Virgo Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Last night I got my memorial tattoo. It was so unbelievably therapeutic. Today marks 3 years. I'm not sure if I'm just feeling overly emotional, but I'm considering taking a break from dating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobFTC Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Joined Match last weekend and sent out some messages. Not one of them has been read, I bet you they haven't paid their membership. I find that annoying. Don't let that annoy you. Match really discourages you from hiding your profile, even when your membership lapses - e.g. my membership has lapsed, and they send me daily matches every day, but since my profile is now hidden, I can't look at them. All you have to do is be tempted to look and forget to re-hide, and you're out there on display again. They do this so that they can use inactive profiles to market to you, the hapless member. It's nowhere near good enough to tempt you with people you could actually meet, they want to tempt you with chimeras as well :-) You have correctly stumbled on about the only way you can know if someone is a paid-up member - whether your messages are read or not. Keep sending messages, and best of luck! With all of the above said, Match was still very good for me this time (for a change). Take care, Rob T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 It does creep me out that Match is doing that, but I do understand it is a business. Sent out a few messages lets see if I have more success this week. I can't believe that Match isn't doing well in the TO area. As far as the repeaters, I really don't know what to do? They "ghosted" before I just feel they are going to do it again. The widower who wanted to chat still hasn't contacted me. I just get the feeling he really isn't ready for the next step. Next question, you know those people that check out your profile after you have checked out theirs do you ever send them a message or assume they aren't interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 Virgo, there is nothing wrong in taking an online dating break. I do it often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobFTC Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 Next question, you know those people that check out your profile after you have checked out theirs do you ever send them a message or assume they aren't interested. You can't know if you don't ask. I didn't e-mail every woman I found interesting or who looked at me - I targeted the best fits and worked through a list (I literally kept a spreadsheet, LOL!). It was always worth some attention when someone reached out to me. You could turn this around and have them wondering if you were interested when you looked at them but didn't leave a message, right? Take care, Rob T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 A spreadsheet that is a great idea, I will have to try that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klim Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 Whenever I wonder about reaching out...I reach out...if I don't I won't know. All they can do is either ignore the message...or answer it.....both provide me with an answer so all is good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nonesuch Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 What do you do with the "repeaters" that act like they don't know who you are? Never happened to me. For better or worse, they remembered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 Virgo, there is nothing wrong in taking an online dating break. I do it often. I have taken a few breaks from dating. It gets overwhelming sometimes. Quantity over quality when what I want is quality! If that makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted February 9, 2017 Author Share Posted February 9, 2017 Why do I assume everyone I talk to is honest. You chat with someone for a few days, make plans to meet, day and time, just need to pick a place, he knows I need to make childcare plans, and poof, the day before he stops responding even though he is seen on the site. What do these jerks find so amusing about this? Just man up and say you changed your mind. Don't appear interested if you are not! Sheesh! I really don't know if I am up for trying this again. It's so infuriating! Feel free to add your on line dating vents. Well, it seems I haven't learned much in the last year and a half since I started this thread. I just got ghosted again. This time we had actually met and were getting along famously, or so I thought. Then boom, complete silence. One minute he is ready to bring me chicken soup because I am sick and then the next day POOF! I am a trusting person. It's who I am. I don't want to be jaded. I don't want to change who I am. But Geez! Seriously? What is wrong with people? What happened to treating others the way you want to be treated? I know this is a regular thing these days and I have to understand it's not me. But I don't want to be guarded with everyone I meet. I hate that this is what it has come to. I just want to be me. Now I feel I can't. Honestly, I'm not sure I even want to try again. I'm fine, I'm strong. I have survived a lot worse. It just sucks though!!! End of rant..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StillWidowed Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 I'm not even bothering anymore. It's proven to be a complete waste of time. And the one guy I did connect with (or so I thought) and dated off and on for three years, ended up being a real head case. I'm busy with friends and family, but miss the companionship of a man. Then I remember what a pain in the ass online dating is, and I'm ok again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 momto and stillwidowed: I had the pleasure of spending a couple of days with a work colleague out of state who invited me to speak to her students. As we talked, she shared that she and her husband had met online. We talked about some of his quirks and some of hers ... we laughed a lot. I share that snippet to say, you both are wonderful and strong women. Whoever ghosts on you is missing out. And that right guy is out there. You might trip over him at the grocery store, slam your handbag into the back of his head getting on the subway, or spill a hot cup of something on him in the coffee shop. It will be spectacular and I for one can't wait to hear your story. It might not generate from an online meeting, but wherever it comes from, I pray it's magic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MR Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Very nicely put Arneal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RyanAmysMom Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Why is it that when I look at men's profiles online, I am appalled at how OLD everyone my age is? Seriously - some of these men that claim to be my age - I would feel like I was on a date with my dad...... Am I the only one who hasn't aged? 8) 8) 8) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobFTC Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 I just got ghosted again. I don't understand what's wrong with these guys. Bad taste AND bad manners? Geez. Hugs. Take care, Rob T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobFTC Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Why is it that when I look at men's profiles online, I am appalled at how OLD everyone my age is? LOL, you could be my sister! She's also widowed and 13 years older than me, and she can't get over how OLD the guys in her searches all look. It's putting a damper on her dream of having a knight in shining armor ride up to her doorstep! Take care, Rob T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MR Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 I suppose guys age faster than girls.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bdean38 Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Why is it that when I look at men's profiles online, I am appalled at how OLD everyone my age is? Seriously - some of these men that claim to be my age - I would feel like I was on a date with my dad...... Am I the only one who hasn't aged? 8) 8) 8) haha! this is hilarious!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted February 11, 2017 Author Share Posted February 11, 2017 I just got ghosted again. I don't understand what's wrong with these guys. Bad taste AND bad manners? Geez. Hugs. Take care, Rob T Thanks Rob. No taste at all! His loss! 😊 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Ghosting, just don't understand it, especially when you still see they are on the site? Why are they there in the first place? Another question for everyone. It appears that some of these guys show that they are online 24 hours a day? Is something glitchy on the sites? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klim Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 On some of the phone apps it doesn't log out when you close the app. You actually have to go into settings scroll down and logout... I've accidently left myself logged in over an extended period of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted February 18, 2017 Author Share Posted February 18, 2017 Don't take it personally Needytoo.... It is what it is.... And Klim is right about the logging off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wecouldbeheros Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 Ghosting is the way people show they have no interest in communicating further. Sort of the same as blocking but maybe they're thinking it's kinder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klim Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 Blocking is for people who are bothersome or threatening.... Not replying is for people you're not interested in.... Letting people go politely ( Thanks for the conversation/ coffee/ drink etc but I'm not feeling the connection I'm looking for. Good luck in your search.) is the right thing. My definition of ghosting ...this occurs when you've had a fair bit of conversation, a meeting planned or perhaps even meetngreet..........and then nothing.... Ghosting is just weird and not nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 Totally agree on the ghosting, it isn't right at all. Thanks for clearing up the Match app, now I am not as creeped out. I am continuing on my "Match" experiment and continuing to message three guys a week. So far not one has even read my message. Might be my primary photo, which I thought was kinda funny but maybe guys don't think so. It is a picture of my sons and I posing with our sunglasses on; I believe that it shows the fun side of me, but others might think the boys look like bodyguards. How do I change my primary photo to one that I just loaded up? It just says it is an additional photo and not a primary one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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