Guest nonesuch Posted July 9, 2016 Share Posted July 9, 2016 Next thing you know this elderly gentleman has followed me over to my picnic bench and asks me to dance. of course I couldn't refuse. During the dance I found out he was 80. You made that gentleman's day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted July 12, 2016 Share Posted July 12, 2016 So despite having a main interest who I met online (and who I have been out with), I still have my profile up on this one particular site. I gave my alternate number to a couple of guys and we have texted. I am slightly annoyed at their terms of endearment (sweetie, honey, dear) or the one's 'romantic' overtures (the other day he writes, 'I woke up thinking of the most beautiful person I know - you') because they don't know me. Just can't be satisfied lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted July 12, 2016 Share Posted July 12, 2016 Loved your story Kilm. Ghosting? What is up with that. I did text one guy and we chatted back and forth and I thought we were going to make plans to meet, and then poof no response I see he is online all the time too, am I suppose to keep messaging him? I don't get it. One legged guy messaged me and I told him I think we are done. Two coffee dates and he didn't show up for both. Another guy has messaged me twice asking me over to his place. Not once has he even asked my name. I am no expert but sounds like he wants a booty call or maybe he just doesn't know what the heck he is doing online. We are having a local reunion party weekend in our area and I told him maybe I will see him there. Hint hint there buddy I am giving you an opening. His response was "have a great time". Seriously, what the heck. Lastly this one is for the books. I belong to this women over 40 dating support site. There are women from all over the world on it and wouldn't you know it there was a women from my area. Online she seemed great so I suggested maybe we can try speed dating or going to single dances together. We got together last weekend. Three hours she talked. To keep it short the woman is a little off. Now because of my big mouth she is going to a concert this weekend with me. Seriously, I am an idiot. Arneal your message put a smile on my face, thanks sweetie. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted July 12, 2016 Share Posted July 12, 2016 Oh, Needy! I am so sorry to admit that I had to laugh about your 'sister friend' who you've now discovered is a bit off ... sigh. On the booty call or fast moving folks, I am continually amazed. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned but despite the fact that I'd like to be close to a man, I'm not going to jump out there at the first thing breathing and who makes the suggestion. I had a phone conversation yesterday with the one guy I am texting (one of the 'babe, sweetie' fellows ... it's a good thing he's cute lol), who told me all about why he liked me and although he is aware that we don't live close and I am interested in connecting with someone nearby, he was willing to 'make it work' (huh? make what work? you don't know me!). I let him know that I am not much of a phone person to sit and chit chat, at which point he went on to tell me that he likes to talk and so I could listen. We laughed about it and then he said if things got too quiet, he would 'make me talk'. Again I say, huh? I told him that would probably be more difficult to do than to say and we laughed. I hope that he doesn't get too weird about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imissdow Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 Haven't been online in months. Got tired of it decided to take a break. Honestly I don't miss it right now. It's a lot of work. My oldest sister now has a boyfriend that she met on match. He lives about 10 minutes from me , she's 2 hours away. Go figure! Meanwhile I have managed to book all but 1 weekend out of the next 8. I will say this for on-line dating. It allowed me to "meet" a large cross cut of society. I dated guys I would never meet in real life. Some were very intersting and fun and a few were boring. Then of course I met several who were just intrested in hooking up. It really made me broaden what I think I'm looking for and helped me relize some of my deal breakers really aren't as big of a deal as I thought they were. It also made me relize that as much as I say I want a serious committed relationship I really wasn't ready for one. I might go back online again at somepoint . Taking a break really for me has ended up being a good thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 I am glad that I made you laugh Arneal, and I have to add some more information just for your enjoyment. The lady that I met she is a Sexologist and I got to here all the details. You are so correct imissdow this online dating is so hard, I try not to let it get to me but it is hard not to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted July 13, 2016 Share Posted July 13, 2016 Ha, Needy! I imagine there were quite a few 'too much information' moments during that conversation! imissdow -- yes, online dating is like a job! Interviewing, vetting, second rounds, rejections on both sides. Whew! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Sunshine , thanks for the kind words .. He just stopped texting . Now that I think about it , maybe the video was weird and he sent them to many girls.. No clue why ? I've stopped trying to figure this all out . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Hey, Sunshine! Sounds like some good things are happening for you. Funny -- I think the first guy I 'connected' with tried to reconnect on one of the sites today. He's a scammer and the profile was quickly deleted by the admin's. I have a couple of people I am friendly texting with ... wondering if I'll have to kick them to the curb since (I may have mentioned) they get friendly quick with the 'honey' and 'babe' tossed into the conversation. One dude is the poetry master -- must have one of those love poem sites bookmarked on his phone as he's sent me a couple. I mention the author and say it's nice, just so he doesn't think I'm over here swooning. As far as my 'met in person' person, we've been getting together pretty regularly on the weekends, except for this one. He works crazy hours (confirmed ... he has on-call times as a technician and I've witnessed what that looks like) so I tend to maybe send a text during the early part of the week and another toward the end and we talk to confirm the plan. He's come over and I've cooked dinner, we went to see fireworks on the 4th, we've gone to the movies and out to dinner ... but he fell off the earth this weekend. Last texts were Friday after he worked an extra long day with a suggestion to get together yesterday (Saturday) but I didn't hear from him at all. I tried to reach him today but had to leave a message. Only did that because a two or three weeks ago, he called me on a Thursday and was concerned about not hearing from me; turns out he hadn't received my texts at the beginning of the week. So, will leave it go and see what happens next. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Hi Sunshine FL, I did texted that one guy. It went back and forth and stopped at my last text. I can see when he goes online but I haven't received any messages back. Guess that one stopped before it started. Not sure what I did wrong? Thanks for asking how I am doing, I can't remember how long someone actually asked that question to me. My weekend kind of sucked to be honest. On Sunday I thought I had enough and sent out some more messages to guys and chatting with a few right now. I really want to be done with all this solo stuff. How are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsDan Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 The premature terms of endearment were a total deal breaker for me. BF and I didn't even start using them until we had been serious a few months. To me, there is something so presumptuous about it. I mean, the two most important men in my life, my husband and my father (this was before my boyfriend, now he's the third) used them, and I used to think, what makes you think you are on par with them? It has to be earned, the right to use them, in my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 Yes, Needy -- so good to see you! And no, you did absolutely nothing wrong. I had a guy message me a while ago. We texted for about a day or two and then he ghosted. Whatever. I don't have time for that. Had a guy send me the online dating equivalent of 20 questions yesterday or day before ... his last questions were about what I did for a living and when I told him, he then asked me if I liked what I did. My response: 'Of course -- if I didn't, I wouldn't be in debt trying to make it work' (closed with a nice smiley face and lol). He disappeared. Again, whatever. Don't try to get all up in my business and get judgmental ... it'll make me think that when you saw 'widow' you also saw dollar signs. I work in education, so I'll most likely be cash-poor until after I die ... Sunshine -- can't remember if it was on this thread or another, but I mentioned reading a bit about zodiac sign traits. Again, I don't read horror-scopes (lol) or any of that muck, but from the psychological perspective, I am interested in how much like our star signs we are. I see a lot of Aquarius in me, so when I found out he was a Cancer, I had to go research. It seems that our star signs are not naturally compatible but with work can be a dynamic duo. That was good news In reality, I see that his communication style and mine tend to be different, which is okay too. We're in the learning stage, right? Got a text this morning; he said he went off grid for the weekend and he'll ring me tonight. I can understand that; I live by my own schedule and can happily not deal with people for long stretches if needed for my own mental comfort. I plan to have a conversation about where I'm coming from, as you mention, in a caring way. After all, we can only come from the spaces we know best. As another aside, one of the 'terms of endearment' fellas texted me this morning to ask if I missed him. Really? My Jersey girl almost came out but I replied nicely that I would reserve my answer since we don't know each other that well yet. The second 'terms of endearment' fella texted something about thinking of me all the time. Again, really? You don't know me, dude. Guess you're thinking of the me of your imagination ... lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Thank you Arneal and SunshineFL it means a lot that you guys care. Now on to the update one guy messaged me but I didn't notice he lived a distance away, he is willing to relocate. I have no idea what even his name is. Thinking I just might ghost on that one. Another guy has asked me what I do for a living before asking what my name is. Weird stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serpico Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Thinking I just might ghost on that one. How about instead letting him know that you're concerned about the distance and you just don't think it would work out? Nobody enjoys being ghosted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted July 19, 2016 Author Share Posted July 19, 2016 Hello friends! I haven't posted on this thread in a while. I haven't had any material for you! It looks like there are many of you that have kept this thread alive though. Kind of sad in many ways what we have to encounter in the crazy on line dating world. Please don't take these crazies out there, personally. I know it's hard and I have fallen in that trap many, many times. Don't be afraid to tell them what's on your mind. You just may be entertained in their responses! And we all can use some laughs! Perhaps some honesty and prodding might even bring out a different side of them. Stranger things have happened! To the most recent dating posters, Momtojandj, Arneal, Needytoo, Klim, Imissdow, SunshineFL....I am sending the biggest hugs! I want to know how you all are doing...really. You are amazing ladies, don't let anyone make you feel otherwise! 👭 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Thanks so much, momto! I am making necessary changes in my life, which keeps me busy when I'm not feeling absurdly lonely for a relationship Fortunately, I am much too private a person to do the hook up thing, as based on one of my Facebook friends who delights in sharing crazy Tinder stories, would be simple to find. I have given myself home improvement and personal improvement projects, including cleaning the garage (finished Phase One today! Now I can start re-organizing) and going to the gym regularly. I want to take care of me and mine so when the time is right for me to be in a relationship I will have something to offer that is (hopefully) comparable with whatever he will bring. Needy -- I agree with Serpico; no one wants to be ghosted and as momto said, don't hesitate to say what you mean. The last two people I've been texting (the early romantics lol) both are at a distance. I was very clear that I am interested in connecting with someone close by and am not in a position to travel. They have continued to text for the most part. Haven't heard much since yesterday when I made it clear that I was not going to quickly reciprocate their endearments. Such is life but at least they know where I'm coming from. We can't always figure out the motives of others but at least we can be clear about our own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted July 19, 2016 Author Share Posted July 19, 2016 Sounds like you have a good attitude and making some positive moves in your life Arneal. Way to go girl! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 I'm trying! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 I didn't ghost. Feel really bad for this guy he is very lonely but there is no way it is going to work he lives way too far. Still getting messages from the other guy at least he hasn't ghosted, yet. A got a two other messages from guys. Weird how it comes in packs and then settles down. What is Tinder? I think my kids are on that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Agreed, Needy -- it does seem to come in packs lol! Tinder is a hook-up site, as I understand it. Swipe one way to indicate interest, swipe the other way for no interest. The messages my Facebook friend mentions are always from guys looking just for sex. I don't have it on my phone so I am not sure if it's more than that ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Arneal and needytoo, I have used tinder .. But I clearly say I'm looking to date. Believe it or not, I've had a few dates from there . I like it because it hooks up thru Facebook, it will tell you if you have friends in common. It's honestly no worse than the other free sites. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TofinoMan Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 So what is all this ghost talk? I admit that I am not an internet guy....but my brain keeps seeing people in a white sheet at a Halloween party. I might date again in 60 years....those old guys in the retirement home by then shouldn't need for me to be online since we are all locked in the same building. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted July 20, 2016 Share Posted July 20, 2016 Tofinoman... Funny ... Ghosting is when you are talking to someone from online , and emails , calls or texts have gone back and forth . A lot of times a date has been set up, and poof they stop calling, texting, emailing . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted July 20, 2016 Author Share Posted July 20, 2016 I have a friend who made me try Tinder. She has friends who are in relationships that met on that site. Bumble is similar but the woman has to initiate contact after a match. No luck for me there. Had not met anyone in person fron there. They had either ghosted or were scammers. So much fun new terminology for sure Tofinoman. We almost need a new age dating dictionary. I have actually Googled some terms that have not made sense to me. Urban dictionary has been a help at times. 😁 So many things have been messaged to me with sexual references and I've had no clue! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tybec Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Random, I know, but with marrying the only guy I dated from HS, there are so many rules regarding dating. NG told me when a woman wears her matching bra and underwear, she is open to sex on the date. Who makes these rules? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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