momtokam Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 She was an incredible fighter and that vicious cancer got her. She was diagnosed 5 1/2 years ago with lung cancer which had spread to the brain. She never smoked. She was given 6 months back then. She made it 5 years longer than they told her. She was 6 months younger than me. She had 4 kids. She was an inspiration and never gave up. The cancer was always around but somehow, somewhat controlled. She had many complications and lately was in a lot of pain. She actually died from a massive heart attack last night. She lived 2 1/2 hours away and I had not seen her for a few months. Last night she was on my mind a lot. Her husband called me early this morning to tell me she died late last night. She had the biggest heart and gave amazing hugs. I'm so incredibly sad. Somehow I thought she would not lose the war, after winning so many battles. My husband died in an accident, my dad from a heart attack. I don't have a lot of experience with death from a prolonged illness. I always believed she would make it, how naive of me. I know I'm rambling but....... I feel very disillusioned with life right now. What the heck is it all about? Why do these things happen? I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I feel like a maid/chef/chauffeur for my kids and that's about it. One day, I'll be dead too. Gone. What's the point? I just don't understand. I was already getting hit again with the grief monster lately and this just has done me in today. I'm sorry I've rambled and probably not making a lot of sense right now. I just needed to get it out. Not sure anyone will really understand though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 (((((((HUMONGOUS HUGS))))))))) I am so, so sorry. I'm incredibly disillusioned with life right now too, so I'm not a great source of inspiration or anything, but I'm here to listen if you need to talk. For your brave friend, peace be the journey. more hugs, Jen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted April 25, 2015 Author Share Posted April 25, 2015 Thanks Jen...(((hugs))) back for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Momtokam, sending you my biggest hug and all of my empathy. It seems that since Scott died death is all around me. So many young, vibrant people taken in the prime of life. I don't have the answers either but I suppose i try (with the emphasis on try) to live by the "be here now" philosophy because as we all too well know, this is the only moment we know we've got. It doesnt take any of the hurt of loss away, though, I know. I will be thinking of you. XO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Hugs from here, too. Somehow, even when we know that death is inevitable, we still hold onto hope. It is how we figure out how to live before they die. And no matter how well prepared you might be for them to die, there just isn't anything that can prepare you for them to be dead. I'm sorry for your loss, and for that of her husband, children and other family, too. Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted April 25, 2015 Author Share Posted April 25, 2015 Thank you TooSoon. (((Hugs))) back for you. I've been trying the here and now too. .....sigh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted April 25, 2015 Author Share Posted April 25, 2015 Thank you Maureen and (((hugs))) back for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmg19 Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 I'm so sorry. It is painful to lose a friend. Relish the memories of this friendship. Since losing a dear friend several years ago, I've become a better friend to those in my life now. Friends are the icing on the cake in the realm of relationships. Sending prayers and hugs to comfort you and all those who are grieving this lost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATJ Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 May her Light keep shining in the hearts of those who love her! Peace to you (((momtokam))) and her family! With great sadness, ATJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lmsmdm Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 ((((Hugs))))). I lost my K-k-k-atie about 1-1/2 years before my Big Guy, lung as well. She made it 4 years. It's been said before, but FUCK CANCER!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissingSquish Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Huge hugs being sent your way. I'm so sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I am so sorry for the heartbreaking loss of your friend. This world is really hard to understand a lot of the time. Sending you tight hugs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baylee627 Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Exquisitely sorry for the untimely loss of your beloved friend. I have a friend who is battling metastatic breast cancer for three years. Nervous I will l lose her soon. Sometimes it feels like there's such unimaginable tragedy around every corner. Hard to accept. And endure. Hugs and hand pats. I feel awful for you. Baylee Edit reason: damn autocorrect! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I'm so sorry for your loss. ((hugs)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted April 26, 2015 Author Share Posted April 26, 2015 Thank you so much everyone..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patriciad Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I am so sorry for your loss. ((((Hugs)))) Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rifatheroffour Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I'm so sorry you lost your friend. Her story strikes incredibly close to home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIonlycould Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 MTK I am so saddened for you.....there is nothing I can really say but send ((((((HUGS))))) It is all very sad and makes no sense..... I feel very disillusioned with life right now. What the heck is it all about? Why do these things happen? I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I feel like a maid/chef/chauffeur for my kids and that's about it. One day, I'll be dead too. Gone. What's the point? I just don't understand. I am familiar with this feeling all too well since DH died (and the subsequent deaths that followed). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fleur Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 You haven't rambled, you have opened up and exposed a bit of you. I am sorry that you have lost another person you held so dear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted April 26, 2015 Author Share Posted April 26, 2015 Thank you. Hugs to everyone back. I'm just having a very hard time with everything right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 (((momtokam))) Sending good thoughts your way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HvnBound Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 So sorry for your loss and for your dear friend's family's loss as well (((MTK))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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