  Winter may be here but spring will arrive.

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Tybec, 'health, strength, and feeling good'. Yes indeed! Hell with the dictates of society!

  Iloveyoualways, you are not doomed. You're still getting the smiles. It is just a matter of time between now and later when you get the mental and emotional connection you will both need. I had some 'rush' in my system too. Now that its gone I can see clearly (accidental paraphrase, but maybe relevant) and look at things for what they are. Things change. We all know that all too well. Time and chance. . . . . Keep going!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Well, apparently I am not totally equipped with the tools to help with SOME of the things I am needing. 😁

 

It seems a friend has taken it upon herself to priority mail me some things for my birthday....It will be quite entertaining to see what arrives! 😎

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Mom to kam ...That's funny

 

I apparently am braver in the online shopping mode. .....sometime in November I had  a glass of wine and went online shopping....The order took a couple of weeks and I kinda forgot about it. My son picked up the mail /package. and said what's this?

 

Luckily it was close enough to christmas that I told him it was a something I had ordered for him for christmas and that he wasn't to open it

 

 

...... I spent a couple of shopping trips trying to find a gift for him that would have come in a similar size box!!

 

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