donswife

that is wonderful and sounds yummy

yup people say stupid things sometimes you are "dealing" with it every second of the day take care

I am so sorry its been hard and with your birthday coming up I am sure this makes it harder He sounded like a great man who took great care of you and your kids My favorite times were like you ...just sitting and talking and no one could match his sense of humor Hope you end up with a happy birthday if possible take care

I so remember this , I also lost my husband quickly (heart attack) I was numb and on auto pilot for at least 6 months, got everything done that needed to be done and then little by little reality was creeping in like he really isn't coming home ? this can't be true? that's when the sadness and like you said panic started setting in I wanted you to know that this has been felt by me and others I wish it could be easier , I really do I wish I could say something magical that would stop you from feeling this way keep writing here and take care

wishing your daughter a happy birthday sounds like a lovely evening

oh that's wonderful to see , thanks for sharing

I am so sorry for these hard days for you \you do what you need to so you can get through the day take care

Sakeraki-oh yes definitely took a time out from Christmas and at times I will this year you can only do what is best for you emotionally and don't ever feel guilty about how you feel take care

one year even before Don had died I just was not in the mood to decorate so I had friends over(kids also)one night and had the tree up and a few boxes of decorations out and they all decorated and had fun doing it I am not sure how old your kids are but maybe this is an option

wow catnip that one describes the feeling perfectly

oh yes the hugs...so missed, Only they could give us those hugs

everything you all quoted and wrote made me smile just like when we heard the song together so thank you so much for that I couldn't listen to the song this year but I will next year and think of the fun of it all

last year I did nothing !it was my first year with out don he did all the outdoor decorating , grumbling all the way but inside loving it and doing a beautiful job My house last year looked like i felt , dark and uninviting so this year a took a deep breath and opened the outside christmas lights box ... I then preceded to do a small version of his vision the best part was he had labeled everything (this is for front of the house etc) and the lights even have the clips still on them it looks a little more inviting and not as sad kinda reflecting how I feel little by little . Plus it does make me smile pulling in the driveway and its like having a little part of him in the lights

I should be able to do this also

I am glad you found that group and it does help so much to be with people that get it its like we now speak a different language that only others in this understand makes a world of difference to be understood hope you get to meet up with them again

so tomorrow I am going to do the usual Thanksgiving thing going to the in laws for meal number one , then my family's for meal number two for the first time I will be doing this alone , for the past 27 years we did this together the timing just worked where we heard the song Alice's restaurant (at noon) yup the whole version ...not sure how to hear this and still be able to put on the happy face and be " thankfull" wish me luck and I will try to remember to just breathe .. I will say I am thankful for the 27 years I had with my don and those wonderful car rides

So far i can't give any great words of encouragement but the thing I did to TRY and get out of the funk is I put up christmas lights outside My don did this every year , he pretended to be the Grinch and bah humbugged the whole time but it looked amazing I did a mini version but it seemed so sad last year when I did nothing , like the house was still mourning and unwelcoming and it was the funny part was he had everything laid out and labeled , like it was waiting for me to get off my ass and make him proud so when I pull up at night I know he won't be here but then again in a way he is , so that does put a little smile on my face

yes forever should be longer I am so sorry about losing your wife and you reliving those moments we all wish we could take all the pain and heart break away please come here and post whenever you need take care

I feel the same way today I was just pissed (sorry if people hate that word) and it will be my second holiday season with out Don last year was a haze as he died the end of october I will try and not be the angry or sad person this year but like you I need a little motivation or encouragement I won't lie when I hear Alices restaurant on thanksgiving my heart will break it was always on the radio at noon as we were heading out to his Moms

i am around the same timeline and what you described in Montana sounds lovely i keep dreaming of finding a place on the lake or in the mountains where we would have loved to have lived and if I could ever afford it I would go but trust your instincts and keep dreaming about it take care

Jess I am so sorry about the unexpected news of hearing this honor/award for your husband at work Very nice of your company to follow through with this I understand how it brings it all back , they should be here to accepted the award we should be there beaming with pride at all the great things they did , and for people acknowledging their accomplishments just makes it bring up all emotions to the front . Keeping treading through and it sounds without a doubt your husband deserves to be on the hall of heroes take care

I am just over a year from losing my don and I still can't believe it I have lots of pictures around of him and they make me smile but... the second I really think hes not coming back, its like a tornado in the pit of my stomach pulling me down I still feel very married despite what the world thinks , I will always be his wife just wish it was easier for all of us

hi brandy , so sorry you are here but glad you found a place to come and post slowly crawling through this shitty life is something we understand , don't like it but understand it and those burst of crying , yup know that also take care

Happy birthday hope you got to enjoy the day as well as you could take care

thank you so much for sharing that and yes she should be here but glad you were able to have these memories with your son today take care