DansSoulmate

Hi, if you are interested, I just wanted to share the meaning of the raccoon (again, my apologies to those who may not believe): http://www.universeofsymbolism.com/symbolic-meaning-of-raccoon.html. it's be fearless and go after what you really want.

I'm so glad you started this thread because it is a regular occurrence for me (too many to share) so I just enjoy the moment and laugh alot. Last week it was a big (ridiculously big) male wild turkey in my back yard staring at my window showing all his feathers again and again..nothing else around. Years ago we had a funny incident with a big male turkey so I have no doubt he had something to do with it. Early on it was a large buck hanging out completely by himself first standing in front of a target Dan had set up in the backyard staring at me for a very long period of time. He hung out near the house until I got the alarm system, always by himself and during the day particularly when friends would come over. And, then at least once a red fox ran through my yard during the day which again is highly unusual and something we saw when we vacationed in July. Red cardinals and crows (believed to be closest to the afterlife) can typically be found whereever I go, particularly if it was a challenging day. If you believe in "spriit animals" then each of these represent something or are a reminder, for example..stay strong, mischief, and count your blessings. Also, I've had lots of blinking lights outside my house (rope light on the deck and stick lights on the deck) and on my route home, as well as wacky, unexplainable activity with electronics for the first several months for both me and my daughter. His sister has also had the flashing lights in her office. But the funniest thing was her trying to interpret a series of numbers that she kept encountering...it was the month and day of my birthday. For some it's creepy or something worse but to me I can take great comfort in all of these signs and his awful sense of humor . Here's some information on signs: http://www.amandalinettemeder.com/blog/2014/1/27/10-signs-from-your-deceased-loved-ones

Sam Smith with John Legend, Lay Me Down: Yes, I do, I believe That one day I will be Where I was right there Right next to you And it's hard The days just seems so dark The moon, the stars Are nothing without you Your touch, your skin Where do I begin? No words can explain The way I'm missing you Deny this emptiness This hole that I'm inside These tears They tell their own story

I'll send you a private message of everything I've done (I live in the country in the woods), but if you don't have a security system, I would recommend looking into getting one.

I found a site where lots of blogs by widowed people are being collected and thought I would share: http://freshwidow.blogspot.com/p/blogroll.html As the author states, good luck in finding your "widowhood twin".

This is really wonderful! I am so envious and look forward to hearing about your travels! I have a list but at this point I find I simply don't have the confidence to make the plans, particularly faced with the prospect of travelling alone. And I love that you are still you, it gives me hope I'm still in there somewhere

Hi, I'm in North Carolina and would be interested in getting together.

His name was Dan..Danny..Butch..Dad and, in August, would have been known as Grandpa. A sweet and loving soul who was known for his smile, incredibly wide circle of friends, amazing ability to fix anything and a great attitude about living life to its fullest. He loved me so much he married me twice and I struggle each and every day to wrap my mind around the fact that I will never see/touch him or share memories with him again. He was my soulmate, life partner and absolute best friend forever.

I shared this blog on the advice to newly widowed thread but will include it here as well. It was particularly helpful to me as I was trying to come to terms with Dan's cause of death, but her words are beautiful and the advice very helpful. http://www.cragman.com/index.html

:'(

I really hate that today would have been another wedding anniversary to celebrate complete with more conversation around how much fun we've had and what we had to look forward to in the future. Instead I sit here typing this with tears streaming down my face and incredible sadness. :'(

I'm planning to have teddy bears made: http://www.teddyangels.com/about.html

Well said Maureen and, I've read that in-laws may blame the spouse for the death. In my case, they quickly let me know that was their position but I know I did my very best to ensure we were living a healthy lifestyle. Unfortunately genetics make up a much larger part of the equation with heart disease. I'd probably try harder with them if my kids were younger but they are old enough to keep up that connection with his family if they want. For me, it just adds unnecessary stress.

Absolutely and I believe it was a combination of extreme stress and poor nutrition in those earlier months. I remember coloring my hair a few months in and actually seeing my scalp because my hair was so thin! But, with a new hair cut, eating better, exercising more and stress management I seem to back to normal.

I would likely shock some by the actions I have taken rather early on but this is such a highly personal decision and, in my opinion, your approach too should be in keeping with your own comfort level. I should also add that my kids are older so my situation is likely quite a bit different than others. I have always been very social so several months after I did activities with meetup groups just like we did before he passed. For me, it was a way to continue to bring some joy to my life and to also continue to expand my circle of friends. Our friends also allowed me to tag along when they went out but some put a little too much pressure on me to "get out there". Online dating, though, in my opinion, can be a little tricky but if approached with the right expectations and lots of caution I also think it's another mechanism to expand your circle of friends (or more). And, I completely agree that finding the right person is key in not adding even more stress to your life than is already there.

1. Easter Sunrise Service at the beach! Words can't express how beautiful! 2. Dancing on Saturday night! 3. Sitting on the balcony of the hotel with sunshine on my face and the waves hitting the shore!

Dan was cremated and his wish was for his ashes to be spread on the property here so there he sits next to the patio we built in August at the bottom of the stairs to the back deck. During his memorial the girls and i spread some of his ashes in a "V" (for V-Twin) my brother carved out in the soil, we covered him up and then friends placed river rocks over the spot. A blooming azalea sits in front of the "V" and I'll be planting more flowers this spring. So, I guess I visit every day

This site may answer the questions you have about the cremation process - it states "with the exclusion of minuscule and microscopic particles, which are impossible to remove from the cremation chamber and processing machine, all of the cremated remains are returned to the family": http://www.cremationinfo.com/cremationinfo/Questions.htm I was actually surprised at how much I received but some of his ashes have already been spread on our property and now he's going to start travelling with me to places on his bucket list. With the help of his best friend, in May he will be on his motorcycle riding through "Tail of the Dragon" in North Carolina.

In my case, I wouldn't say I have been rejected as much as experiencing a highly predictable progression of things with his family. This is going to sound harsh but I actually feel liberated from all the hypocrisy, dysfunction and nastiness. I'm fortunate though to have friends and my own family to look to for support. This board, too, has made a significant difference in my life with incredible wisdom and lots of caring folks.

That's beautiful and I may sound crazy but I do feel him around me frequently and he's in my dreams on occasion too Sometimes I'm trying to get to him or find him but a few months ago he met me at what seemed like a very nice beach house and was standing there (in typical fashion) with a drink in his hand. Brought a smile to my face when I woke up!

On Friday it was 6 months and, much like Justin, my angry days were early on when I had way too much coming at me non-stop, day and night, all at once. At that time, I grabbed a rake and took my frustration out on the million some odd leaves that fell in my yard in the fall until I was so exhausted I couldn't rake any more. Someone recently pointed out the electric leaf blower I could have used I have always been a high strung person but oddly enough when at 4 months my car was hit and totalled on my way to a griefshare session, I had absolutely nothing left in terms of emotion. All I could say while staring into space was "this is just one more thing". You do need to get it out, but I would also say be mindful of how it impacts your health. Much like Dan's family, mine also has heart disease so I've been working really hard to find a balance, keep stress in check and hopefully achieve a more peaceful existence.

Halloween 2010...Dan was a rather shy person so imagine my shock and surprise when he announced his Halloween costume was going to be a Hooters girl

I think it's a great idea. I work in IT and online sites, in my opinion, are very helpful in connecting to others when it's not necessarily possible or convenient to meet someone other ways. But one should be very aware that fraudsters are out there as well as folks who are eager to engage in activities that are inconsistent with what you are looking for in terms of a relationship. Take it slow, keep communication on the site so it can be monitored, don't share personal information too soon and NEVER help anyone out financially.

At 6 months, i feel fairly confident with all the decisions i've made so far but wonder which ones (if any) he would have challenged me on.

You get ready to go to lunch with a friend to a nice restaurant and wear heels but don't realize they are two completely different shoes until you get back home You hit the button to open the garage door, don't wait for it to open all the way, walk right into it and end up on the ground. Lucky for you the person you were meeting was coming up the drive at that time and saw the whole thing.