Needytoo

Thank you, everyone, for all your replies. The biopsy was negative, very relieved. Tomorrow, I am seeing a new therapist for cognitive behavioral therapy. Hopefully, I find this therapy helpful. I don't want to be someone who doesn't feel, but this deep anger stuff needs to stop.

In one month it will be four years my husband has left us. During this time I have grieved, learned to open up, let go of anger and accept, enjoy life and develop new friendships. Then to go through anger again and let go of the friendship. I don’t remember having periods of such anger before becoming a widow. It sure sucks the life out of you. So back into therapy and I think it is helping this time. Last night I thought I would watch some comedy, so I put on Rosie O’Donnell’s special that was on Netflix. I was enjoying and laughing and then she started to talk about her Widow Maker Heart Attack. I started to cry and couldn’t stop. This morning I still feel very drained. Today I get my results of my breast biopsy, and I am feeling lonely. That part of comfort I use to have is gone.

A spreadsheet that is a great idea, I will have to try that.

Wonderful hearing from you. Have a great time on your date.

I am so lucky I work at a college and get access to free workshops. One of our psychologists did a workshop on goals back in September. It was fantastic. Some of the people who took it thought we would continue to meet up on a monthly basis to we have someone to be accountable for our goals. One of the ladies said she uses an app on her phone to store her goals. Of course, I can't remember which one she suggested. Can anyone suggest one?

Virgo, there is nothing wrong in taking an online dating break. I do it often.

It does creep me out that Match is doing that, but I do understand it is a business. Sent out a few messages lets see if I have more success this week. I can't believe that Match isn't doing well in the TO area. As far as the repeaters, I really don't know what to do? They "ghosted" before I just feel they are going to do it again. The widower who wanted to chat still hasn't contacted me. I just get the feeling he really isn't ready for the next step. Next question, you know those people that check out your profile after you have checked out theirs do you ever send them a message or assume they aren't interested.

Joined Match last weekend and sent out some messages. Not one of them has been read, I bet you they haven't paid their membership. I find that annoying. I will send out a few more messages this weekend and see what happens. Had a widower contact me on POF and ask me a bunch of questions about how long I have been doing online dating and how do I find it. I was honest. He is very interested in a long term relationship. See what happens there. What do you do with the "repeaters" that act like they don't know who you are?

Hugs to you.

I just reserved the book at the library. I can't express the feelings I got from your post except it moved me. Thank you TooSoon.

Here I go, Fuck the slime ball contractor who I am suing. I am tired of being angry at you and having to go back into therapy. You have no fucking right. See you in court. Fuck my friend who said she would be there for me, you are a liar and for the last time fuck you. To my children, especially my oldest. You are 22 years old and have a good job and refuse to pay me $400/month for rent. No, I am not paying your cell bill, dentist bill, take you to the movies, pay for your gym bill or do your laundry. I am tired of hearing you bitch and bitch. I know how much money you have in the bank and I am proud of you but I am tired of supporting you. Fuck you son, time to start acting like an adult. I am tired of doing everything. Fuck you chores. I am tired of the loneliness.

I am so happy for everyone that has found a relationship. I agree with Kilm, there is something inorganic about this online dating thing. I changed my profile, and main photo and bunch of guys check out my profile again, and I got two responses. One of the pictures is of me with my sons, and we are wearing our sunglasses. My boys are body builders, and they have the popeye arms. One guy made a comment. Read his profile, and he seemed interesting. I asked if he had kids and what does he like to do with his free time. His reply was "I have no kids, and I mind my own business." Wow, buddy. Got another message from a "widower" that contacts me ever time I change my picture. Not sure if he is an engineer? I really like the idea of a matchmaker. I heard somewhere the local one here fee is $800. We do have speed dating events too. Or maybe I should try Match again. Decisions, decisions.

I joined Our Time, DO NOT BOTHER. It is a scam. You get randomly generated emails from guys. I think you are all right about "texter from a far". "Window face squisher" has made me his favorite on POF. I wish someone would set me up with a blind date. Only had one person suggest it to me and then took it back and said she would feel bad if it didn't turn out. I do like the idea of a Matchmaker, there is one in the area, but I don't think she has a very active service and she is very expensive. How much is yours Matchmaker trying2breathe. I know this one lady who use to put on over 40 single dances, but she stopped. She said guys would call her and asked if she would guarantee that they would get laid if they went. What is going on with the world? Speaking of that my ex-husband contacted me through Facebook. Haven't spoken or seen him in 27 years. He apologized to me for how awful he treated me. It has been interesting.

How is it going, everyone? Anyone have an inspiring story? My texter from afar, lost his job last week. Last night I received a message from someone that wasn't on my contact list. It was him; I assumed he used his work cell to text me before. Today he texts me to ask advice with his girlfriend. When are we starting to write the book?

I understand iloveyoualways, but I am ready to climb that wall or take it down brick by brick. Need some skin!!

I have read so much about on-line dating, I even paid for a "course" on how to write an on-line dating profile. I think we should write a book and make millions. I guess I am the same as you Momtokam, there is something in the profile or their pictures that draws my attention. I sent out two emails and also received two emails from two different guys. One guy is younger and is very nicely built and he has no shirt on. Oh my!! Pretty sure he is looking for something I am not willing to offer. The other guy's picture is well, totally horrible. He has his face pushed up against a window. Why? I ask why?

I am trying momtokam. I find it remarkable that so many people find their partners through online dating because I am not finding it very easy at all, but I try to keep positive. I do understand that it most likely very hard for guys in my age range as well. I am reading profiles and trying to decided on who to send a message to. Right now I am on a free site and it seems like all the guys are truck drivers, handymen or retired at 50 (which translate to me to being unemployed). My husband was a truck driver so I know how that is. Handymen, guess some do well for themselves but right now I am suing one so really rather stay away from that. Guys who play in bands, great to have a hobby but dam hard to make a living on it. Their profiles either don't say anything at all or talk about fishing or hunting, I can't even come up with a question to ask them. Or the guys whose profiles are demanding a certain "model" type and then have a picture of themselves that looks like it is a mug shot,they really push my buttons. Maybe I should just try Match again.

I am really trying to be an optimist as well momtokam. Learning to use boundaries and when to be assertive which in general has improved my life so much but there are still those life moments or certain people that I still have some issues on how to handle them. Kilm, I can understand your feelings and I wish I could give you some answers but unfortunately I have nothing.

try2breathe I have tried the old dating thing on and off for awhile. I went in totally blind and I don't recommend that, ask as many questions you would like to. Had my teeth cleaned a few days ago, my dental hygienist is so full of information on on-line dating. All her children found their partners that way. She is so inspirational. One guy sent me back two emails and pretty sure he has ghosted now. My texter from afar lost his job last night. I sent him a supportive text, but I am really thinking he is going to hit me up for money. Is it wrong to always assume the worse?

I crave the touch, but it still depends on who is touching me. I honestly not sure what to say on this one. Cuddling does help our health but just not sure if I could do it.

I sent out three emails on Sunday and had one response. He answered my question and that was it. Guys, why don't you ask a question back so we can keep the conversation going? Is this one of those "Men are from Mars" moments? The one guy that I have been chatting with also has two facebook accounts. He told me one was hacked, that is why he has two. Not sure if a facebook account can be hacked. I just assumed he had two because one was his life before his divorce.

Meetups are not taking off well in my area and I am not sure why? There were a few that opened up and I attended, events doing arts and crafts and they slowly died off. After my husband's death I looked and looked for widow/widower support groups and it took me over a year but I found one that was being held in a catholic church. I wasn't a member of the church but they still let me go. At first, it was just widows and then widowers then it people who had children die. The church would make a meal that cost $5 and we would do some kind of activity. I went a year and half and generally enjoyed it but always felt a little bit of an outsider. I even tried volunteering for support to newly widows but that didn't work out so well. I did find another widow/widower group which I am interested in but the meeting is on the same day as another thing I am doing. Our local libraries do a bunch of workshops and the best part is they are free. Just started a photography course and me and two other ladies are getting together on the weekend to do our homework. I am hopeful that it will be the beginning of a new friendship.

I can't say I had very many first meets but each one has been the same. They ramble on and on, pretty sure they are doing it because they are nervous. I too am very outgoing, but for some reason, I can't be myself on these first meets. Not sure what the psychology with that is? Hopefully next time it will be better. I am a bit of a sign-up junkie. I would have so much stuff going on that when I guy would ask me out I would have to say no. A dating coach suggested I "make room" for dating. I cut back on everything and then I went through very lonely to enjoying my solitude a little too much. This year I am hoping to have a little more balance. My new theory is I need to meet new people, male and female. I joined a ton of committees at work and trying out a community club to see if I want to join. How much effort does everyone put into this? I have found in the past it seemed this online dating stuff sucked up so much of my time, but I do want to meet someone. I am going to try datingadviceguys advice on sending out a few messages on a Sunday. I am up for any suggestions for first meet as well.

Best sex I ever had was with my first husband. We went out throughout high school and got married. Unfortunately, the marriage ended after 10 months, we only spoke once since our separation. He has contacted me through Facebook and lets just say.......hot sex memories are filling my brain.

I think you are right momtokam, he just wants a "text" buddy and I am alright with that, I enjoy hearing his text early every morning. Received a message back from the "weird" one, there is something not right with him, staying away from that one. Momtokam, I wish I had the guts to say the truth to these guys. I seem to have a repeat problem with online dating: -1st the ghosting problem, am I that boring? -guys who don't even send a message just their cell numbers. Is it because they don't have data on their phones, want to send "those" kind of pictures, want a hookup? -first meet, all they do is talk about themselves Any opininions?