Virgo

My oldest daughter is going to be 16 in May. I'm not even sure how we got on the topic of her birthday, but I mentioned having a party for her and she got upset. She is adamant against having a party. She isn't what you would call a social butterfly, but I thought she would be excited about a Sweet 16 party. Having family and friends over, lots of food, music, all at home. Her main fear is being the center of attention and people mentioning her dad's absence throughout the whole party. I'm worried that she'll look back and regret not having a party. Especially when we celebrate her both of her sisters Sweet 16 parties. I guess my question is, should I try to persuade her to have a party? Drop it? Just go ahead without her approval? I'm disappointed, but I'm leaning toward just immediate family as she requested. I don't want to force her to celebrate her birthday, but I don't think we should ignore it either.

What am I needing? Sex, lots of sex!

((Baylee))

((hugs)) I felt like the one year mark wouldn't be any different then any other day I had experienced the past year. That was the case for me. I miss him every day.

9/12 I guess today will be my rest day since I didn't get my yoga in.

I haven't marked anything off of my weekly list, but I did get a few things accomplished today. Plus a few small 'fix it' projects.

I think you need to share your taco recipe. My daughters and I have made little changes around the house. I would like to tackle larger projects as I can work them into our budget. It has helped us move forward (I suppose.) We always liked to entertain too. I continued to do the same this past year to keep things as normal as possible for my daughters. Keeping with our traditions made all of the holidays and special days bearable.

Everyone has different priorities. You made the right decision with your SUV. My dad has loaned out money to family since my mom passed away and it hasn't worked out well for him. Funny, he's been trying to give me money. He wants to help me and my daughters. I told him I wouldn't ask until I felt I really needed it. I would get rid of all of our extras before I borrowed money from anyone. None of the family members that borrowed from him gave up their extras. (cable, Netflix, or cell phones, alcohol, cigarettes)

Congratulations! That's great news!

My mom had ALS, so I know what you mean. I hated the way people treated her. Toward the end my dad and I were unable to take care of her needs, so we admitted her to a nursing home. It was a hard decision. The staff treated her like she was hearing impaired or mentally disabled. I repeatedly told them that she was well aware and could hear everything going on in her surroundings. ALS does sometimes affect hearing, but that wasn't the case with my mom. It did affect her speech, so it was very difficult communicating with her. If only she could have signed, but she also lost the movement in her arms and hands. The only movement she had left was a little in her neck and ankles. Awful disease! My husband said many times during his treatments that he felt blessed in comparison. My mom passed away just 3 months before my husband, 5 years after her first symptoms.

Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL), he was diagnosed in October 11, 2013 and died February 4, 2014. His first round of aggressive chemo was successful. All of his tests were coming up cancer free. We were so hopeful. Then they scheduled him for monthly treatments. His first treatment went well. When we went back for the second treatment they told us that his cancer was back and worse then before. He went in for his second round of aggressive chemo in January and never left the hospital. He celebrated his 39th birthday at the cancer center and died one week after. His cause of death was ischemic bowel, cancer, chemo. He was in extreme pain the day he died. It started at 1am, he had a CT at 11am (finally!), by 4pm I was begging the doctors and nurses to manage his pain. They brought in a pain pump, and he was finally resting comfortably and fell asleep. He never woke up. Our last words were "I love you" and "I love you too." He went into cardiac arrest just 3 hours after they gave him the pain pump. We made the decision to take him off life assisting machines at 6am because he wasn't showing any signs of improvement. I still wonder if the pain pump was set incorrectly. I question all of the doctors treating him that day in the ICU, and then his oncologist a few weeks after his death.

I went to the store, but just for a few things. My major grocery shopping will be done Friday or Saturday. Other then that and going to the gym I didn't mark anything else off of my list.

Great goals!! 3/9 back/biceps/abs/cardio 3/10 yoga 3/11 legs/shoulders/cardio My biceps are so sore! A good sore!

*fingers crossed* Good luck!

My mom died just three months before my husband. (ALS) She was 63. My dad hasn't dated. I don't think he's ready yet, but he is open to the idea. My paternal grandfather died when he was 39. My dad was 5 and had 4 siblings at the time. My husband was 39 when he died, and our youngest daughter was 6. One of my daughter's fears is that she will forget her dad. My dad tells her all of the time that he is 65 years old and he still remembers his dad. My grandmother had a few loves before she remarried. She had two more children with that husband, then they divorced. He died soon after their divorce. She remarried a third time and has been with him for over 20 years. My maternal grandfather died when I was 2. My grandmother never remarried. She was very bitter. They didn't have a good marriage. My uncle died when I was 10. My aunt was around 40 years old. She remarried.

Friend to my mil "Be thankful he lived for 39 years." Of course, but we wanted him to live another 50 or so. Friend to my daughter "I know how you feel. My dog just died." Not even close. I overheard my dad say to someone, "my son in-law passed away, but we weren't very close." Very hurtful. I haven't told my dad I overheard him.

My goals: weights at least 3 times a week cardio 4-5 times a week less sugar, more vegetables more sleep! I don't weigh myself. I have a goal waist size that I'm striving for.

List your goals and let's help each other with encouragement and accountability.

1. Took my dad out for his 65th birthday. 2. Video of the restaurant employees singing Happy Birthday to my dad, priceless. 3. 15yo built up again and broke down. I held her while we cried. The tension in the house feels lighter.

Family and friends just don't realize what an accomplishment that is some days. Just to get up and face the day. Lazy day for me too, but I needed one. It's nice once in awhile. I did manage to do some domestice duties, yoga, and I'm going out for dinner with my dad and daughters tonight. Goals for this week: schedule an appointment to get my taxes done (been on my list for awhile) schedule and appointment with my insurance agent take clothes to the resale shop get groceries

My youngest daughter talks about her dad the most right before bed and in the morning. I don't think it's a manipulation on her part. Those are the times that he was the most involved in her daily routine, so it makes sense that she thinks of him then. It's harder to differentiate between grief and normal teenage dramatics with my 15 and 13 year old daughters. Parenting is hard with two parents, and here we are doing it by ourselves!

Let's help keep each other motivated!!! Share your goals and accomplishments.

13 months out, and I just threw away his deodorant. I kept it for the comfort of his scent, but it dried out and no longer smelled like him.

Thank you! The background was my only complaint.