Baylee627

^^^Your MIL was out of her damn mind to think it, let alone express it. Just, yuck. Baylee

Two enthusiastic widda thumbs up! This article should be in pamphlet format and be disseminated to friends and family of the bereaved at visitations and funerals. Thank you, Kealoha, for sharing this. Baylee

Yup, I'm Lil Miss Worst-Case Scenario, now. I won't even bother wishin' on a star because that son-of-a-bitch would probably choose that very moment to fall straight from the firmament and land squarely onto my curly-haired head. Baylee

I think I recall there being a post on ywbb about the existence of professional cuddlers. You call the company, order up a cuddler for an a prearranged amount of time, and the company would dispatch the cuddler to your home, I think is how it went. Things that make ya go hmm hmm hmm...Lol! Baylee

This is an estimable decision on your part, putting yet another foot forward (Which can feel scary) on your journey. It is my hope that this move will be so fortuitous and personally rewarding that it will install further self-confidence in your forward momentum, (paced at your comfort level, most of all). I'm so proud for you!! Baylee

Thank you, HuffPost, and thank you, sphoc! Baylee

Pardon this brief interruption: This topic was moved from General Discussions to this section, as the topic pertains to being a parent/children. A poster noted to me that Mother's Day can be a sensitive subject to those wids without children (whom were hoping to have been parents). I concur. This is a great thread, and is a good fit for this section:) By all means, carry on! Baylee

This topic was moved to Young Widowed Parents.

I think you're already on target with not wanting her to be alone on that day. My two suggestions would be to bring over a meal for you to share with her, and to purchase a small, token gift to commemorate the day. It doesn't need to be extravagant. I think most grieving people appreciate something tangible they can hold onto. And I just admire the hell out of you for passing forward your empathy, and for the sensitivity you have retained from your own loss, which you are now bestowing onto this fellow griever. Baylee

I'm exceedingly sorry for the loss of this young man, this much - beloved brother of your Mark. It saddens me to hear of this. Twenty-six years old....breaks my heart. So many things I've yet to understand. Nor most likely ever will. You've my heartfelt condolences, RW. Baylee

I think it's typical for elderly or sickly folks to solicit promises (such as this one) to provide them added peace of mind before they die. Part of getting their "affairs in order". The SIL currently sounds toxic to your nuclear family--which, right now, is comprised of you and M. If the SIL still has subterfuge on her mind when your FIL passes, I wouldn't feel any obligation to encourage familial ties to your SIL. This is not a beneficial relationship for your daughter if it threatens or undermines your mother - daughter bond. Reassure your FIL for now. Reassess your decision at which time he passes. Best I can think of! Baylee

This lil gem, courtesy of my "bestie". File this under, #shitpeoplesaytowidows. "If I were you, I'd move to the beach--like maybe Hawaii-- and get a beach house and I'd spend my days working from my laptop, outside. That would be sooo nice. Wouldn't you love that?" Apparently, being widowed equates with having been freed up to live the life you've only ever dreamed about, at the beach. (Sneer). Baylee

Seasons of change-'-especially the ones you are currently confronting--have a way of throwing us off our center, feeling like we've missed a step. I think it's natural to find yourself transported back into acute grief for the time being. I'm sorry for your heavy heart, Precious Girl. Baylee

Insomniac, circa 2010, exacerbated massively by that bitch, widowhood. On two prescription medications that collaborate to produce sleep. Because my body sure the hell won't. You have my empathy. It's so defeating and maddening when you're body cannot--will not--do something it was designed to do. Days are endless because they are not demarcated by any particular Circadian rhythm; and you trudge through work and your daily routine, operating suboptimally in a haze of sleep deprivation. Like a hangover without the fun of the night before. I swear I about come unglued when someone asks me why I don't just "take a nap". Baylee

That is so cool that y'all had yourselves a lil secret! Ok, a big secret! I grinned just reading this. Love it. Baylee

I confess: Dinner was a bowl of cereal tonight. I could not be bothered with anything more laborious than that. I wanna slap my friend round the face for her blithe affect in life (jealous much? Um, helz yeah, I am!). She doesn't make the faintest attempt to understand why I'm struggling with grief. Still. (Like, shouldn't I be over "that" or something??). Um, Google "grief", hooch! Opportunistic people around me that try to be advantageous of my giving nature and avail themselves of use of my husband's things, or presume I am loaded due to my being widowed. Widowed = windfall, right? I'm fairly surly tonight. Baylee

There is honor in being kind. It's not a weakness. You showed character by congratulating your old frenemy with a pure heart. Agree with Joey. I also feel MS is most likely on track that Lieutenant Limelight likely won't reciprocate contact. Baylee

Like a moth to a flame, I also engage in activities sure to set off the waterworks: gazing at wedding pictures, driving his truck, or getting unto his clothes closet, clutching his clothes and inhaling his lingering scent. I know full well these things will undo me, yet the compulsion to get as near to him as I'm capable far surpasses the pain that ensues. It's a gawd awful cycle. I'm sorry, lcoxwell. The pain is asphyxiating. No words of wisdom here, just a nodding knowingly. Baylee

Ok, one glass of Reisling in, and reporting to Sexy Widowed Saturday Night. My nephew's birthday was quite spirited. Now, time for this auntie to get "spirit-ed"! Baylee

I'd like to be headed out for drinks (drink?) with Virgo and WA33! Another cheap drunk here! Instead, I'm helping to chaperone my 9 year old nephew's birthday party. Now if that isn't smokin' sexy... Baylee

The child - like behavior does cause me to question dementia,, but there's a myriad of issues (differing organ failures, strokes or mini-strokes or other insidious neuro -degenerative disorders) that can impact neuro-cognitive capabilities and/or cause encephalopathy. It's hard to delineate without CT/MRI corroborated evidence along with a symptom constellation. But something was most definitely amiss neurologically. I'm sorry; I know it's painful to wonder, and not have any definitive answers. Baylee

^^^This! Every single line resonates with me, Questions! You've written a brilliant and eloquent post on this matter. Baylee

That moment was cringeworthy, for sure. It's one thing for him to have been thinking it, but why he felt it necessary to share it with you baffles me. You were his (first) date, not his therapist! He could have been been courteous, finished out the date, and then have told you the next day that he's not ready. It's called being an "adult". Baylee

Yes, and that's an especially apt term for this--griefquakes. They occur randomly, strike suddenly, and make me tremulous and will have me heaving sobs and streaming tears. And feeling utterly desperate. Baylee

You're such a precious person, lcoxwell, and a valued, contributing member of this board. Hoping for a multi-tiered recovery for you: your health, your heart, and your mind. Prayed a prayer of peace to envelope you. Baylee