cathyr

Oh my gosh! You were busy and since she doesn't seem to be, she can't handle it. Besides the fact that August is a tough month emotionally, you also had your hands full with working more than usual, your mom's needs (I'm right there with my mom and dad, and it IS all consuming!), grandkids, home, etc... If she has been a good friend in the past, I wouldn't sweat it and see if things calm down a bit. She needs to understand that you can still maintain a friendship even if some months are busy for one or the other. When this happens with my dear friends, they tend to understand and we just get together when we can and pick up where we left off. If she can't handle it and continues to be needy, maybe its time to cool the friendship to an acquaintance level.

Trying, I hear you! Much of my recent life has been similar to what you describe. I've remarried, and although I'm glad to be out of the worst of my intense grieving, I'm struck with the differences in my life then and now. At times, I long for the simplicity and joy of the past, but am very grateful for what the future holds. Congratulations on the new chapter in your life and wishing you all the happiness in the world.

What beautiful sentiments, Jeudi. I’m so sorry you and so many others are going through all these important milestones without the loving presence of our dearly departed spouses. You have given your daughter several heartfelt ideas, and she will do whatever she feels most comfortable doing on her special day. I know it’s particularly difficult for our children, and we want to ease the pain of their loss, but they may each respond differently. My son graduated from culinary school, married, and had our first grandbaby since his dad passed away ten years ago, and it still hurts…all of us. Still we keep living and make the best of this new life without our loved ones. Personally, my sons and I honor him by showing the passion he had in life. The wedding plans sound absolutely lovely. Although your daughter's dear father won’t be there in person, hopefully his love and spirit will be deeply felt. I love the idea of the charm, photos, mementos, and stories to keep his memory alive. Wishing you, your daughter and all the loved ones surrounding you on this special occasion a day filled with precious new memories.

I'm so sorry Still_Lost. I have no words of wisdom, but please believe...you are not alone. I wish I could reach through the computer screen and give you a ((((big hug))))! Sending warm and positive vibes that the heavy feeling and weight of the pain lifts a little bit each day. Hang in there!

I admire that you took the risk, especially when it's scary to do it alone! While we know nothing in this life is certain, you would always probably wonder "what if" if you hadn't taken this chance. I really wish the best for you and hope this job move ends up being fulfilling, both emotionally and financially.

Hope this nice guy is feeling better and we can soon hear of all about date. How is he? Hopefully recovering.

Hugs, Maureen! I really do get it!

Good for you to not let your sister guilt you. Does she really still believe you are rolling in the money? You are doing what it right for you and hopefully she will be over her pouting when you arrive.

Sounds like a great day, Rob! It's nice to know we can make the best of on otherwise sad time without our loved ones joining in....the new normal. Lots of cooking, cleaning, and tending to details here...with wine, of course. Happy holidays, everyone!

May this year bring a measure of peace to all.

Beautifully written... and I completely understand. :'(

No advice, just sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. It sounds like a nice home and I would do whatever it takes to keep it. I think you might have regrets if you don't. Good luck!

Wow! What a beautiful family you and Kurt have created! I remember you and Kurt from the old YWBB and am thrilled you found each other. I'm so happy for you both! Your children are precious!

Mikeeh, please just attempt to get together with friends or a meet-up organization to get you out of the routine of missing her. I hate to say it, but you are allowing her to have all this energy over you, ....you have to put yourself as your #1 priority now. To look into dating sites and jump into a new romantic relationship to fill the void is, in my opinion, the most damaging thing you can do to yourself and others at this point. You need to heal yourself and be happy with just being. I know this is hard to do. We have all been there, believe me! Please take the time to heal instead of venturing into something new until your are whole again. Find things that mean something to you, even if it is putting yourself in an area of helping others. Sometimes taking the focus off oneself, really clarifies things, even temporarily. You will be okay! Hang in there!

Yes, this definitely sounds like progress! Sometimes we begin a connection that we know isn't quite right, but regardless, we continue anyway beyond the point of no return...............until it blows up. A FWB is always a risk since one can fall more quickly than planned or what the other party had in mind. Okay, it's definitely the wine talking tonight, but keep telling yourself that "she was not as perfect as I thought." She may be a fine person, but just not the woman for you. She is not a perfect person, as I'm sure you know you aren't! Nobody's fault in that, just a mismatch that seems to have been very unhealthy for both of you. It's not dying, it's learning and healing! I always look at difficult times as something that will help me gain perspective in my future........as tough as that is! Just keep getting stronger and know that you will survive this and hopefully thrive even more magnificently!

Watching "To Sir with Love".........oldie but goodie, especially for educators, even better drinking with some Chardonnay. Never get tired of that old film....or wine!

Oh, I am so very sorry. My heart aches to think of the pain your whole family must be going through. How heartbreaking! I will definitely keep all of you in my prayers.

I'm amazed at your determination and patience throughout these past five years. You should be very proud of the way you have kept your family afloat during such stressful times, especially on top of the emotional toll of losing your husband. I'm thrilled that you will finally have that weight off your shoulders and have some financial relief and security. Best wishes for an enjoyable and peaceful Chapter 2. You and your children deserve it!

What beautiful pictures! The love between all of you shines through. May you and your sweet family have many incredible years together.

I get it! ((((((Hugs))))))

Gosh, that's a hard one. If I know exactly what I want, definitely online. No hassle and better deal! If I'm looking or thinking of possibilities, definitely browsing in person to see and feel the quality. HGTV or Food Network.........(or home improvement shows or cooking shows)?

I'm so glad to hear that he's doing better and that you're able to be with him. After what we have all been through, I also completely understand how our immediate thoughts take us back to that unimaginable pain of losing our loved ones. I can't tell you the number of times I have had panicked reactions to unknown situations with my NH, only to be reassured that he's okay. Sending prayers for continued healing for your sweet guy!

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved mom. May God comfort you, your dad, and your entire family.

Regular amount of cheese on super thin crust (with lots of veggies, basil, and Canadian bacon) Fruity umbrella drink or liquor on the rocks?

Yes, I get it! All these dates in our new lives that coincide with ones from our previous lives can be mindboggling. At times, I feel like I'm living in a different world, even though I'm the same person. My new husband and his DW's anniversary falls on the same day as my birthday, which also happens to be his late father's birthday. NH's brother's birthday is the same as my DH's mom's. Boy, that was confusing, wasn't it, so I won't bore you with more dates. Anyway, I find the overlapping of many of these important dates leave me feeling sentimental, but I'm also in awe of all the coincidences.