SimiRed

AprilRain, I am so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the group none of us really wanted to belong to. I read every word you wrote and the responses from others. I pray the words of others help lessen the guilt for you. "Hugs"

Hugs, I'm approaching 7 years too and it some days it feels like just yesterday. Today I sat and read my journaling from his last days, I read from May through today's date and yep...didn't have enough tissues. Our spouses will always be missed, no matter how many years go by. Lots of cyber hugs!

Not stupid at all! So proud of you for taking that big huge step in a direction that helps you overcome lots of thoughts and feelings! Hugs!

Rob, so proud of you for taking that huge difficult step to reach out. I am so overjoyed with the response that you received from your friends! Thank you for showing your vulnerability with how difficult it is to step out of our comfort zones. All we need to do is take the chance, outside our "comfort zone" could be the thing we least expect but the thing we need the most.

Hugs, Jen! Junior year for my son this year and all the college searching stuff and what he wants to do is mind boggling! I really wish his Dad was here to help out with all these decisions!

Ugh, Rob! So sorry! I would think it would be a courtesy to let you know what happened and that she would no longer be available to help out. Hopefully you will find a solution and everything will work out for the best!

Yes, I do all of this. I climb the ladder to clean the gutters, fix the lawnmower when the thing breaks, change my own oil or flat tire, I am in my own home now after a long journey of getting here. Independent, of course, but I do find myself questioning how much I can do. How long can I run the weed eater that is killing my shoulders and back, fix the silly broken stuff around the house. I've learned to feel good about being able to accomplish these things, but it doesn't mean that I want to do these things. Like Trying said, we do it out of necessity, or just to prove to ourselves that we can. Some days I'm so proud of what I have achieved and accomplished and then there are those days where I feel so dang lost!

Serpico..Congrats! That is an AWESOME photo!!!

Congratulations!!!! Gorgeous family photos!

Hugs Maureen! So glad that this is behind you and you are on your way to the East Coast! Have a safe trip!

{{{Hugs}}} You have so much going on and the emotional stress and anxiety is just overwhelming at times. I have no clue what is wrong with children nowadays, sending that hurtful text is just down right nasty! It would have taken everything within me to not respond! It hurts and ticks us off when someone is nasty to our children! Hang in there, by this Fall, hopefully some of the stress will be less and you will be feeling much better! I'll help Sugarbell egg the kids house! With pleasure!

Congrats MrsT85!!! Gorgeous photo and such happy smiles!!

Hugs! Just want to send you hugs and warm wishes.

Beautiful!!

Sounds like you have an amazing son!! And you are doing a good job, Mom!!

Congrats on passing round one!!

Needytoo, Having good friends definitely add to your happiness, but that is not the only ingredient. Lots of things make you who you are, brings you happiness and a sense of completeness. Focusing on yourself will make you happy from within, and the right people will be drawn to you. You will do great at the women's retreat solo! And if it's not everything you expected it to be, well...then you did it, and be proud of yourself for "stepping out of the comfort zone" and doing it on your own. That's a great big first step to many new adventures. You'll enjoy hiking, you'll love the outdoors and the serenity that it brings you. I will say that my biggest support system has been others from this site, others who have listened to me, understood me and have taken the time out of their day to send me messages of hope and inspiration. These are the "trusting friends" that have understood me better than the friends that are physically in my presence. Real friends believe in you, and those surrounded by us here believe in us and support us because they understand us much better. Have a wonderful day today! Embrace the peaceful solitude and the fresh air! Sure, you'll get anxious doing things alone, but show yourself you are strong enough and good enough to stand on your own two feet! It will give you the opportunity to discover who you really are and it will strengthen your self-sufficiency and slowly that co-dependent side will fade. I'm proud of you!! Yes, it will be a perfect day today!!

{{HUGS}} It hurts, I know. I don't have many friends either, and most have just completely forgotten me. But, that's okay. I had a friend show up in my new home in October last year, texted me, talked to me, even called me. Then, "poof"..I have no clue what happened. I texted her, no response, I called, no response. Even sent a Merry Christmas text, birthday card, etc...and NOTHING. Well, I've learned a lot in this past year. Yep, co-dependent is no fun. I won't live like that. I have learned to sit on my front porch in pure happiness with everything that I have accomplished in this past year. I am a good person, I am special, I am fun and I am HAPPY. The best I've felt in a long time. Why? Because I decided I don't need someone to make me happy, I need to be happy with myself. Go to the women's retreat by yourself, it's okay! I've done things on my own and found that I love hiking trails with my ear buds in, I can stop and enjoy the view...stop and smell the flowers without thinking about another person. Trust me, It was one heck of a hard road getting here. Harder than Hard...but, I'm here and I'm staying here. No one will ever be happy with me if I'm not happy with myself. I don't need anyone to make me happy, I can do that on my own. “Don’t agree to do anything unless you can do it by yourself”. Perfectly said...and enjoy anything you do at your own pace without trying to please anyone that you are with, because then, you won't really enjoy it anyway.

{{{HUGS}}}

My late husband wasn't a "love at first sight" for me. I knew him young, he was quiet but quite witty and intellectual. He grew on me, we fell in love with each other over time, we were friends...and the attraction just kept growing more and more. Look for someone who makes you feel special, someone you can trust, common values and life goals. Sure, go on another date with him, if you want to get to know this person better. I don't think you'd know on date number one whether he's "The One" or not. Ask yourself what you "expected" to feel? Maybe you were nervous and that is all you could feel, or you were too focused on waiting for a "chemistry" feeling? I agree with Portside, give it one or two more dates and re-evaluate from there.

{{Hugs}} So sorry for your loss, so sad.

Cancer does suck!! {{Hugs}}

{{HUGS}}

I'm so sorry, Maureen :'( So sad, and heartwrenching.

Good luck CW! I get the trust issues, that's what I'm afraid I'd do...I'd machine gun the poor guy with a bazillion questions! Probably all the wrong ones!