MissingSquish Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I have finally had enough with my family's drama, antics and abuse. A dinner out with my parents on Friday turned extremely nasty. My dad admitted he stopped inviting me to events with my brothers and their wives because "it is all couples and it is not appropriate for you to attend". When I said that they were the only family I had, and that I didn't have a husband any longer he said "maybe you should find a husband then". Of course, Friday was the day before my wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, my mom nastily said the same thing to me about needing to find a new husband about 6 months back. I finally told my dad that I never wanted to speak with him or my mother ever again and to not contact me. My relationship with my parents has always been extremely rocky, but Squish and my uncle always were the liaison between me and them. I never wanted to make my uncle choose sides between myself and my parents, so I felt obligated to at least try to maintain a relationship with my parents because of him. Now that Squish and my uncle are both gone, there's nothing more to fight for. Unsurprisingly, my brothers have taken my parent's side. My sister and I are still on fairly good terms, so I am fortunate to have that. I have had little anxiety over this decision to cut all ties, in fact, for the most part, I have been really calm lately. I wasn't even sad on my wedding anniversary, just nostalgic for a life I am glad I no longer live. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedmensa Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Wow...just wow. All I can say is, "WTF?" This is so far out of what is appropriate that I can't even make a comment without using copious amounts of profanity. I am so sorry you have to deal with such selfish people. This sounds like a plot in a Lifetime Network movie. I'm not really a touchy-feely type, but sending you a virtual hug right now. Sounds like you could use one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lmsmdm Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Big, big hugs MS..... Although I did not experience this with immediate family, I do understand the relief when I cut ties with a friend since kindergarten. (((Hugs))) relief or not, I can only imagine.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I'm sorry your parents are so insensitive and selfish MS. WTF is right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Good for you that recognized you don't have to keep an unhealthy relationship going just because of DNA. It sucks, I stopped talking to my Dad when I was 15, there was nothing positive in the relationship and way too much negative cost to me. I'm glad you have your sister, keep surrounding yourself with positive people! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Big hugs, my friend. We will talk soon. Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mizpah Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 OMG what?! Disgusting. How do these people live with themselves?! I'm horrified. Good for you for saying good riddance. I'm so sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimiRed Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 HUGS!!! I'm so sorry you have to deal with this complete nonsense. I am so proud of you for recognizing that this is not something that is your problem...it is THEIR problem, and shame on them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donswife Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 like it was said before ...Wow I bet releasing these people will be a good thing for you keeping touch with your sister is great surrounding yourself with people who really care is always the best I give you huge credit for first of all staying through that dinner and not using any foul language or angry words to your family Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 MissingSquish, what TwistedMensa said. I am so sorry for your estrangement; you don't need this on top of all the other loss. The silver lining here for me looking in as a stranger is that from your posts you clearly have such a strong character and outlook DESPITE your experience with your parents. DNA is not determinative! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 It's always nice when people that have never lost a spouse tell you how you should feel or react. I don't blame you for walking away from them right now. Hopefully they will realize how unreasonable they are being. My mom died 3 months before my husband. My dad and brother will talk about my mom but hardly ever mention Phil. No support for me or my daughters at all. They're both self absorbed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I have no words MS..... Completely incomprehensible. You did the right thing. You do not need that negativity and plain ignorance in your life. I'm just so sorry you had to go through that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DansSoulmate Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Wow, how shockingly insensitive and naive (not to mention laughable) to think a replacement spouse fixes everything. I believe that ties must be cut or minimally distance needs to be put between you and anyone who continually brings pain into your life. Take care of yourself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Unbelievable. I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better. (((((((HUGS))))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissingSquish Posted October 14, 2015 Author Share Posted October 14, 2015 I admit my last words to my dad before I told him to cease contact was a big "FUCK YOU" through my tears. Thank you guys so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Euf Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I just want to say that I am so sorry. Sometimes the only thing that makes sense is to get toxic people out of your life. Just really sad that the toxic people are your family. ((hugs)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracelet Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Love you, MS. Big hugs x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaP Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 WOW MS, That is SO awful. I have an estranged relationship with my in-laws, but my family are (for the most part) supportive. I would never dream of hearing those types of comments. My Dad, especially, was always in my corner. He is not here with us any longer (we lost him in 2012, so he did not get to see my walk down the aisle again). But whatever I had chosen, they would have supported me. That just sucks that the people who brought you into this world are treating you so poorly! You did the right thing to tell them to get lost. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. BIG HUGS, Donna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissingSquish Posted October 18, 2015 Author Share Posted October 18, 2015 Thank you all so much. The situation is what it is. My parents are not going to change. They've been acting like this for 30+ years towards me. Since cutting them out of my life last week, I have felt substantially less anxiety overall. I know I made the right decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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