Lmsmdm

I believe that gradually our spidy senses return. ((Hugs)) hope you're feeling better.

Well???

((((Hugs)))))) I hope you were able to find moments of peace. It was suggested to me by a dear friend to do something special for yourself, and make it a tradition. Big or small, make it something truly for you. I loved the idea and I ran with it. On our anniversary I either have a few friends over for dinner, or go out to lunch always with a very fancy cocktail For his birthday, I've started inviting close friends to come over with Chinese lanterns (thank you wgw). They know why I do mine, but I tell everyone to send theirs up in memory of their someone special.

The wind is real, I remember reading some horrific, also hysterical recants of ashes gone wild ha ha. Just be mindful of its direction and stand upwind. I'm glad your day went well!! Big Guy is in multiple locations. I decided early on I was taking him not only to his favorite places, but also every new place I travel. In the meantime, he resides in his velvet bag on his work bench in the garage. For future readers of this post, I recommend that you do familiarize yourself with the ashes before your ceremony. I remember reading that before I buried the first batch. I was glad I did. I remember feeling numb before, during, and after. No emotion, it was just mechanical. I now feel more at peace when I take him. I also remember planing my best bat shit widow crazy if they tried to take my small container in security at the airport ha ha. Then I read how to take the little certificate with you that the funeral home gave you. It's in that pile of papers you have somewhere. As it turned out, there was no need for bat shit crazy or the certificate. It is probably a very common occurrence. Once again glad your day went well, (((((hugs)))))

Yay!! Love reading these

Ugh...it's never easy. Hugs to you and your family.

I so get this....Hugs

yay!!! Congrats! Wishing many happy years!!

(((Hugs))))) and prayers sent! Also, a big resounding FUCK!!!!

I so get this, but it has taken til the 4 yr mark for me. I have become involved in one of the at home business......my motivation is feeling financially pinched. In reality I am ok, and better off than many, but I don't want finances to be a fear. So, I took the leap....there are a select few who make money hand over fist, and I KNOW I can be one of them!! Anyway, yay you!!!! I get it, although we are pursuing a totally different goal, I would have NEVER done this if he were alive!!

You are my hero!! 8). However, it is a dangerous trap this man that can help. I have it. Relatively easy on the eyes, nice, smart, kind, not afraid of any household duties, except cooking, very active sex life....etc. on paper, PERFECT! Something however, is not right. We broke up too weeks ago. I caved the following week. He is asleep on my lap as I wait the next 35 minutes to see if I am on strike....(yay me! ) I'm scared to make what I deep down know (well I think I do) is the right choice. I made it 2 weeks ago then, ultimately retreated. I love the idea of your profile ha ha! Who knows!! If anyone deserves the fairy tale ending, it's you!!! (((((Hugs))))))

Simi, I have been following this thread, and although I realize the road ahead for you will not be easy, I truly believe "you got this one girl!!"

I think the firsts hit for many years. This year, year #4, I worked the entire day on the sadiversary. I work in a customer based environment, so I was extremely proud I made it. I did it!!!! For the first time. Today 3 weeks later I had contact with a newbie, a 3 week newbie. My heart ached with her, and I cried with her, as if today was my first. I advised her of Ywbb rules.....drink, sleep, and eat when you can. I let her know about widda......I let her know that in time her thoughts of him WILL one day bring smiles instead of tears. However, today did remind me the "waves" ain't going away anytime soon. Yet, I was also reminded I am "better" today than I was this time 4 years ago. (I hate the word better mind you)

I can offer you some company

I am glad everything "worked out". I can't imagine living that fear again until she woke up!! ((((Hugs))))

I am stressing huge....August 1 I may be on strike.....reading the news, and my employers propaganda is freaking me out!!! I don't understand being penalized for being lucky enough to have a "Cadillac" insurance plan. I did not have a big insurance pay out with Big Guy's demise as he was not insurable with his condition. Although I am not as financially comfortable as I was when he was alive, I have been able to maintain. However, any new added expense will tip the scales, and my world will truly be turned upside down. I have recently started an at home business #itworks in an effort to stay ahead of the game, but it is slow moving, and not sure i am cut out for such ventures. I know I am whining, and I am better off than many, but tonight I am scared shitless. I want my Big Guy back to tell me everything will be ok

Ha ha Bubba Edit to fix quote ha ha

(((((Hugs)))))) I too was childless by choice. I too have a child now in the picture. I got your post. I have a feeling you are more involved with the kids than your post revealed. I understood your concerns, and I just wanted you to know.

My mother started dating a long time family friend 11 mo after my step father passed (3 years before Big Guy died.). I was extremely happy for both of them. Approximately 7 mo into the relationship, I called my mom's cell and he answered it, of course it was at her asking. I was taken back, and slightly pissed. A little back story, my mom and step dad were married since I was 9, I loved him as much as I love my dad. Of course I didn't let on that I was upset. Big Guy however, got an earful ha ha. In my little pea brain only 2 people were allowed to answer that phone, and one of them was dead. He put me in my place, and reminded me that he did what he was asked. It was my moms decision NOT mine. He was right, and i am so grateful that I kept my resentment to myself. It's been 7 years now, they got married this past March. I am just now letting go of that resentment. My point is I was lucky and had someone point out it was MY issue not hers so hopefully, I was successful and my mother never caught on!! Your friends are having their issue. They may need time too. Hugs, doesn't make it any easier.

I fear that I too will be dealing with this with my father sooner than later. Fuck them!! Do what YOU NEED to do, and let them do what they need to do. Big, big hugs. I am so sorry.

Hi, anyone else up for chat?

((((hugs))))

Thanks everyone. I survived as expected. I even made it thru the entire day at work. A first.

In the early days the "you're so strong" statements really pissed me off!!!! However, these days, damn straight!!! (((Hugs))))