Jess

Dahlia, I am so sorry for your loss but glad you found us. The divorced vs. widowed thing is a strange comparison. I have found that people that compare their divorce to being widowed really do usually mean well and are trying to relate. To us, especially so early on, the comparison can sting, but it comes down to people just want to say the right thing and have no idea what that may be. I am wishing you much peace and comfort.

Joe's last words to me were "I love you, goodnight". About ten minutes later he had a seizure and went into cardiac arrest. He was declared dead about an hour later. They were typical words we would say or anyone would say, but I cherish them.

Awesome! I believe it would have locked the topic. Hopefully that appeased her curiosity!

Ok, I changed another setting. Does your 12 year old self still have a button to be tempted by?

Thanks for pointing that out, AC. I will delve back in and see what that question mark may mean or just try to get rid of it. I appreciate people's patience with our growing pains as we figure out things. We will get it down, I promise.

Yes, but it was not deleted by a mod or admin. I checked permissions settings and saw that members can delete threads they start so I updated that setting to disallow that because that is my best guess that is how it disappeared. I think the possibility of a relationship board is a worthy discussion and I do hope that despite the hiccup, the discussion continues to help us make a decision.

I think sometimes maybe the key is to adjust to the flames, not wait for them to be extinguished. The meaning of "okay" has changed, just like every thing else in our lives.

I am 6 days behind you. I find myself having what I call quick hiccups of grief. I will think of something out of the blue and lose it and gather it back in quickly. I have days where I don't want to move at times. I wish this journey was more linear instead of so up and down and back and forth. I think even though months have passed, there is still shock that is peeling away that this is our reality. Peace to you.

Mine is not very clever. It is a nickname a long time friend of mine calls me. He was always the only one that could get away with it, but my shock riddled brain could only manage to think of that name when I registered. So now many people call me that.

DeeDee, everyone is different. It is possible when the shock wears off it will get harder. For many people, myself included, this is what happens. I miss shock so much some days. However, never assume one person's journey will be yours. One thing I do know for sure is that no matter how hard it gets, you can make it through it, even when it is so exhausting and impossible. Let yourself feel what you need to feel.. your brain and heart will take care of guiding you the way you need to go. As that happens, we are here to listen no matter what you need to say.

Sorry for the delayed response, I was galavanting around Vegas this weekend. I checked with Justin and the 8th, 9th, or 11th at any time of day work for him. I am free then as well. I think we should maybe shoot for somewhere on Tempe if that works for people.

I think I say the phrase "I miss my brain" every single day still. I am told it comes back and to some degree it has in some areas, but I am am nowhere near where I once was. So frustrating!

Great idea. I donated, but am willing to help pay for domain costs if necessary. Widowedyoung is available too. A bunch that were available when we were on proboards are no longer available- hope you grabbed them. THANK YOU, Lewis. I grabbed the youngwidowforum.com, net, org, and info domain names when I was trying to figure out how to things a bit more permanent. Then Lewis go a hold of me and the rest is history. Those may be the ones you are thinking of.

The "Like" button is now available! Thank you!

It was all Lewis, the man behind the curtain. Ask and (occasionally) ye shall receive!

BentNOTbroken, I am glad you made it here but so sorry you had to. Your strength shines through in your words. Beautiful outlook.

I have a friend that I consider irreplaceable. She is the one person that still not only checks up on my consistently, but also actually invites me to go places. In the beginning of all of this, when I returned to work I was working from home. She had a work from home day one day a week and would drive 25 miles to my house and sit and work with me. Sometimes we would discuss grief stuff but a lot of times we wouldn't and I would get short bursts of being ME. She is a hero in my life.

I just activated her account since she wasn't getting the email and left her a note at proboards to try logging in when she gets up in the morning.

This is really exciting! I'm sure we can help out with a ride if needed, OSAAT. I'm in the East Valley, but happy to go wherever.

Great job! I prefer to think that they know about these things and are happy. Who knows if they do, but I have always liked the thought. You go!

Sandy, not even joking, at 14 days those things are huge. I still couldn't eat solid food at 14 days out, much less consider cooking anything. I didn't return to work until I was about 25 days out and even then it was partial days from home. Remember, there is no right or wrong timetable. Do what you feel ready for when you feel ready for it and give yourself permission to act on the feeling that you are not ready for something should you ever feel it.

Beautiful picture. Living in Arizona, we've got a heck of a lot of wonderful sunsets too and love taking pictures of them to remind myself the world is still a beautiful place despite my tragedy.

You have so much on your plate and you still can end your post like that. You are right. You can keep going. You are keeping going. You can do this. You are doing this.

My husband died suddenly, but from a seizure (he had never had one before and I had no idea he had any health issues). That night, my dad essentially moved in with me for a few weeks and friends started dividing up shifts to be there for me. The support was what I needed. I remember being so very afraid what would happen when it went away. My first day and night to myself was about 3 weeks in. I survived it. I remember getting out some of my screaming that I had been holding back, but in the morning, it was still a new day and the next day, yet another one came and I dealt with it as it came. I am wishing you much peace and comfort.

Beautifully told. My thoughts are with you.