Virgo

Saturday morning I headed to Indianapolis with acquaintances to celebrate my ex sil's 50th birthday. I rode with her friends. We participated in the 12 bars of Christmas Crawl. I had a great time! We stayed the night and came back this afternoon. New friends!

No set rules. I have had a few and each situation was different. They all changed over time. Communication is the key. Make sure you're on the same page. I never had a bad experience with mine. I remained friends with all three. Two of them talk to me almost daily. My first was a close friend. It was mainly to curb the "skin hunger." We never kissed, my rule with him. I can't really explain why. It's probably irrational, but I thought if we kissed it would ruin our friendship. Crazy. Right? I thought he would develop feelings for me and that's not what I wanted. We were only together a few times. He mentions sex once in awhile, but I decline. The second guy started out as dating, but it turned into a fwb. We're were together a handful of times. I lost interest. He still calls, but makes his intention clear. I decline. The third guy is my weakness! Lol He started out as fwb, but then we started dating off and on. Now he's texting me daily again. I think his feelings are heading towards a relationship. I enjoy his company. Very comfortable together, a lot in common, sex is amazing, yet I don't see us long term. I can't seem to cut him out of my life completely yet though. Honestly I'm trying to decide if it really could go somewhere, or if it's the sex that's drawing me back in. I have not had sex with him since August Just talking the past few months. I don't want fwb's anymore. I'm ready for something more.

"When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time. " Maya Angelou That's hard advice to follow. Actions speak louder than words yet we fall for their words first. I'm currently living this. NG said all the right things but his actions were the opposite. Nice guy, poor timing, and emotionally unavailable. I'm moving on. Since I stopped communicating with him four men have contacted me. Three on Facebook, which I think is funny. It's almost like a dating site. The fourth is a man who I dated from January to August, off and on fwb. I think he's wanting more. We have a lot in common, have a great time together, but I can't picture us long term. #1 and #2, not interested. #3 I agreed to get together with soon.

I think the longer you two are apart the more you're realize that you weren't good for each other from the start. Don't waste your time and energy on being mad at him. We can't control what another person does or says, but we can control how we react to it. Sorry it didn't work out! I've dated a few emotionally unavailable men, but I believe I was drawn to them because I was emotionally unavailable too. Now I think I'm ready for something more. Still taking it slow, one day at a time.

Last night I had plans to go out, but my friend had to cancel. I didn't want to go by myself. I ended up watching TV with my daughters instead.

Klim, I would just go with the flow and see where it goes. If you enjoyed his company why not go out again?

I feel the same insecurities, but I also remember feeling insecure in the beginning of my relationship with my late husband too. Love grows as the relationship gets stronger, and those insecurities will fade. What I try to remind myself of. My NG and I have only been dating a few months, so still getting to know each other. One day at a time.

Congratulations!

I didn't fall instantly in love with my late husband. I wasn't even attracted to him at first. I fell in love with him, his personality. That made him even more physically attractive to me. I'm seeing someone right now. Almost the same situation. I would have never chose him out of a crowd as far as physical appearance. We've known each other a long time. I've never looked at him romantically. Circumstances put us together and we just clicked. We're very comfortable with each other, and enjoying each other's company. Could it be love? I don't know. I'm open to the idea of falling in love again even though it's hard to imagine loving another man as deeply as I loved my late husband.

I love fall. Phil and I got married October 22. We love the crisp, cool air. Ironically on our wedding day it was unseasonably warm, 83 degrees! Lol Every fall we made our annual trip to the Apple Orchard for apples and pumpkins. In October we always had a Halloween party for our daughters. I haven't done either since he died, but I'm going to this year. My girls have been talking about it a lot lately. I think we're ready.

Our three daughters milestones of course, or anything family related. His niece just had her first baby. His sister moved back to Indiana. To the simple things like finishing a few TV series we started together, or new movie releases. Deadpool comes to mind because when we saw his character in an X-men movie we both agreed he needed his own movie. Right now he would be extremely excited about his Minnesota Vikings being undefeated!

What about having a friend set you up?

Mentioning herpes in your profile? Wow! He should be honest and forth coming when intimacy is discussed, not in his profile! My guy and I are still talking and seeing each other almost daily. It still feels very comfortable. Earlier today we went shopping for items for his new house. Tonight we're going out.

I get, "you smell good" a lot. One time at the gas pump. "I can smell you from over here, yum." Ok? Comments about my curly hair too, but that's not as weird to me.

Very true Arneal, people will talk. Well, we were together Wednesday, Friday, Sunday, yesterday, and today! There's just a mutual feeling of comfort and connection. It's nice. We did talk about the potential awkwardness, especially for him, if this turned out to be more than friendship. After talking we both agreed that we wanted to see where it was going.

Needytoo, I bet he was assuming that you were just looking for a guy to fix things around the house. His response was a very rude, immature, overreaction though. Delete...next!! I'm not online dating, but wanted to share that I have a date tonight. This was very unexpected! Long story short, I've been dating two guys off and on. I decided to take a two week break from both, and have. I recently had to buy a new dishwasher. There was an issue with the outlet. I asked a friend, former electrician, if he could help me. Last Sunday he said he would drop by, but he bailed. I haven't heard from him since, not surprised. Another friend, also a former electrician, offered to look at it. He came by Wednesday and fixed it. He mentioned that he got a divorce last October. I had no idea. Obviously it had been awhile since we had talked. I had plans that evening to see live music at a local bar. I messaged him from the bar that I would have to take him out sometime for drinks. He asked when. I mentioned that I usually have Wednesday and Friday evenings to myself. In fact, I was out now. Anyway, he ended up dropping by. We had a great time. He said he should personally thank the installer for messing with the dishwasher outlet, and the guy that bailed on me. Then he asked me if I wanted to go out Friday. We did! Now we're going out again tonight. It's unexpected because I have known him for a long time. I've never really thought about him this way. He's not the type of guy I would normally be attracted to, but he's a great guy. For those of you that don't know, my LH was a K9 officer. NG is a detective at the same police department. Right now we are just two people enjoying each other's company. If we start dating the fact that he works for the same PD might make things awkward. Especially for him. Side note: he told me about his Match experiences, hilarious!!

I don't think you should feel like an ass at all. You know what you want. Nothing wrong with that. You've told him how you feel, so it's up to him to decide if he is comfortable with a FWB's situation or not.

It is definitely bittersweet and highlights who is missing. My senior broke down the night before and said, "this is my last first day of high school and he missed it." After I tucked my youngest in the night before I could hear her through the door telling her dad all about her new school and teacher. I cried.

My 17 year old is a senior. My 14 year old is a freshman. My 9 year old is a 4th grader. My 14 year old and 9 year old are going to be in new buildings. In our district elementary is K-3rd. The intermediate school is 4th and 5th. 6th -8th is middle school. 9th-12th is high school. My 17 year old and I have already cried thinking about her graduation. My 14 year old and 9 year old mentioned their dad not being here to see them move up to the next school. I honestly don't see the milestones ever getting easier. Graduations, weddings, grandchildren.

I think it really depends on your kids. I was open about dating in the beginning with my daughters, but quickly found that it was disrupting our family dynamic. All three of my daughters acted out and had behavioral issues. Then I started keeping it to myself. When I had time to myself I just said, "I enjoyed my time." I never said that I was out with anyone. Our family dynamic went back to normal almost immediately. They just weren't ready. Now I'm starting to share a little more and there haven't been any behavioral changes.

All of my daughters forms already have me listed as the sole parent and my husband deceased. Still stings seeing it in print every year.

I encourage my teens to go to bed earlier and get up earlier a few days before they go back. I figure they're old enough to deal with the consequences if they decide not to. My 9 year old doesn't get a choice. My daughters start Wednesday. Here's what our summer schedule has been like... 11pm-1pm getting up, 2am-4am going to bed. Our school schedule is 6am-7am getting up, 9pm-12am going to bed. It's going to be a rough week! I'm glad they only have 3 days this week.

I can understand seeking out similar qualities in a new relationship. Just like we know what qualities we don't want in a new relationship. It's not about replacing them. It's about finding someone that is just as compatible and makes you happy. I feel blessed to have had that type of love and relationship with my late husband. I hope I find it again. I definitely won't settle for less!

I was only with my husband. We met when we were 16/17. Married 19 years, together 22. I think being intimate with another person is different for everyone. I wondered if I would cry, or just shut down. Neither happened during the moment. I did cry afterwards. It's a lot of different emotions all at once. I think just like with everything else, it's a part of the grieving process. Taking steps forward. I never thought I would be in this situation. Dating at 40. I had my life partner. Now I'm alone, single mom of 3. Dating can be fun, but frustrating too. It definitely makes me appreciate the relationship I had with my husband even more. If I never love as deeply again I will always feel blessed that I had him, his love. Some people never find that kind of love.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My mom died just 3 months before my husband. She was 62. She had ALS, so it wasn't unexpected, but it still hurts. It doesn't matter how old they are, the circumstances, how old we are, it still hurts. Prayers of strength for your family.