Baylee627

Hidy there, welcome! Baylee

Yup, eye roll. I'm not a parent, so I'm definitely of no repute on that subject, but I will say it gets super vexing to listen to the drivel and droning from both SAHM'S and working mothers. Both "sides" seem so imperious and touchy, and I find it plain catty and disrespectful. Why is it up for debate how you decide (or circumstances dictate) to raise your child? How about mommas just decide to each "keep their eyes on their own paper"! And would it kill them to be gracious and support each other? Anyway, my complaint: listening to the endless, vapid non-problems of those around me. Know your audience. If you're worried how your new poolside, outdoor kitchen and bathroom construction is going to coincide with yet another a Disney trip being planned...yeah, I'm probably not your girl. Baylee

Lounging poolside! Frosted beverage in hand! Choice of vacay? 7 night Caribbean cruise, featuring three gorgeous ports-of-call --or-- All inclusive resort package in one tropical locale for the week?

Sometimes those feelings must find a release valve. Meltdowns feel like a volcanic eruption of emotions, but they do possess a cleansing after - effect once they've quelled. And as for witnessing bystanders, let them watch! I think too many people walk around behind facades--some of which are transparent, while others are elaborate. I have always admired authenticity. But never more so than I do now, in widowhood. So you go ahead and let it all out, AW. Hugs and hand pats, Baylee

^^^Impish lil Bear! ;D Baylee

I am muy impressed with your resolve and you having already burned through one heck of a daunting checklist this speedily. Your decision is not for the fainthearted. But it's for the determined- hearted: determined not to live in despair and defeat, determined that your situation was untenable (to put it mildly), and determined that you deserve to be loved unabashedly and it be a love that is pure and healing, a balm to your wounds. Those determinations are going to be hard-won (due to the grueling nature of getting divorced), but it will be worth it. In this case, SR, I can say that with confidence: it will be worth the turmoil and upheaval. One day in the future, you're going to be washing up the dishes or folding laundry (or, insert mundane task here), and it will occur to you...I'm ok. No, not just ok, I'm better than I was. I'm...(smile tugging at the corners of your mouth)...happy. When? I don't know the timing. But, that moment's gonna come. Watch and see Baylee

That was lovely of your Mom to make a point of lunch with you on this day. I was thinking about you around 11:30 am my time, and sent up a quick prayer for you. Thanks for the update! Baylee

I gotta echo the sentiments above. I think what you've done is incredibly resilient. I just said a prayer for you that you experience unexpected lil kindnesses from above to help bolster you through your day. Post us back tomorrow and fill is in on how it went! Pulling for you, Baylee

You: gee, I dunno, Mom...what do you consider kinky?? (Insert wicked grin and arched eyebrow). Baylee

Eeee!! I love this thread idea! So! Here's the 4-1-1: There's Pumpkin Lola--half doxie, half beagle mix. She's the kindest creature--she loves everyone and everything. Very sensitive and is compelled to draw near to anyone showing signs of sadness. She's top dog because she's the eldest, at nine years old, and she sleeps in mah bed. Or, I sleep in hers...hmmm. Then, miss Anabelle Ole, she's my two year old, four pound chihuahua. She's white with butterscotch spots. She's a mommy's girl, territorial, but she will place both tiny paws on my face and peer in my eyes and give me puppy smooches. Lastly, there's Beignet Ladybird, AKA, Bennie and the Jets. A mini "Isabella" doxie, she's rambunctious, eager to please--about as eager as she is to teethe, because she's still in that stage of puppyhood. It's a good thing she's so cute, that's all I gotta say! Lol. That concludes my canine round-up, and a few lil quirks and characteristics of each. Baylee

Yes--without fail, while watching a movie on TV, I'll check the release date of the movie to check whether Brooks would have been alive or dead at that time. And either way, I will feel a pang in my heart. If it was before, I try and recall what he or we might have been doing at the time the movie came out. If it was after, I know he never got a chance to see it. Which, even Brooks, himself, would chuckle that he's damn glad to have missed out on yet another Lifetime movie. But, yeah, I know this phenomenon. Interesting thread topic. Baylee

You's play hardball! Warm chocolate brownie!! Okee dokee... How's about: Chicken pot pie --or-- Chicken and dumplings?

Now, why in hell did she post that??? What was her purpose? Like you needed a trigger. Baylee

Yes, easy to see how triggering this would be. I am so very sorry--for them, for you. Life can change in a heartbeat--or in the absence of one. And it's crushing to realize how fragile it all really is. Hugs to you, missy. Baylee

What in the world is going on here? We've got a bunch of precious widows (and now a widower) leaving or mulling over whether they should... Why is that? Admin and mods are trying very concertedly to make this a respite from the outside world, a safe place to express or vent. That's been the goal from the outset. Is there anything I can personally do to help alleviate concerns? You can post or PM me--or another mod or admin. I just know I care for you guys who have comforted/entertained me since DH passed. Baylee

Agreed. That's why reported posts are reviewed to determine just what's being attacked--another poster's opinions (perfectly ok), or is it personhood/character/religion/race/ethnicity/orientation.... Those are the ones I wont abide. But I think disagreements are a normal human interaction. Baylee

I couldn't find anything, either. But I will keep reviewing. That shit won't fly here. We all need a safe place to land. For me: If posters spar, fine. Disagreements happen. But verbal attacks won't be tolerated. Nuh-uh. But incidences must be reported in case we don't spy it first. Baylee

Could someone enlighten me? I won't countenance board drama if there is some occurring that I can see.... Baylee

The argument for not having the Philly cheese steak is??? I've never eaten one, either. And I'm like: what tha what?? I love meat. Lawd knows I love cheese. And yet the cheese steak and I have never made contact. Baylee

Time to call in a lawyer to see about getting your possessions returned to you. I reviewed a few of the separation procedures in NJ, and it seems that you can begin the process of separation without a formal legal separation. But it might be a good idea to allow a lawyer to draft a separation agreement so boundaries are committed to paper. Your erstwhile hubby should also keep in mind that NJ is an equitable property state. So being obstinate and disagreeable won't do him any good if, in the event, the divorce courts have to assume the task of asset and property division (premarital acquirement not included). From what I read, the court doesn't always divide 50/50 your assets and debts. It divides as it deems fair, whether he objects or not. Also, in NJ, if you fear for your safety, having suffered abuse, you are covered under the Domestic Violence Act. You can file a report with the court house in the county of your residence. Or, you can file for an order of restraint with the police, if need be. I know your head is swirling with enormous amounts of various emotions. It's gotta be. Although I sense you're unsure of just what next step to take on your path, I encourage you to meanwhile educate yourself on the laws of your state, and of what your rights are throughout this process (if you've not already). Consulting an attorney might be a good way to get an overview of those things while you are deliberating your next move. Knowledge is empowering and equipping. Bit by bit--remember: Rome wasn't built in one day. Onward, and upward, SR. Baylee

Here's to new beginnings, lcoxwell! You've made such great strides and it's been very uplifting to read about them. And now now forging ahead to a new chapter! May it be a blissful chapter! Baylee

Wakey, wakey, eggs and bac-ee! I like mah eggs scrambled with buttah and a smidgen of milk! French fries: Thin cut (like McDonald's) --or-- Steak fries??

Bite your tongue, missy! Don't you dare leave, JJ! Wid how you see fit. Next time someone comments, tell them: duly noted! So does this mean we can trade lives? Should I bring my own clothes, or are we trading wardrobes, too? I swear, I will clobber the next unfortunate soul who pipes up to express this disconcert or restlessness over MY grief. Their safety is not a guarantee, at this point. Baylee

JJ, Refrain from taking your grief inward. Instead, take it underground, to widda.org! Your post resonated with me, every word. I love the irony of a person motivating me--or even chiding me--to feel better from their cushy lil throne. I'm like: is your hubby dead? No? Children alive and flourishing? Yes? Then it's not possible for you to advise me. At all. Baylee

Fuck the fact that that sketchy-ass, triflin', nickel-bitch ex-husband of mine still roams the earth inspirating oxygen while my beautiful husband takes a dirt nap six feet under sod. Seriously, Fuck him. I hope *it* breaks out into incurable, weeping blisters courtesy of one of his side-hooches. Oh, and Fuck the fact that his new twenty-sumpin year old startlingly guileless wifey is preggo with a baby girl. (My husband desperately wanted to be a dad, and he was hoping for a daughter). Life is unfair as fuck. Yes ma'am, it is. Baylee