Amor

I will raise my glass. To your anniversary and all to come. May everyone have fond memories of their Love's and not forget to celebrate their lives. Amor

I am still not ready for him to be gone. I so hear you, we were all we needed whenever things were tight, hard we had each other. That is all that truly mattered. Now nothing matters. I was spoiled by my love. He did everything I hated doing and I did the things he hated doing. I miss that so much, the support, love, hugs and always there for me. Man, I miss him so much!

Cherry I am so sorry you are having to deal with both the loss of your love and comments about him that may or may not be true. For me all sins are forgiven at death. Which is a release of hurt for the living. I hope this helps. Amor

(((hugs)))

thank you all of the hugs

Yes lcoxwell I have read your post. I do not know why yesterday was so bad, the worst in awhile. I am sorry you had a bad day as well. I do like how sourjon(spelling wrong) said maybe we need to just have a day to cry and get it out. I have been holding it in trying to be strong. I guess I am glad I could have a day to cry, sink in memories and look at pictures. Today was better but I am getting sick for the first time in awhile. You are very right some days are just much harder than others. I am not sure why 18th months hit me the hardest. I normally do not dwell on the day of the month and let it pass like any other day. But this day hit me like a train. I am glad your day is a little better and hope your new guy is amazing and helps you to gain another everlasting love while letting you continue loving your first love. Thank you everyone for the hugs and encouragement. It means alot to have you acknowledge my Love and me unable to hold, have and cherish any more. But still Love and miss everyday without him. (((Hugs to all having a sad moment without your Love))) Amor

Wow Alaska and NC 2 of my favorite places. Where are you going in both states? Thanks for setting a date. I am not sure what I am doing yet to make it or not to disneyland we shall see. I know it will be a great trip.

Thank you everyone. I do not know why it hurts so much today.

I am so sorry you had a rough day. I did too. Man does it hurt so much when all your want is your love back in your arms. I hope the memories are good and they help you to feel the love still there. Amor

18th months today without the love of my life. Gone in a moment, a moment relived thousands of times over. I miss you my Love and wish so much you were here with me now. I love you until the end of time. Your Amor

If possible forgive yourself. Be patient with your self and family. It is not ok what they are doing at the moment. Remember people grive in different ways and hopefully soon they will understand what they are doing. Be there and open when they are ready. Grief takes many forms and hurts all around. Do not rush yourself, you have lost so much. Amor

Awesome I hope I can reach that goal. I love to swim so have been going when I can. Amor

Welcome back.

(((still lost))) i am glad you fond a place to vent. We are all here to listen. Amor

yes wynne, that is another reason you have forgetfulness and a hard time concentrating this is way too much on your mind to focus on what your brain can not handle. Be patient with yourself. This is the hardest thing to go through. Take every moment one moment at a time. You will slowly be able to have your brain work better. Give yourself the time you need to grieve and think through this pain. Never feel bad you are happy, love those moments when they come. You love wants the best for you and happiness is one of the important things on that list. May you have peace and comfort for years to come. Amor

lcoxwell That seems like great advice. I may try that. I hope everyone here hurting by hate can forgive so they are not eaten alive. Amor

(((Carey))) I am so sorry the hurt feelings are coming back. I hope you can have the good non hurting memories come. Amor

wishing for peace and a calm roller coaster ride (if there is one). I hope you are able to do something special for you today. I hate not feeling my love presents here anymore. I wish he was here but he is not so I continue missing him everyday. (((Viva)))

So very sad but true.

I thought this could use a bump for all people who have lost someone many things do apply. Amor

this is a very good article. I hope it helps others too. Amor

too soon I am glad you opened up to your friends. I have a few friends who are trying really hard to understand. Those type of people are a great gift.

Jezzy Do not worry about rambling. Your thoughts of missing him are wonderful to get out. I wish none of us had to go through this pain. (((hugs))) Amor

Do take care of yourself the best you can right now. Take things minute by minute or if needed second by second. One thing I would have liked since I did not remember much from the memorial service is for people to write down a story of my husband. Many people said great things about him but I now can not remember what they said. (((hugs))) Amor

Mr C So many things you said resonate with me as well. I am 1 year 6 months out. I am not ready for my Love to be gone. I came home looking for him but he was not home. No feeling of his presents. I wanted so much to have some part feel that he is around even if it is in his things. I am holding onto his things mostly as he left them in the house. Having and holding his things, pictures and memories are what we have left. I cherish those things. My soul longs for him wishing so much he was here. I am truly not ready. I hope that we can have peace. Amor