Virgo

Thank you! That's a lot of milestones in 3 years. My middle daughter is a freshman, and my youngest daughter is a 4th grader.

My oldest daughter is graduating high school this year. Hard to believe my baby is graduating. Honors diploma, I'm so proud of her. Of course we all know every milestone is bittersweet. How will I make it through graduation? If my in laws go they will be emotional too. My daughter is graduating from the same high school her father did. I was at his graduation. I suppose I will just be present, as I always am for my girls. Proud, but sad that their dad is missing it. I made it through prom dress shopping without tearing up. It was a fun day! I've been dragging my feet planning her graduation party. I need to get motivated! We've discussed doing her party a little more informal and nontraditional. We're going to get bounce houses and inflatable water slides. Have a bonfire and Smores. She's excited!

I'm 41, widowed at 39. When people ask me to describe the first year compared to the second year I always say that I felt numb, robotic. I have three daughters. At the time they were 14, 12, and 6. I functioned for them and their basic needs. The second year was acceptance. Our lives without him.

The few dreams I've had were also sad. There's always something stopping us from being together, or tears us apart when we do end up together. Almost like losing him all over again. I see it as the constant inner struggle. We want them back, but even in our dreams we know it's impossible.

He would want you to be happy. I think we all know that even if we didn't get to hear them say those words to us. Phil told me at his lowest point in treatment "you'll make some lucky guy an amazing wife. " I said, "I already do." I wasn't ready to hear that then, but now I see it as a gift. He was an amazing man. It's still hard for me to imagine loving and being loved by a guy as amazing as Phil.

Hugs to you Viva. My 3 years was February 4th. I'm struggling right now with the "forced to be single" life too. I miss him and being half of a couple.

Beautiful post Maureen ((hugs)) My 3 years was February 4th and his birthday was January 28th. He died one week after his 39th birthday.

Last night I stayed home with my daughters. We watched 80s movies and then the Blackhawks game. I went out on my own Friday night.

It's telling me my file is to large. I have an S7. Suggestions?

I have taken a few breaks from dating. It gets overwhelming sometimes. Quantity over quality when what I want is quality! If that makes sense.

How do I upload a picture?

Thank you! I love it!

Watching the Blackhawks game with my leg propped up. My tattoo is a little swollen. I should be cleaning. Today is Phil's death date, 3 years. I haven't been down, but I'm not motivated to do anything or go anywhere.

Last night I got my memorial tattoo. It was so unbelievably therapeutic. Today marks 3 years. I'm not sure if I'm just feeling overly emotional, but I'm considering taking a break from dating.

I'm finally getting my memorial tattoo tonight. My daughters and I decided awhile ago what tattoo we would like to have to remember him by. My daughters are all under 18, so it will be awhile before they get theirs if they choose to. It's actually one of his tattoos, perfect. It's going to be a fleur-de-lis with our 5 birthstones in it. Of course ours will be smaller and more feminine. I'm also getting Just Breathe in script. He played the song Just Breathe, by Pearl Jam for me during the only moment we lost hope. The date is significant too. On February 3, 2014 he coded around the time I will be getting my tattoo. He was taken off life support the 4th. It's going to be an emotional evening. I'm excited, but nervous.

I have received friend requests from widowers, but I never accept them.

Gee, the only thing I got from Facebook was a bunch of phony friend requests once it went out that I was newly widowed! I wish you well! Thank you! Mine are all friends, or friends with mutual friends. Bachelor #1 is a LEO in my city, and Bachelor #2 was an LEO that worked for the same PD as my LH. Most of the men who contact me are policemen, firemen, dispatchers, or high school classmates.

I'm not online dating, but most of my dates contact me through Facebook. Probably poor timing for the two I'm talking to. Bachelor #1 separated from his wife in October. It was just finalized a few weeks ago. Bachelor #2 recently ended an 8 month relationship. I enjoy talking to both. I have been out with Bachelor #1 a few times. That's my update. We'll see.

I miss spooning and waking up next to my love.

It could be grief, but it could also be just your daughter testing her boundaries. Normal for kids to do throughout their childhood. I have 3 daughters, and mine seem to have a behavioral/emotional phase every 3 years! This year they'll be 18, 15, and 9. Lord help me!! All 3 at the 3rd year mark. My youngest is being very defiant. 9 was the worst so far for all 3 of my girls! I think it's partially hormonal. My older 2 started their menstrual cycles around their 12th birthday. At 8/9 you'll notice breast development, body odor, changes in mood, and public hair. I hope that doesn't seem like to much information. We're a house full of girls, so very open.

It's like high school. Breaking up and getting back together. I don't understand that. To me they're settling while hoping it will get better. I'm not going to settle or be settled for. Moving on....

My drive has always been the same...overdrive! A month was very difficult for me. It's good that you desire him!

It had been over a month for me. To long! I ideally want an exclusive relationship, but until then... I hope you get that connection this weekend Arneal!

I caved and met up with my fwb last night. No regrets!

That's his decision to make, but I think it's just a matter of time. He has to see it.