BrokenHeart2

Jealous of the Angels....

He is a very kind soul and sounds like he is trying to be accommodating. I say make it about you and him. Don't forget to thank him for his kindness and understanding . Sounds like you have a keeper Girl!! Best wishes to both and all of you!! Hugs

I haven't remarried but why would he be mentioned in your union with your man. This is about you and him. You could both talk to your kids about Tim before the ceremony and acknowledge him then. Your fiance is a very kind understanding man but this is about you and him and your union in life. Just my opinion. Congrats Trying!!

Hugs.

Bromans, AlisonF, I have been right where you both are and I'm sure many here can say the same thing. I completely understand how you both feel as I have felt the very same way. For me it was very important to work through my grief as opposed to trying to go around it. It took a heck of a lot longer than I ever thought it would but we all do it in our own way and timeframe. I too feel like I am remaking myself since I don't hold many interests that I had before DH died. Early out I was so confused, lost and empty. Please be gentle with yourselves and take the time you need to work through this. It may happen faster than you think or slower than you want. Hugs.

As much as I mention how I'm changing and working through to get on with my life, there are times like now when I wake in the middle of the night and I miss him so much it still hurts. It's not as intense as it used to be but its still there.

Thanks Adley, you touched on something for me. As I said in my previous post I feel a bit of the old me is coming through and I do miss that. Your statement " I can feel my old self under the surface, but I don't really want to be that person anymore." Yes, there are some things that I miss but I too don't or maybe more like can't be that old me. It's a work in progress I guess so I'll just have to see where it takes me. I'm also getting an itch to travel. Maureen and Adley has inspired me on that one. I'm thinking of packing a bag and just going where my car takes me. Any bagos coming up in the northern US or west Canada? You see wids, it's amazing when you start a post or contribute your thoughts/feelings, you just never know how its going to affect someone. It's not always going to be the sunshine stuff but the hard heartwrenching stuff too (that we all know only too well) is an important contribution! Hugs

Yes Jess I too feel like I am developing into the 3rd person and still trying to figure it all out. It's like a work in progress that is interesting and weird at the same time. At times I feel like a bit of the old me is coming through (I kind of missed that old me for a few years) and at the same time discovering I'm changing but in a good way, which I do like very much. Such a lovely thought provoking topic! Thanks!

Wow Mr. C that is a beautifully crushing song. There was so much truth in all the little things in this song. I miss the look, the one I felt the safest with. I too miss the colors it all seems so grey for me now And I too Miss My Friend.

Ok OOT. Just tell me when and where, I'm down for that wonderful sounding meal!! I hear you. Now it just feels like having food doesn't it.

I too miss cooking and having real meals!!

I don't buy the prepared meals but I do make things like stew, soups, casseroles etc and put them into 1 serving glass containers to freeze. Makes it so much easier especially when I don't feel like cooking. My problem is I always make too much. lol

Me too. I've never thrown out so much food in my life and I hate doing it.

Oh NT, I'm happy for you!!

Marjoe and TS, whatever it says about you I guess you can count me in too. Hahaha

Yes sometimes the anxiety leading up to the day can be worse than the actual day. I remember it being a really tough one for me too. Be gentle with yourself right now KK and don't put any additional pressure on yourself. Hugs to you.

Sorry to hear SW. I hope things start to turn around for you soon!! Hugs

Oh my Jennica, you would not believe how many times I have written those exact words "sometimes I feel like I have widow stamped on my forehead" early out. I know exactly how you feel. This place is pretty amazing isn't it. We are/were there and we get it! Hugs

Happy trails Adley! I hope you and your kids have wonderful adventures along the way!

Hi Jennica, I'm at just over 4 yrs and yes I do think of him every day but it is very very different than at 11 months I can assure you. As we know, we all grieve differently but please try not to be overwhelmed that it will still be the same as it is now for you. I can't guarantee it but just let you know how it is for me now. I'm kind of thinking that is what Bunny was getting at too. "He's just...there." Yes, this but it's very different. Hugs

Awe Barn, sorry its a bummer. Good luck with the rest Good advise from FLG! Hugs

There's a hell of a lot of pain in them there words Michael. " I decided that, like it or fuck it, the world was indeed going to get an angry, crazy old codger spewing bullshit about how the world and everyone in it was the source of endless despair after all." I would hardly call it bullshit but that is your prerogative. You may just never know who you might help get through a similar hell that you are going through by writing this book. I hope it somehow helps you, even if it's just a smidgen, sort through all of what's happened. I wish I could just give you a hug. This virtual hug will have to do.

I don't have the answer Bunny but I've wondered the same things. I'm in a similar headspace as you too. I too never thought I'd heal as well. For that I am thankful! Hugs

So eloquently said Maureen!! Thank you!

Wow Maureen. That is huge and such a state of flux!! I'm sorry to hear it hasn't fallen into place yet but I'm sure it will in good time. Doesn't sound to me like that TV series is getting stale, can't wait for the next episode to air. But in all seriousness, you must feel so out of sorts being in limbo and I hope your path is clear for you soon. You are one brave lady taking all this on! Good on you! I will say I don't think I would have the nerve to do it and you inspire me!! Safe travels dear Lady!! Hugs.