jgib

Thanks anneal, will check that site out.

Needy and trying2 you give me hope......

I am so sorry you are going through this. You are still grieving and the dirtbag is stopping you from working it through. I am not going to sugar coat it, to do what you already know is best will be rough BUT I believe completely worth it? My first years were full of loneliness and sorrow but I now realize that I was actually numb for 2 years. In a fog and numb...... to, after 2 years, actually start feeling again sort of sucked! I thought I would have worked through it all by then. I was mistaken...... I can't understand how you feel with what you are going through, but I can tell you that it is one of the reasons I have been so cautious about reconnecting with someone.

Hmmm....interesting. As of yet, I have not been the one to suggest a meeting. I am a bit old school and think if a man has an interest, he will suggest it. This may be why a couple of communications that seemed interesting just stopped. If men are used to women suggesting the first meeting I may have seemed disinterested. Oh well, not I a hurry anyways. Don't really like this whole dating thing much.

Thank you all for posting. January will be year 4 for me. I keep thinking this year will be easier and it never seems to be. You all are helping me and reminding me that just may not ever be the case. Maybe I just need to accept easier is not the right word and that each year will be what it is as that anniversary rolls around. Time to stop looking for easier and just accept what it is. Easy to write the words and maybe not so easy to do!

You are over sensitive because of what you have been through. It is all good. I am glad you came in contact with compassionate people. Win, win. It is not like you pulled the " Do you know who I am" card. You needed help and people came through. Be grateful you ran into good folk and enjoy your new life!

"I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true” ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

What Bunny says!!

I had my dads and moms wedding rings, my engagement and wedding ring and his wedding band made into a ring I wear on the middle finger of my left had. I never take it off.....

Would have been 22 years..... It hasn't been as bad as I thought it might. Nice to not feel as numb anymore and be able to remember some things. We where never big on celebrating it anyways, maybe that is what is making it easier.....

Rod, good advice. DH always used to say he was interviewing an employer as much as they were interviewing him in a a job interview.

Sorry this is happening. It does sound daunting. If you need to stay, for your health, what about writing out a one year plan to get out. This gives you time to address some of your concerns and you are not just doing a knee jerk response but you will be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and that can often make things more bearable.

I am so sorry for your pain Abby. I lost 4 close family member in 4 years just before my husband. I too thought I knew how to roll with loss and grief. DH was also sudden, an accident. I was the opposite of you, I went numb. I exhibited in a fog and don't think I felt anything for two years..... I agree, don't think too far ahead and focus on the important stuff. I am not going to say it gets better but it does get different. It will not "be" like this forever.

Thanks for the smile, I needed one today.

Thanks for sharing Maureen. I enjoy hearing where others are and what they are up to.

Bunny, my thoughts exactly. If he doesn't want to be with me ahead of all others, I have no interest in being with him. A philosophy I have always lived by.

Trust and believe....it is worth it....

1. Willow 2. Nigel 3. Eggs from the chickens.

I thought so as well Lisa. He was their oldest son and I know they miss him terribly. I am so glad they have stayed connected with me.

Mizpah, I believe you already know the answers, you just don't like them very much. This happens to us all in different aspects of our lives. I will be honest with you and your "like a temper tantrum " comment is what my thoughts were about your first post. You just being upset about what you wanted and weren't getting instead of seeing the whole picture. Then your next post really showed some insight and self reflection and like I say, I think you really do know the answers for yourself, they are just not exactly how you want then. Nobody can really tell you what is best for you but you are smart you will get it. Maybe stop overthinking it so much, relax, take a deep breath and feel lucky for what you have for a few moments each day.

I still keep in contact with DHs parents. It has been over 3 years and they still Skype me regularly. They live in New Zealand. Hubby and I never had children, a choice we made together. About a year after he passed I got a couple of lovely, little Italian greyhounds. I figure they saved me.... Today, as we Skyped, the dogs jumped on me and gave me some kisses and his mom asked how the grandchildren were doing? It was very sweet that they still think of me and any additions to me as family. New tears......

Congratulations.

I went the puppy route. They help, A LOT! Enjoy the kittens and connecting with them. Coming home to my little dogs is the best part of my day now.......

I am a position to move.... Also not in a hurry to do anything. We will see.....

I was not saying all men are the same, nor all women. But men and women's hormones, brain functions as well as other things, are different and as such thoughts, reactions and emotions are different. I accept and value the differences! I have been around long enough now that I prefer to listen and learn about differences. It is difficult when two people's ideas about things are very different.