trying2breathe

arneal I will try to include him in on my activities. What bothers me is that he was incredulous that I wouldn't join him for a night-time paddle (chilly night!) to see the moon rise. Sounds romantic, yes - but I think it would have been a miserable experience for me. Feeling old. Guess I should feel lucky that he's active, though.

5'2", so height isn't a big deal for me. Yup, the energy thing - I'm having a different kind of a problem though. Guy that I've seen a few times is super active, but mostly wants to do his thing - stand up paddle boarding, surfing, rock climbing. At my age, it's unlikely that I'll keep up with him with his sports. My dancing, hiking and going to the gym seems boring to him. sigh .......

Rob Happy Birthday to your girls! I understand the frustration and sadness of trying to organize something like this. DD turned 16 soon after we moved, it took everything that I had to try and gather family & close friends for her birthday celebration. I think that people just don't understand the importance that we feel about our children's milestones, the fact that we face a huge emptiness of what once was, the hole left by our departed loved one. My children's birthdays mean so much more to me now. I just don't think that others get that. I hope that you enjoy tonight with your girls, whatever you decide to do. Sweet 16!!

Missed this too, somehow. I'm in Southeast Florida. Go Dolphins!!

Frederick I think that I might have done the same as you, given the circumstances. I've had situations where I've regretted not doing something, having made decisions to not act. From my perspective you certainly didn't seem like a creepy stalker. He looked you up too in 2008, after all. Agree about the innocence of youth - DH and I used to say that we got married when we were skinny and clueless.

momtokam Indeed, sigh .... what's he thinking? I don't know that I would have been able to be as polite.

arneal MH does have some good texting videos, thank you for sharing this. Handsome guy that I briefly dated was heavily into texting and I was not. I now think that I should have been more responsive to his texts ..... sigh. Rob She sounds like she's worth the wait! It is a difficult time of year to start dating, isn't it?

Well done, Rob - what a great way to start the day! Would definitely boost my ego a bit to get a message like that! Is there a date being arranged out of this? I think I'll check out the advice videos you mentioned, arneal. I'm woefully lacking in modern day dating skills. Like texting etiquette - yikes!

momtokam The new profile is cute, a refreshing change from the ordinary I think. What an a** to critique it - loved your response!

imissdow I get it too, not much time to spare when a date comes up. And it's a balancing act to decide whether it's worth it to cancel plans, or go with the date. I'm just getting into this game again, and surprised that so far have had very little notice when asked out. Makes it even more difficult to try to get together.

I did a halfway attempt at on-line dating, never posted any photos of myself and after a year, realized that absolutely nothing came of it. Not much ventured, nothing gained. I think it was more curiosity rather than really wanting to get out there. Forward to now - last week I joined a dating/matchmaking service. Members are vetted, profiles are posted and dates are arranged. I attended a party, met some great people and made a couple of connections, met for dinner with one very handsome guy. First attempt at dating - this handsome guy is still so damaged from his divorce ten years ago, it's sad. This was probably one of the most depressing dates that I've ever been on. It was a slap in the face to realize that it's so much more complicated now. Ugghhh ...... hopefully some better stories to come.

What wonderful news! Very best wishes to you!

How frustrating! Maybe this teacher is not paying attention, simply putting a rote comment on a test with a lower score without checking whose test it is? I hope your daughter isn't too bothered with these senseless comments. Hope you succeed in getting the message across to the teacher at your conference.

"I am trying to let their grades be their grades, asking about how they feel about them and offering to coach. I can ask better questions today." This was usually my strategy too. I felt that by high school, there wasn't too much that I could do to affect my kids' attitudes towards certain classes and their efforts made towards those classes. That being said, I did have conversations with DD on how to manage a Spanish class with a teacher that she really didn't care for. It was more about managing a relationship rather than doing the course work. Conferences were a chance to communicate with teachers to get real information, something that my kids might not otherwise share. How great to have a tearful moment with a teacher, so sweet. You have much to be proud of with your girls! DD is my youngest and a senior this year, it's bittersweet that this is our last year of conferences.

What a jolt, SB, to have your son tell you he remembers. I understand that smells stay with a person pretty much forever. So sorry that you're left to try to deal with this. Do you feel at his age that he can't handle the truth? There are some unpleasant truths about my DH that I've told my kids, if for no other reason than they need to know what's in their genetics and know what to watch for. Thirteen is young, seems that he's figured it out already. Maybe there's an age appropriate way to talk about it? Good luck ~

There is nothing easy about the college process. I'm going through this now with DD, and went through it with DS two years ago. For me, it was deciding what was doable financially and choosing school options from there. It is so frustrating to not know what the financial circumstances will be or what scholarships and financial aid will offer. I was on my own with my son to go through this, but my daughter's school offers financial counseling along with a college counselor. Is there something like this where you are? Good luck!

Trying I relate to much of your post - how different we are now, the opportunities that arose out of loss and the chances taken. There is no doubt that your late husband would be so very proud of you.

I appreciate the responses. What I'm beginning to realize is that I'm afraid of moving forward, of thinking of the possibility of starting a relationship. I'm not one to shy away from conversation, and consider myself to be fairly good at it. When it comes to talking to somebody that I'm attracted to that might lead to anything, that's when I get scared and clam up. I practiced yesterday at the deli counter - there was an attractive older gentleman, I had no interest in him - and I struck up a conversation. It was pleasant, we had a nice chat and that was that. I guess I'll keep practicing this until I don't feel strange about it.

Those words would take me aback too, SVS. I wonder if we will ever be okay with the word "widow" to describe ourselves. Three years out and then some and it still doesn't seem right.

Beautiful, Rob. Allergies here too

Not a male, but commiserating on this too. My 20 y/o has been trying for awhile, now has a full beard and proudly has not shaved it in over 6 months. It's hard for me to not be critical of this, the more I press it the more he resists but that's another story. I look back fondly on those days when he was only patchy and scruffy!

Thanks for the responses, yes I feel like a middle schooler trying to fit in. Attempting to say hello to an attractive man, with thoughts of anything romantic possibly happening, seems so surreal. It's like the muscle memory of being married is still there, and attempting the start of another relationship is wrong. My head knows this isn't true, heart hasn't caught up yet I guess. I do feel ready to date though - just a really weird phase to be in.

My late husband would love the neighborhood where I moved. He would be thrilled that our son is thriving in his 2nd year at college. And he would be incredulous that Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are our presidential candidates, would have loved watching the voting process and to see who wins.

I was widowed over 3 years ago, and haven't made the effort yet to start dating. But I feel like maybe I'm ready to get out there. I was married for 20 years, haven't been on the dating scene for 25 years. So my question for those of you that have been there and done that - how do you know if somebody is interested? I ask this because this evening at the gym, a cute guy came over to the mat next to mine, stretched and hung out there doing his thing, we made eye contact but I was so freaked out that I didn't know how to acknowledge him. We finished up, he stood at the door waiting to leave, I grabbed my keys and dashed. It truly could be my imagination that this guy had interest in me - however, my question is, for the next time if there is one - how the hell do I do this?? I feel like I would do better if I were planted on Mars and asked to survive. I truly have no clue on how this works. Any advice?

I curse Facebook too, those memories that pop up are huge triggers. Hugs ~