Virgo

I'm beginning to think my guy wasn't ready to date so soon after his break up. He's starting to pull back. He started seeing me less. He doesn't mention the next time he'll see me or what my plans are for the next day like he did before. We talked about it last Saturday when we were together. He said he's just overwhelmed with everything right now. Dealing with the ex girlfriend dropping by, end of the month inventory and taxes at work, long hours, possible plant transfer or new job, his new house, finances on his own, domestic duties on his own, etc. He said it probably sounds like a lot of excuses not to see you, but it's not. I always want to see you. We talked about being exclusive and more than likely just seeing each other on the weekends for now. Great talk! Yesterday I asked him if we were getting together today. He said he wasn't feeling well. If he felt as bad today he wasn't going to see me. I just felt like he brushed me off all week as far as seeing me. After we hung up I started thinking about it. I couldn't call him because I was on my way to my daughter's choir concert. I texted him...I feel like I'm back to where I was before our talk Saturday...confused. He said, "why's that?" I said, "You say you want to see me, but we never see each other. " He told me the same thing he did last Saturday. Overwhelmed, things are weighing on him. So, I've decided not to initiate. I'll let him come to me, or not. I'm trying to be patient, because maybe he us in a post break up funk and overwhelmed by everything, but I'm not going to wait forever. He's a great guy, so definitely worth waiting a bit to see.

I love seeing all of these beautiful smiles. Makes me smile. Thanks for sharing everyone!

Yes! Preparing for the worst, doubting, and over thinking. I haven't even shared about my new guy here yet because I figured it was to soon to be excited. It's better to be cautiously optimistic. We just passed 3 months. I will say that he's a great guy. Whenever I've had unjustified doubts, my own insecurities, he always shows me that they're just that...unjustified. It's just me over thinking. I'm trying to take it one day at a time and just enjoy his company, which I always do. By the way, the massages started right away with us.

I'm very close to my in-laws too. They're all coming to my house for Thanksgiving. I refer to them as my in-laws, my daughter's grandparents/aunts/uncles, or Phil's mom/dad/sister. It really depends on who I'm talking to.

My LH and I were the "get a room" couple. Not so much with kissing, but constant touching. I'm sure inappropriate touching to some. Of course while he was on duty he wouldn't kiss or touch me. He really didn't like for me to be seen with him in uniform, for my safety. NG and I just started dating, so I'm going with his PDA comfort level. We hold hands, touch while talking, and quick pecks.

I think holding hands comes into play when you have to feel that physical connection with someone. Especially in public when the physical connection needs to be more discreet. Other than my late husband I've only held hands with one of the guys I've dated. Happens to be the guy I'm dating now, and we haven't been dating long.

Thank you! I'm cautiously optimistic.

A little backstory for new wids. I haven't ventured into online dating unless Facebook counts. A lot of men contact me through Facebook. Back in May I decided to take a break from dating. It was just very underwhelming and unsatisfying. On my birthday, August 28th, I ran into a guy I graduated high school with at the gas station. I was airing my tires and glanced back at him. He looked familiar, but I just went back to airing my tires. Then I left. He messaged me on Facebook asking if I was just at the gas station airing my tires. Our conversation started from there. We met for lunch a few days later. We started meeting for lunch once a week, talking and texting daily, then seeing each other more often, evenings, etc. I'm an over thinker, so I'm trying really hard just to take it one day at a time. I really enjoy his company. He's a great guy. We're always laughing, both sarcastic. I feel really comfortable with him.

Good for you!!

I still hurt the most when I think long term. I thought "one day at a time" was lame advice, but it truly does help to think that way. Daily goals. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I need sex, but I want more than just sex. I feel like I'm wasting my life. I'm not fully enjoying it.

I can relate to a lot of what you said. I meet men fairly easily, but not the type I'm looking for. I want something more than a warm body too. I loved being half of a couple. Dating lately has been disappointing and discouraging. February will be 4 years for me. I feel like I'm wasting my young years and I'll be forever alone. I do feel blessed to have found true love with my late husband though. I know some people never do. Loneliness is a heartless bitch. 😔

Today is my birthday. My birthdays are harder for me than his. His birthday was 1/28. Mine is 8/28. I always teased him about being older, 7 months. He died one week after his 39th birthday. I was officially older than him 8 days after my 39th birthday. It's just hard for me to enjoy my birthday, but I'll put on a half fake smile for my daughters. They love celebrating my birthday. 😊

I agree...no filtering, no judgement. We should feel comfortable expressing our feelings here with others we know understand. That's why we joined Widda.

The topic was brought up once during his chemotherapy. He said, "you're going to make some lucky guy an amazing wife." I said, "I already do." I know it was his way of coping with the unknown, but I wasn't ready to hear it.

Oh, this made me laugh. Still does. (no disrespect) It's been nearly 8 years. Widowed almost 4 years. Not laughing. No disrespect.

We don't have speed dating available locally as far as I know. I'm ok taking a break, focusing on projects, but it doesn't take away the loneliness.

Still underwhelmed by the guys contacting me. Still on my break from dating. Still lonely. It has been 10 weeks.

jgib- These are the type of interactions with men lately that have underwhelmed me. If you have been texting for a year and haven't met in person you're an option, not a priority. If you enjoy talking with him I would leave it at that, friends. Just my opinion from what you've shared.

This Thursday will be 4 weeks since I've been on a date. I have to say that I'm enjoying my break. I thought I would be craving the physical contact, I normally do, but I'm not. I've been so underwhelmed by the men who contact me it makes it easy not to be tempted. I'm open to dating, don't get me wrong, but I want something more. Not sure what that looks like for me, but a step foward.

StillWidowed...that is why I'm on a break and enjoying it! Im not against some sexual bantering, but if that's the majority of the conversation I lose interest.

Most of you know that I haven't ventured into online dating, but I have been dating. I've decided to take another break. I'm just tired of feeling like the effort isn't equal. I feel like I give in sometimes just for the company, which obviously isn't fulfilling me. It's frustrating me instead.

Actually just listening to music brings me up. It would be hard to narrow it down to a few songs. Genre and artist depends on my mood. I'm loving the new albums by Papa Roach and Stone Sour right now. Next month I'm going to see Seether, Skillet, Puddle of Mudd, All That Remains, and Otherwise. I can't wait! I haven't been to a concert since Phil died. We loved going to concerts

I wore my ring maybe three times. It just hurt me more than it helped me. Everyone is different. It didn't comfort me at all. It was a constant reminder that I wasn't married anymore. I had my diamond solitaire set into a custom heart pendant. Now I wear it all of the time. The sentiment is the same, but it's different. Just like me. I started dating around a year and a half after my husband died.

I can't imagine going through a milestone like high school graduation in the first few months. All of the firsts were torturous enough. Thank you! We're starting to plan already.