SoVerySad Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 I'm hoping some of our male members can offer some advice. My son, who recently turned 18 so I am trying to respect his choices, is trying to grow a beard. It looks awful. So scruffy and patchy. Is there any way to more quickly get past this stage? Anything to be done to help it look better? He has gorgeous black hair, so I am assuming at some point it will look quite handsome, but right now not so much. Wish his Dad was still here for things like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twin_mom Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Not male and no advice, but I want to commiserate... My son is 13 and for some reason will not shave (ng is trying to work with him for me, he has some sensory issues)... And he has like 6 long black hairs sticking out of his chin that looks like a straggly troll. It looks horrible.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
First Widow Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Not a male either, just commiserating! My 18 year old has tried a couple times with similar results. Eventually there's some event or a girl that makes him shave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serpico Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Is there any way to more quickly get past this stage? Yeah, I'd say ignoring it would be the best way to get past it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adp Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Male here, and pretty heavily bearded. Unfortunately, there's probably not much to be done to help it along - a man's beard will grow as it will and no other way. And whilst I can grow a fairly decent beard now I certainly couldn't at 18. Trying to persuade him to shave it off almost certainly won't work though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Too bad there aren't false beards (think wigs) like the ancient Egyptian pharaohs used to wear or department store Santas. He could wear a false beard over the fledgling beard until it grows in. It is Halloween season after all. Sorry, I realize that's no help. I wonder what got him set on growing a beard? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 pretty heavily bearded And I think we can all agree, that's a pretty heavy understatement, adp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 pretty heavily bearded And I think we can all agree, that's a pretty heavy understatement, adp. Oh, how I needed that chuckle tonight! I'm not sure what the inspiration for the beard has been. It may even just be that he doesn't want to take the time to shave. It worked for a while to tell him that if he shaved it off every so often, it would grow back in more fully each time. I actually was told that by a male acquaintance, I wasn't trying to mislead him. He has since told me I was mistaken. Thanks for the commiseration from those of you experiencing a similar situation. TooSoon, you may be on to something with the fake beard during this phase. Hmmmm..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SemperFidelis Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Not male but.... I think beards have become kind of a trendy thing so maybe he is going for that look..... LH never could grow a very substantial beard. Genetics I think. But at least it was more than six long black hairs lol. Sorry you are having to witness your sons awkward "trying a beard" phase. Maybe he needs to make friends with some males(ok I will include females too to be PC) with real beards so that he can see how woefully inadequate his is? Sometimes it just takes a little perspective? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Facial hair is definitely a popular thing right now. My 20 year has a very full beard and needs to stay on top of or it gets unruly. My 18 year old can not grow a full beard and does some very unattractive things with just chin hair or a partial goatee because it doesn't fill in. I let it go, hair and facial hair are temporary and lets them express themselves. For me it's better than body piercings and full sleeve tattoos that they may regret later. Of course there are times I can't hold back saying what I think about how much more handsome they would be clean cut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsDan Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Well, some people can grow a beard and some can't. Dan could not grow a beard. Occasionally he would try, but being so sparse it became more irritating than anything so he would just shave it off. Maybe that will happen, that your son will just grow frustrated with it and give up. But being able to grow a full beard may never happen. My boyfriend is the opposite; he has what I call Fred Flintstone syndrome; he shaves and immediately has a five o'clock shadow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trying2breathe Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Not a male, but commiserating on this too. My 20 y/o has been trying for awhile, now has a full beard and proudly has not shaved it in over 6 months. It's hard for me to not be critical of this, the more I press it the more he resists but that's another story. I look back fondly on those days when he was only patchy and scruffy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 Thank you all for sharing in this conversation with me. MrsDan, my T had Fred Flintstone syndrome too (great descriptor). It is hard to go from being the one responsible for their appearance to allowing them to choose their own style (or lack thereof). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunny Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 I am female and childless. But I do remember my mom always being open to me expressing myself through my 'unique' fashion sense and hair styles. She also bought me a bra before I really needed one, because she understood it was an important rite of passage for me. (Similar to a boy growing his first scraggly beard, I imagine.) These are good memories. I was a good kid, so whenever her friends commented on her 'letting me' look that way she'd respond: I'd rather she experiment with that than with drugs! I asked my bf about shaving and he said he had to do it about once a month until magically he got a full thick beard at age 20. So...hopefully your torture will be gone in a couple years! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted October 10, 2016 Author Share Posted October 10, 2016 Thanks. Bunny, for the encouragement. I have become pretty loose on allowing my kids to develop their own styles. I realize what a small issue it really overall, but it means a great deal to them. So my 16 yr old daughter has a tiny stud nose piercing and the bottom 1/3 of her long hair is purple. She loves to wear black and proudly wears her favorite bands' merchandise. It tickles me how polar opposite what she chooses is from what I would choose for her. I imagine that it may be the result of my penchant to dress her in really girly outfits with matching hair bows, tights, etc. when she was small. She's getting back at me for all those years she had to suffer through Gymboree outfits, etc.. Actually, she looks beautiful in what she chooses and I like that she is her own person. Amazingly, my son's beard has actually started to fill in just since I made the original post. It looks much better and hopefully will keep filling in. He's very pleased with it, which is really all that matters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted October 18, 2016 Author Share Posted October 18, 2016 Beard update: My son may now shave the beard to be able to paint his face for a costume for Halloween. Now I'm the one trying to discourage him from shaving it off, as I'm not thrilled about the scraggly stage he'll have to go thru to regrow it. I have turned into that mother who is never satisfied. Mostly I'm kidding. He can do what he chooses with his face. It is just funny how we've flipped sides. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bear Tomás Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 A beard must be slowly nurtured. 8) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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