Anxiety

[Momtojandj]

No clue what's going on , last two weeks or so.. It's off the charts. Usually around this time . I know I have a lot on my mind, son graduating , college , house issues.. However I've been thrown a lot since John died 3 years ago,and haven't had it this bad ,  not sure why this is different . I do have medication, I try and keep busy not sure what else to try . 😜

[klim]

Don't know much about anxiety but know there has been lots of different people here experienced with it, maybe they will have some insight. Anyways hugs for now.

[Trying]

I also have bouts of anxiety and the trigger is not always obvious.  Exercise, a change in routine, deep breathing, meditation apps can work for me if I act soon after I feel it coming on.  When I can anticipate it because of stress I tend to write lists so I can check things off as I accomplish them, even small things, it makes me feel like I have control and also helps stop the endless loop in my brain of all the things that need to get done.

 

I hope things ease up for you, it's such a terrible feeling.

[DavidsKtBeth]

I use the Bath and Body Works aromatherapy stress relief stuff.  I mostly use the body wash because I work from home and can pretty much jump in the shower whenever I want! I do carry the lotion around with me too if I have an event or something that I think might trigger my anxiety.  It kind of just helps me to remember to take a moment for myself and calm down.  It has helped me a lot!!!!!!!

[SoVerySad]

I suffer from extreme anxiety issues. It is awful and exhausting. I have really tried meditation/mindfulness, but I cannot seem to stop my mind enough. I just had one of my kids' teachers recommend essential oils to me. I'm willing to try it. Like you, I've had a lot of life issues that I can't get a break from which exacerbates it, but sometimes it seems to hit out of nowhere. Getting myself lost in music can help me sometimes, which has been the most helpful thing I've found to personally help me. I have to have it loud enough to drown out the sound of my heart beating, though.

 

Sending you calming hugs...

[serpico]

I just had one of my kids' teachers recommend essential oils to me. I'm willing to try it.

 

I suggest looking into these first. At best, I believe they may have a placebo effect, but at worst essential oils could be an outright scam.  Tread carefully.

[Guest TooSoon]

Have you tried seeing a therapist?  I have found that having someone to whom I can say the things that I need to say but have nowhere to go with in my day to day life has helped me a lot.  A safe place just to let it out.  My anxiety goes way down and I feel so much more grounded after I speak with my therapist.  I stopped taking medication about 2 years ago but I found that I needed that safe place - my therapist - to keep me (somewhat) grounded.  And for what it is worth, I'm somewhere just after three years, too, and I thought I'd have it all worked out by now but no.  It simply isn't going to work that way.  I so wish it weren't so for any of us.  Sending support and empathy. 

[PhotoJunkie]

Mine have also been increasing of late.  I couldn't put my finger on why.  Turns out today is the 4th year since my own father passed away.  We did not have the greatest of relationships for the last 10 years of his life at his choosing, not mine.  It doesn't make sense honestly but yet here I am...having anxiety and panic attacks.  Could it be something similar for you?  some other event that on the surface may not be that stressful but given our new lives, you may be reacting to differently this time?  I don't have this date marked.  Stupid Facebook reminded me. 

 

Many hugs to you!!

[Momtojandj]

Too soon , I used to see someone, but unfortunately with paying for my own insurance the cost to see him was out of reach even with a copay. I do go to a group with my boys , and it's my safe place to vent and talk .. But it's only every other week .

[marjoe]

Mom- I can just speak from my own experience. Year 3? I was running on fumes. Did everything I thought I should do, everything I thought I could do - and it didn't seem to make a difference. I'm at almost 8 years now, and in looking back, I think...I think I thought I should be in a "better" place by that time. I put so much pressure on myself, I think that was anxiety producing in itself. (and this is me, not you! just rambling) And of course life's challenges add to it. I'd say - keep doing what you're doing, be cognizant of where you're at (and where you're at is just fine), and to paraphrase one of our old timers - be gentle on yourself. Marsha

[Guest TooSoon]

Year 3? I was running on fumes. Did everything I thought I should do, everything I thought I could do - and it didn't seem to make a difference.

 

This is totally where I am.  Exactly this. 

[PhotoJunkie]

Year 3? I was running on fumes. Did everything I thought I should do, everything I thought I could do - and it didn't seem to make a difference.

 

This is totally where I am.  Exactly this.

 

Me too

[canadiangirl]

Year 3? I was running on fumes. Did everything I thought I should do, everything I thought I could do - and it didn't seem to make a difference.

 

This is totally where I am.  Exactly this.

 

 

Me too

 

I see your year 3 anxiety and raise it  ;-)

[SoVerySad]

Yes, I'm in that same timeframe boat as well. At least I'm in good company.

[BrokenHeart2]

Me too! 

[Captains wife]

I go through spells of anxiety so I get it. Certain things are triggers - last night I was awake from 2.30PM thinking about everything that has happened recently and feeling incredibly anxious. Didn't help that I had this odd assortment of dreams. I hope your anxiety is better but what I am trying to do (and what may also help) is: exercise (this really helps me), eat well, write out lists, let things drop that don't need to be done urgently, try and refocus what I am thinking about, ask for help with everything that needs to get done, try and focus on the positives in my life, reach out to friends, see my grief therapist, post on here All the best,

[kjs1989]

Thoughts with all of you.

 

Anxiety is my biggest issue. It is worse than it was the first, second, and third year. I think the first year I was numb from shock, the second year I was focused on rebuilding, the third year I was trying to settle into a "new normal," Now, well into my fourth year I am going, WTF?? What do I do for the next 20-30 years?? I worry about everything, particularly the happiness, safety and well being of my kids. Losing D in a freakish accident only taught me how vulnerable life and our happiness is, and that it can all change in a millisecond. I try to be rational in my thoughts but easier said than done.

[ForeverChanged]

I don't have a lot of advice that others haven't already given, but your comment about trying to keep busy struck me.  I just hit 10 yrs on 4/10.  I think to the outside world I am "doing great".  I am even happily remarried.  But I can tell you I still have difficult times sometimes.  This month with the 10 year mark was incredibly hard. 

 

I am struggling tremendously with anxiety right now, and I think I might also be depressed. No, that's not accurate.  I know I am.  I think I probably have had issues with it for the last 10+ yrs but I spent the entire time focused & worrying about making sure my kids were ok, telling myself if they were ok I would be ok.  Pretending I was ok, because everyone thought I should be after a couple yrs. Looking back I should have seen someone to get help. Then I met a good man and it was a whirlwind few yrs moving & blending and again I was so busy that I think a lot of that "stuff" got pushed down again.

 

I've had 2 panic attacks the last couple of months and I've never had them in my life.  I didn't even know what they were until after the 2nd one.  The blending thing with his adult kids is NOT great, they don't really like me, NH is laid off again, & my daughter is struggling again with extreme depression/anxiety of her own which makes mine pale in comparison. She has struggled SO much since her dad died..she had bulimia too.   I am on overload and keeping busy for me just doesn't work anymore.  I think it's finally time for me to actually say the words to a doctor and probably get some meds.  I have an appt in 2 wks. I do exercise (zumba), I do have a support system of a few close friends I can talk to.  It's not working for me anymore. 

 

Ppl posted some good advice, I hope you can find some relief soon.  Hugs to you.  <3