Dating again, wedding ring, etc.

[Dragonfly]

When did people change wedding ring to other hand or take it off? Or what did you do with it? Also when did you start dating again? Just curious...

[Julester3]

I took my rings off within a few months. The paperwork I had to fill out everywhere got to me and I didn't feel married anymore because I had to keep saying I was widowed or single with children. So I put my rings away in my jewelry box. I now wear a multi-banded ring on my middle finger of my left hand. I am not contemplating dating at this time. I'm about 11 months out, almost a year.

[daysofelijah]

I took my ring off at one year exactly. And now I've lost a lot of weight so it doesn't fit me anymore. Some day I'd like to make it into something else.

 

I started dating at two and a half years out. I originally planned on waiting until my youngest was in kindergarten, which would be this year, but the loneliness and skin hunger just got to be too much. NG and I have been together for almost 2 years now. My kids are pretty accepting of it, my oldest had a hard time at first, but he's grown used to having NG around now. It's our new normal.

[Portside]

I took my wedding ring off about a month after I was widowed.

 

I started dating at about 4 months.

 

Mike

[Adley]

I took mine off at abou six months. As I write I can still feel it.  The kids and I rode a Mardi Gras float last week for children who have lost one or two parents.. I saw a lady on there who had on a wooden ring. All I could think was 'I wish I had thought of that'.

[twin_mom]

After having mine off for awhile, I started wearing my band on my right hand. It's a diamond band, so many think it's just a ring though family/friends, including NG, know it's my wedding band.

[fairlanegirl]

Swapped to right hand with engagement ring at about 4 months, and it is still there, will be there forever even if I marry again. Now six years out, got into a relationship - non-cohabiting - that I am still in, at about a year. Never actively 'dated' as in decided to go out looking, I knew NG a long time ago and he kind of just turned up, and it felt right. Guess I'm not a very complex person! I admire those with the courage to go online, doubt I could have done it. Like Elijah, kids are good, though oldest who was six did have trouble with it sporadically for quite a while, hardly surprising. Youngest wasn't even 2 when her daddy died, so she was OK...

[trying2breathe]

At about six months I took the wedding ring off, on occasion still put it on for a day or so just because I feel like it.

A little over 3 years out, I started dating.

[Mizpah]

I took my wedding band off the day after the first of his birthdays he wasn't here for.  He died in April, and his birthday was in February (so about 10 months).  I looked down that morning before I got in the shower, and thought: "This looks so right.  I don't ever want to take it off."  And then I took it off.  I wear it every year for one or two days - his birthday and our anniversary. 

 

I dated someone at 14 months, but it was someone I knew I didn't have feelings for, and he was going to be going far away within 6 months - so it was safe.  I "fell in love" again a little after two years. 

[Captains wife]

Its interesting how the timing is so different for everyone and how circumstances can impact timing of some of this. I took off my ring within a few months of him dying - at first I took it off, put it back on and then by 6 months it remained off. I never wear it and it sits in a box. I started dating (via internet websites) at 14 months out - mainly out of loneliness. In hindsight, I should have waited longer. The reason I say that is that I struggled ALOT in the first 2+ years - raising a baby by myself, trying to juggle work, motherhood, dating, trying to fill a lonely void too quickly, a lot of anger and grief issues.

At five years out (almost now), I am in a much better place generally, including with me and my son (its so much easier now!), and knowing what I want as well as being more at peace with what happened.

[klim]

I had lost a diamond on my rings so was not wearing them..... i accidently started dating at 9 months...joined a hiking group just to get out of the house and someone was interested in me...so i went along with it. It was nice to just have it happen.

It lasted 2 years and I learned I could love and be loved....

[imissdow]

Ring off around 4 months wore his on my left hand for probally the next 2 years. Started dating at 8 months it was way to soon. Quit for awhile and started again about 18 months out.

[PeaceLoveLinny]

It was so strange to me how many people asked me when I was going to quit wearing my ring.  I hadn't even thought about it.  I Googled etiquette, asked friends, and there was just no consensus as to what was "right".  I ended up having the choice made for me when I had an accident and the Fire Department had to cut my bands off.  Looking back, I think I would have felt guilty removing them on my own.  I have the rings in a small jewelry box waiting until I either repair them or have them up-cycled into something new for my children.

Dating, for me, happened accidentally and organically 5 months after I lost my husband.  I never EVER thought I could consider dating again and being in a relationship just seemed undesirable as I had already been married to the best.  I was wrong.  He still was the best man for me, at that time in my life, but post-loss I am a different person, and I found someone who was best for me now. I felt guilty about it for a while, and I especially worried about what others would think of me.  I know my husband wouldn't want me to wallow in self-pity my whole life so I decided life was too short to concern myself with other people's opinions.  So, here I am, 9 months after losing my husband, and I'm happy and with someone who supports me and moves forward with me, who supports me as I still grieve, and holds my children and asks questions about their  daddy so they still have a chance to talk about him.  It's a bittersweet journey to be on, but this is the hand I was dealt, and I will play it to the best of my ability. 

[Virgo]

I wore my ring maybe three times. It just hurt me more than it helped me. Everyone is different. It didn't comfort me at all. It was a constant reminder that I wasn't married anymore. I had my diamond solitaire set into a custom heart pendant. Now I wear it all of the time.  The sentiment is the same, but it's different. Just like me.

 

I started dating around a year and a half after my husband died.

[KrypticKat]

I took mine off about two months out and started wearing his ring on my right hand. I'm thinking of having my own rings changed to look like the first ring he ever bought me (a cocktail ring on our 4th date). Still not dating and not really comfortable with the idea. I'm at about 9 months.