donswife

sending you strength ! good luck this sounds so stressful sorry you don't have a safe place to vent this frustration

Jeangenie ....so funny I was watching you got mail at my Mom's house sleepless in seattle was in first(man what a different perspective watching it now ) then I came home to get my taxes in order ...yup wild times

sending you a hug I hope in your mind and heart you know you did everything you could sounds impossible I know but this is my wish for you take care

yes miss this so much! even just the funny comments we would make back and forth its amazing how much we would just talk about everything and nothing I will check out the chat room more often

so true ...miss that

ok so this time next week I am turning 50 should just be another day or even just another birthday but this one is magnifying everything that I am missing and everything I will never have I am usually a person who can figure out what I need to do to get through these awful days but this one has me frozen MyDon would have made such a big deal about the "big day" but I just want it to disappear its when the next part of your life should be beginning Don is supposed to be here ,getting old together and now I'm getting old alone I thought this was the best place to tell my feelings and would have fellow wids who understood plain and simple this just sucks

she could try and contacting local hospital mine had a few support groups that deal with cancer and their caretakers

I am so sorry ,..

I'm in ! sounds like a great hike

yes thanks Donna and drew It was great to see everyone and meeting new people looking forward to the next one !

MrsDan - hope you made it through the storm fuck that I have to buy tires for my car and it's like a different language when talking to tire salesman fuck that mydon did this for me all our lives and I don't have a clue fuck that brings back all the many reasons I miss him

I do a lot of angry vacuuming , does that count very impressed with all the window washing , may try angry window washing next time

I agree with forgottenwife I cry almost every time I go to my therapist It should be the safest place you go and feel/talk about anything my therapist is more of a grief counselor so maybe look for someone who specializes in grief ?

I am glad you will be celebrating his birthday I love what you wrote about him and it sounds like the world is missing a wonderful man with you missing him most of all Sounds like someone MyDon would have been friends with I hope you feel a little of him on this day and it brings you more of a smile then sadness take care

[quote author=fuchsiasky link=topic=2093.msg25270#msg25270 date=145625976 I worry about this lack of hope because I feel like it is giving me a lack of movement in all of this. I guess it doesn't feel like it has been a short time. I guess 4 months is. I can't imagine being like this for a year or more. But I know I will be. That's hard to accept. Its hard to live when you can't find reasons to do so. My reason is my daughter. I let myself get dragged along with her life. Its better than nothing. I know 4 months feels like a long time and to wait longer for hope must seem to far away but for now you have to take it easy on yourself ,I know easier said then done It is so hard just to get through the day but you are doing that so good for you I remember being on auto pilot at the beginning and then at times utter panic with all the details and decisions needed to be made Take a deep breath and try to be kind to yourself

good luck to your daughter on her auditon I liked hearing that you are tryiing to get out there and enjoy your life but also knowing how much you love your wife and still feel forever married I am not on the same time line (year and 5 months) but I always like to see what lies ahead take care

thanks Maureen , jeez this is hard enough without worrying about scammers I have always been a bit to trusting so this really helps I am not ready for online dating yet but always appreciate you all letting me know what lies ahead thanks again !

I noticed fellow wids keep mentioning scammers what exactly does that mean ?

I am so sorry that happened to you on a day that could have been so nice with the new desks I haven't had my keys stolen but I have had those feeling of feeling very vulnerable and afraid and it so brings up the loss of the men who used to protect us then leading us to the loneliness I hope the rest of the day and night got better

I am so sorry for your cousin and her family Knowing what lies ahead for them is heartbreaking to say the least wish I had more to say

have we picked a time to meet up at the manor ?

yup yesterday was hard , sundays are hard enough It was of course our favorite day to just hang out ,so add the valentine thing makes it even harder , glad its over

Amor- I have been feeling this way also couldn't figure out why i have felt so out of sorts recently and what you wrote made it crystal clear I tend to get outta town when I know things are going to be especially tough on me I think its a way of being away from our home and like you said, where he isn't there waiting for me when you find the answers please let me know take care

I can so relate to both of you My don was such a type A and he loved every minute of it, me not so much at times then I was the color outside the lines kinda girl and we balanced each other out so well I miss all of it , like you said we miss the man that would just get it done Him yelling at contractors as I offered coffee, yup good cop ,bad cop being taken care of is what I miss the most He knew how to just stop the madness of life and just one of those hugs would solve everything like BrokenHeart2 said we just got each other and OMG I miss him and us thanks for this post

1.My god daughter (and neice)is in labor as we speak an will have her baby boy by lunchtime 2.enjoyed the snow day yesterday 3. My Mom is having more good days then bad lately