anniegirl Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 I was cleaning the fridge this morning and it occurred to me that prior to widowhood, nothing ever rotted in my fridge. Food did not overstay by weeks (or months) and that once something clearly was never going to be eaten - it got tossed. Husband is as guilty as I am. I am attempting to correct this within the last year or so, but I still occasionally find myself without a single tupperware container in the drawer because they are all in the fridge in various states of science experiment. And this issue also applies (probably more persistently) to the laundry basket. When it was just child and me (and this started pre-widowhood because LH was in a care centre for the last year-ish of his life), dirty laundry was the stuff on the floor or in the laundry room. If it was in the basket, it was clean. And the stuff in the basket eventually found itself staying there until I either wore it or I needed the basket. I still find folding laundry to be the absolute last chore on my list. Husband will even fold laundry before I see the need to do it. So, what habits did widowhood instill in you that continues to dog you years after the fact? Just curious. (And hoping that I am not the only one.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marjoe Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 Let's see....hmmm. Phone phobia, big time. Technology - I mean, I've installed Roku, a new tv, update our business web site, Quickbooks - yet I still feel like all my electronics are actually sentient beings out to get me. Wow...I really sound weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissingSquish Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 For me, it's flaking out of plans. I have been crappy about over-booking, double-booking or just losing the desire to keep plans. I give myself an out if I truly don't want to go somewhere, but I don't think its a bad thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 Opening bills and mail. It took more than 5 years but I am paying my utilities electronically every month now. Much less stress than worrying about being turned off most of the time. Haven't really tackled the rest but that's big. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 We hardly eat dinner all of us as a family and when we do we sit at the counter on stools instead of at the table. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Oh no I think I have every bad habit everyone has described already and I still can add to it except I don't have phone phobia I have phone call avoidance. I still have a problem with procrastination. It is much better than it use to be, the worse procrastination is when it comes to chores that my husband always insistent he wanted to do. Is this the way we are always going to be now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anniegirl Posted April 17, 2015 Author Share Posted April 17, 2015 Is this the way we are always going to be now? I don't know. They are habits and any habit can be broken and new patterns established but that takes time, willingness and effort. I am tackling the fridge thing because it's making me crazy but the laundry thing only makes my husband and daughter crazy - and not enough to compel either one to fold the clothes regularly either. When a habit gets to the point where it's really making you unhappy, I think that's when we do something and not before. I developed a multitude of bad habits as a caregiver and a widow that I have largely given up. Dinner being a haphazard thing was one of them but now, we eat an evening meal together at the table quite religiously because I felt it was important enough to reestablish that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swilson Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Clutter, everywhere, it's shameful. I have closets that Fibber McGee wouldn't even try to open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 Crazy amounts of Nicorette gum. About 3 times more than I chewed pre widowhood. Like I put 2 pieces in my mouth at a time now. But I haven't picked back up smoking so I don't care. But it's getting expensive. No desire to try to wean myself off. It's one of my few vices I have left and I enjoy it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieh21 Posted April 17, 2015 Share Posted April 17, 2015 I am now chronically late. I was the most punctual person in the world, but when widowhood and dealing with two small children hit, I started letting that slip and I haven't been able to redress it yet. I developed a habit late in my DH's life (I think it still counts!), the last week of his life, I wasn't a widow, but it was very much right before (!) He was in the hospital and constantly texting and emailing me. I was, up until that week, the person you could never reach because I never checked my phone and half the time didn't know where it was. That week converted me to iPhone addict status, constantly checking and responding even when I am up at 2AM to go to the washroom. And I haven't been able to get rid of that habit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Ooohh....I have a number of them, comes from living "alone". Eating in front of the TV Falling asleep in front of the TV Bedroom is a complete mess I now leave a lot of crap - books clothes etc on my husband's side of the bed while I sleep on "my side" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 That was me Captain's Wife. Most of it still is . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carey Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 My thing is making plans and canceling. Or saying I'll go somewhere and don't. It's particularly bad with my family for some reason, but friends too. It's been 17 months and I'm still a chronic no show-er. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 This one is easy. For me to list.....all of the above and more. Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SusieQ Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 Talking to myself out loud. I've done it for so long at home I find myself doing it in public places without realizing until I get the "stares". Frequently even answering myself. I no longer care either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest marian1953 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 oh gawd, where to start! I wake up feeling guilty about food in the fridge. i need to clean it out today and will make soup out of older veggies. Don't get me started on the laundry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candace Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I used to be almost fanatically organized, I detested clutter. Now, its everywhere; missed paying my cable and cell phone bills last month, cleaning has hit an all time low, and eating is more like a chore. I think the chaos just mirrors my own inner feelings; still hovering in limbo after 3 years, still dealing with widow brain. I actually not only talk to myself but to the cats and dogs "WHAT ARE YOU BARKING AT?" as if they will answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest marian1953 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Candace, I am so happy to see you here! Yes, I despised clutter, too. Note the past tense. It was like some things went to hell in a hand-basket- some got better, others I seem to take a perverse pride in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I truley just don't care anymore. I ask myself why. I know the answer. Ugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sphoc Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Chinese take-away. I really need to cook more. Of course, it would help if I could get my kitchen unpacked, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest marian1953 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Well, I did make soup yesterday and used up a lot of older veggies. It turned out delicious. Now to start on the freezer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tableforone Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 So many bad habits... I was always so organized and neat. My house sparkled and all my 'papers' were paid, filed... My house is much less clean and my old organization is gone. In fact I am sitting here procrastinating the giant pile of paperwork I need to organize. I moved it out of my office thinking that if it was all over the kitchen table I might have to do something about it. The grossest habit I developed is snacking in bed. How disgusting???!!! Until my husband died, I had never eaten a morsel of food in a bedroom in my life. Last week I was lying on my bed eating m+ms...guess I missed a couple. They became smushed chocolate smudges. I just shrugged my shoulders when new husband asked what it was. Thankfully he tolerates this gross habit. At 7 and a half years, I think I may never be able to get organized again. The bed eating? I really should stop that though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATJ Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I don't understand what's wrong with You ladies! ;D I'm Purr - Fect! How can I count the ways? Often I wonder WHO that person is that is hiding in my body, and I just feel like saying "UGGHH"!! In solidarity! Meow!! ATJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donswife Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 -Eating nothing but take out or chicken tenders , for some reason I am eating like a 15 year old stoner not a vegtable in site -staying in my old bedroom , we had just finished our new bedroom before he died and it has a sad looking futon in it right now Just cant seem to make the move ...makes it more real -throwing out tons of good food that I intended to eat or was given Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieh21 Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 Tableforone: The bed eating? I really should stop that though. Mileage varies, I find it particularly comforting to eat in bed. Think of breakfast in bed, or being a child with a cold and a parent bringing soup. You do have to watch for crumbs. And evidently, chocolate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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