Amor

I so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself now. Then remember the good times. Amor

Phil I am so sorry your Love is now not standing in front of you. She will always be in your heart. The pain can be unbearable at times but you can get through even this. Take care of yourself. If you need support/ venting or just know you are not alone we are here. Amor Lost the Love of my life Aug 4th 2014.

Sending you peace and good memories on this day and the year to come. ((Hugs)) Amor

This is my opinion only I do not know his situation. I would start looking for a job. Pay all the bills you can and reduce expenses. Talk to your boss if you want the job to be able to meet the requirements and feel what the bosses attitude is. If you feel they do not want to work with him or he does/ can not meet the demands, give your 2 weeks or 1 month notice (depending on work). Give this notice in writing. If you hate a job find a new one. It is not good to be somewhere most of your life and hating it. Wishing a good job that he loves! Amor

Wheelerswife: (((HUGS))), soak in the good memories. Yes it is true you were happy and able to enjoy your time with your Love. I hope you can be happy remembering those times and having new happy memories too! Amor

Thank you all for your encouragements. I hope if I ever become ready to love another that they can love me and understand that I will love them and my lost love as well. I am glad some of you were able to find that! Amor

Thank you it helped some. I just do not even want to think about hurting someone because I still love my first love. I guess I am asking if someone could be ok with me still loving and sharing each other without lessening my 1st DH. Amor

I am sorry I have to ask this but it has been bothering me for a little while now. To the spouse of widows who are not widows yourself, I can not seem to get over how much I love the love I lost how can this remain part of me and love another without the new love not feeling resentment, hurt, or second place? I do not want to find a replacement for my love I lost, so should I never even think of having a new love? Amor

Brenda, Pain does awful things and this kind of pain no one person can take it away. What has helped me is to keep busy doing things I enjoy. Travel, driving for me was for awhile my only peace. I surrounded myself with people who cared. Found God and a 2nd family. Only having to travel 3600 miles to find that. I know my story is so much different than your. Everyone finds a different path to take. Please find a path that leads to your beautiful wife being proud of you! In the mean time find something you can do that will keep your mind off the pain. Swimming, running, rock climbing, a sport you like, a job, art, walking, driving, whatever works for you. It truly helps to have your dopamine( happy) receptors to work without even trying to be happy excising increases these receptors. Please, please, please try not to be self destructive emotionally, physically, nor mentally. Which is so easy to do, the thoughts I thought after my loved died could have killed me thousands of times over. For the precious memories of our Love's life please honor them by leaving a legacy. Amor

I just entered into the second year. Thank you for posting helpful things here. Travel does help me driving my cares away Amor

?Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.? ― Vicki Harrison

Widow33, I wish you happy memories with your beloved forever! I wish you peaceful anniversary's. I just had my anniversary as well. I was able to have peace and good memories with a beautiful dinner. Amor

I am not sure if I will be of much help. Taking the road less traveled has been an approach I am taking. I am almost one year out. But I have traveled over 3000 miles changed jobs, and had very little to do with logic. My grief has not been very logical, driving miles and miles until I can no longer drive. You will be lead to the right place that you need to be at the time and God will help you with the rest. I wish you well in your new home! Amor

Ursula, That thought is very well put. I agree with you. Wishing you good memories and peace. Amor

Justin Thank you for the encouragement.

Carey I am so glad you were able to get help. And safely home. Amor

Jess I am sorry you are feeling this away at the moment. I have my days like that too. I hope for more better days than hard. Amor

Carey Where in nc are you now? Do you still need help? You can pm me your text number and address where you are if you still need help and I will see if I am close enough? Amor

Awesome on the job promotion. I hope you can enjoy it and not have to over work.

What do you make and sell? I am glad people are trying to help show you where to get more food. I am praying for the right job to fall in your lap. And peace and comfort. This road is so hard. Amor

What I would give to hold my love one more time. Having one more chat over dinner.

Kim I am sorry you are struggling at the moment. The work place for widows is hard. Have you tried asking people in your community if you could watch their kids, dog, or cat? Have to asked people if they would like their house cleaned? Or cleaned windows of local businesses? Anything to hold you over until you can find a something better. If there are elderly you could offer to do errands for them within walking distance. Cry.. It helps so much. I hope you know there are always people here you can vent to. I hope this helps. ((hugs)) Amor

I will pray for them both.

Thank you all for your stories and suggestions. I am still trying to plan mine. I have off work that week. I am trying to decide if I should move all my things that week or spend it doing other things? Letting go of you home is hard for me to think about right now. I feel like letting go of our home means I am letting go of him. I can not let go I Love him so much.

Thank for giving a hug and a way to find support.