RobFTC

I have always had my status in my dating profile. I had someone not read that once, and I had to tell them on the first meeting, and hated it enough that I would probably always let people know no later than in a message prior to first meeting. Take care, Rob T

Oh - I am so sorry to hear about Pru. Big hugs, MS, this has to be hard. Take care, Rob T

Not quite a cult, maybe, but here's my brush with something like this. My Mom grew up in a church that was so sure of their own direct lineage to Jesus' original apostles that they had no name for themselves; in fact, a charlatan in Ontario in the 1860s made the whole part up. Nominally Christian, nobody going to any other kind of church is pure enough, and people who leave are lesser. My Grandma worried that if she didn't beat her kids to make them pure, she'd go to hell. I don't think my Mom believed her Mom loved her (but she very much knew her Dad did). My Mom had scars, and I wish she could have talked to counselors to deal with it; that was more true late in her life due to other events. It turned her into a rabid athiest (quelle surprise!), and forever complicated her relationship will all of her family, who were almost all hard-wired to that faith. Her self-confidence was always lower than it should have been. That background did supply some rich humour, whenever we saw some of the idiot televangelists' sillier actions :-) Gracelet, to you I would say - you need to understand how she sees herself in relation to the cult, what connection she has to her family, what she believes now, and what she's done to get where she is now. You need to know that she is mentally healthy for the most part, and working on what's left, if anything. Her sexuality could be complicated by it, too (I'm sure that would *never* occur to you LOL!) If she's come out with a world-view compatible with your own, this could be just a colourful detail from her past and a source of good jokes. Take care, Rob T

Your Mom should not have involved your daughter. And mentioning her therapist seems like borrowing authority. But if you're not telling your son something material about his life, how is he going to feel if he finds out from someone else first? I expect that would erode his trust in you. Take care, Rob T

I am in for about another half-hour - waiting for a build while listening to great music :-) Take care, Rob T

You go, girl! Here, look at yourself in the mirror - oh snap, wait, I have to get the funhouse mirror because you are standing so freaking tall we can't even see all of you without it :-) Even now, there is no reason to listen to one more word that man says, none. You can make it through the court proceedings. You may cry, but that's just because you are the one with the working heart! You can prevail. And a glitch won't matter if it happens, you're gone! Take care, Rob T

I have "do not disturb" hours set on my iPhone - shut the hell up between 10pm and 6am, thanks - all texts and calls are silent and ignored unless I care to look at the screen. I think there's a way for certain numbers to punch through that (think kids out late). I won't be kept awake by a device, that's for sure, and it will never get the chance to be heard when I am making love! :-) Take care, Rob T

You'd be an awesome addition, HM! ;D Take care, Rob T

I Googled a woman once, and I think only once. This was the woman who talked about how her serious illness affected her life on our first date, but failed to mention that she'd lost both legs below the knee to it. I found that out on the TV news (!) some time later. I could get over that, but disclosure of what parts came off when she undressed would have been kinda nice. (Her online dating profile has never mentioned that detail, and has pre-amputation pics, too.) Per Google, there were a couple of complaints out there of people who'd paid her consultant fees and not received anything for it. The third strike was that she was unhappy about her ex-husband driving by her place, but admitted that she sometimes hung out in the park outside his house when it was his turn with their daughters. Double standard much? Bye! Take care,

Bwa ha ha! Take care, Rob T

I got back late Wednesday night from 10 days away. It was glorious - I may have to do it a lot more often! We flew into Seattle, and got to meet a set of local wids for dinner (that was fun, folks!). We stayed two nights downtown, with much walking (especially by me). We then drove around the Sound to head over to Port Angeles to get a ferry over to downtown Victoria BC. Two more nights in Victoria, with much walking (especially by me). We then headed to Vancouver for three more nights, with much walking (especially by me). In Vancouver, I got to wander around Stanley Park with another wid (hugs, S!). One more night in Bellingham, where I could still get the CBC, and we finally headed back to Seattle and home. It was all good. It's tough to pick out a favorite thing. Enjoying Pirosky Pirosky pastries at the park near the Pike Place Market (try the rhubarb!)? The EMP Museum? Both ferries? Butchart Gardens? The Royal BC Museum? Eating wild blackberries on the side of the road in Sooke? The view and fireworks from our ridiculously great hotel room in Vancouver? The frequent jokes about us having to move up if Trump becomes president? All good. But my blood pressure going down - I am going to call that Da Bomb. Means I have to do this more often, right? Take care, Rob T

Bumpity! I am around for awhile if anyone is up for chat. If not, I will just write about my vacation. Take care, Rob T

Things are going well. I managed to dump one before my trip, without quite intending to. The phone conversation was like this: Me: I have some concerns after looking at your Facebook page. Her: You're dumping me because of my Facebook page? Me: Well, more concerns I wanted us to think about and talk about. Her: Don't you think you should get to know me instead of dumping me over my Facebook page? Me: Again, not my intent to dump you over this, more to talk. Her: I guess if you want, you can dump me over my Facebook page. Me: Yeah, it's sad but I guess I have to dump you over your Facebook page, best of luck! A man can only try to clarify so many times. Radio silence on the others, no news means no issues :-) I hope Mr. OK is ... OK, SunshineFL! Take care, Rob T

I think Trump disqualifies himself every time he opens his mouth. And that's all I'm gonna say about that! :-) Take care, Rob T

I think there are more differences in each service regionally than between free and paid services, e.g. I don't hear about nearly so many liars and horndogs on POF here than people report in some other places. Aside from OKCupid having an extraordinarily high number of women listing themselves as bisexual nationwide, a lot is regional. It's a numbers game, and you need to go where the people are and apply the right filters. I am on match.com, which I do think has the most active people, and a lot are good. POF has a lot of people here, too. OKCupid has way fewer people, but paradoxically I used to meet more people on OKC than match.com. In July, I met two women through POF and two through match.com. One match.com woman said "no thanks" after two dates, I said that to another from POF after three dates, and the other two are in play with the other match.com in the lead. Not taking anything to the bank yet. Take care, Rob T

Another factor I know I have heard of is insurers basing part of their premiums on your credit rating - and we know how credit ratings sometimes take a hit after loss of a spouse. Insurance sucks. Take care, Rob T

Cool! A and Tracy, we get in on Monday the 27th and will be staying an easy walk from Pike Place Market, and we check out of the hotel on the 29th to head up to Victoria. So the only uncompromised day is Tuesday the 28th. It'd be fun to meet for dinner or after if that evening works for you. I will send a PM with contact deets. Take care, Rob T

Serious committed relationship + strictly non-monogamous? What's he got in mind, MTK, a harem? :-) I catch myself in harem fantasies every so often, and then I remember how much energy it takes to maintain just ONE good relationship. Take care, Rob T

I do sometimes wonder what actual amputees think of these musings. But I do think there are some parallels. It seems like I will adjust to not having Michelle here, but that it will never feel normal. And maybe I will manage to get someone else to be with, like a prosthesis, but there will still be that phantom sensation, and pain sometimes. I hope I get a great prosthesis. Not sure if I want the serious cosmetic match or a high-tech model that's visible for all to see :-) Take care, Rob T

It's a red-letter day when I get a "thanks but no thanks" from a woman. The impression of The Abyss is far, far more common. I think I get more "sure, let's talk" responses than polite refusals, and I think I have only had a woman use the "No Thanks" button at the bottom of *every* match.com message just three times. I'd recommend just thinking about no response as the way people pronounce "No thanks" on the Interwebz. I try to respond to every multi-word message I get from a woman (omitting "hi" and their ilk if I don't see a match), but I don't hold myself to perfection here. Take care, Rob T

I have grumbles to match. On the weekend, two women "liked" me on match, and the second one initiated an e-mail as well. I contacted the first who seemed interested in meeting and suggested a time, crickets since Friday. The second one was just yesterday afternoon, so it's too early to call crickets, but I feel like I know what to expect. I don't understand why people just stop. An analogy I have used before is people talking on the phone and then wandering off without bothering to hang up. Take care, Rob T

Maybe that's your answer, SB - maybe spending on the kids should be throttled a bit and discussed in advance. No issue with that. I figure that he's giving of what he had more of, and you're not nuts to be trying to give him something - it should be like that. Maybe not including cleaning the toilets :-) Take care, Rob T

We had no invitations for anything related to the 4th. But on the other hand, the girls and I have not been making invitations to anyone for anything for some time. If we want friends, we have to act like it at some point. I lost my social coordinator, and I hate taking on that role, but I have had four years to get over that and haven't. It's not a strong suit for my girls, either. If your loss is recent, it's OK not to try to connect socially. But after awhile, that costs and hurts too. Take care, Rob T

Congratulations and best wishes, Mel! Take care, Rob T

Cool! Take care, Rob T