JacklessSally Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Touch. That's what I need. Skin on skin. Somebody to hold me while I listen to their heartbeat. I wouldn't turn down more, but I'd be happy with this. Skin on skin contact, and heart beat... I'd be happy too if their was a little chest hair for me to mess with. I don't think I'm really ready for much more than half naked cuddling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
November Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Touch. That's what I need. Skin on skin. Somebody to hold me while I listen to their heartbeat. I wouldn't turn down more, but I'd be happy with this. I don't think I'm really ready for much more than half naked cuddling. I ditto this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracelet Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I need hot sex with someone who wants me so much that they don't give a toss if I've shaved my legs or not. Who desires me regardless of what greying underwear I'm wearing. Who actively WANTS to get to know my body, not just have a quick fuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 My bf (hate that term lol) might think I'm crazy, not having sex for awhile , I was like a caged animal getting let out the first time we had sex. I still haven't caught up yet 😜. That and I'm more secure and adventurous ..I think I like my fourties lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Momtojandj, the 40's definitely rock! Someone should do a study on the effect of being widowed in the prime of life on a woman's sex drive. Does it effect widowers the same way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gretchen437 Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I think I am in desperate need of some action. I haven't started dating because between school, kids, work, and bar prep I just haven't had the time. it is starting to seriously affect my dreams though. I had the most wonderful (and graphic) dream about a lovely woman last night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Casual sex isn't as awful, awkward, or empty as I thought it would be. Maybe I'm more at ease because he's a friend. It's exactly what I need at the moment. I'm not ready to give myself completely to someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carey Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Virgo, I'm doing the same thing myself. It's a wonderful release and for that little bit of time, I feel better. There's a lot to be said about the release of endorphins I guess, lol. I'm not ready for anything more either and we're just perfect the way we are. He's my best friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracelet Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 I need action again. It's only been a week but the more I have, the more I want. Just give me another orgasm already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 I was thinking today too that I wish our schedules were more open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tmwenger Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Man I think about this a lot. I am not a sexual goddess but my husband and I just worked. He always said i was like a video game that he just got. He knew he could get me going so easily and we enjoyed sex....a lot. I hope I find someone who can make me feel this way again. Someone who can just make me hot and feel good, really, really good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 tmwenger, I think that makes things even more difficult for us. Our spouses knew exactly what we enjoyed. Now we're back to the awkward beginning phase. Things with my friend need to progress a bit or I'm going to lose interest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracelet Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 sexsexsexsexsexsex. I just want really close, bodies touching, romping til exhausted sex. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest look2thesky Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 I was used to sex on a whim. 2, 3, 7 times a day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 I just want to turn it off and not think about it anymore. It hurts too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracelet Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Well, here's a laugh for you. My work will no longer allow me to access my blog from the office. It is now being flagged as "pornographic". Who'd have thought a grief blog would be pornographic?!?! Well, turns out mine is, apparently. But there's not even any naked pictures - just me complaining about lack of sex and talking about grief shit. Also, it appears that I swear a shit load more than your average person, hence it being blocked by work 😳 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest marian1953 Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 Well, fuck me side-wise, Grace. That's a laugh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest look2thesky Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 Is that not side.. Ways ? ; ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 I just want to turn it off and not think about it anymore. It hurts too much. Have you tried meditation? Even simple mindfulness meditation ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 Have you tried meditation? Even simple mindfulness meditation ?? Yes... I used to practice regularly, but I've lost the knack. I can't make my brain be still, it's like a hamster on crack. I can't even regulate my breathing anymore, and at one time I was pretty good at that. It's not even actual sex I'm wanting right now, it's more that I'm terrified that I'll never have sex again. No one will ever want me. I shouldn't admit that, I guess, but if I can't be candid in this thread, where can I? I'm 40 years old. My husband died; my libido didn't. I mean I am seriously, deeply afraid that I'm never going to be touched again. The idea that I might have to spend another 40 years celibate-- never any sex at all, let alone the kind I want-- is nearly as devastating to me as the fact of Jim's death. That probably makes me a terrible, jacked up person in need of professional help, but-- fuck it, I have to wear the mask everywhere else, I may as well lay it all out here. Hope no one will hold it against me. And if they do, well, I'm sorry. It's just where I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest look2thesky Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 I think I too had some fear or concern of this. Shit now I have the risk of living alone permanently, again. I filled some years with keeping as busy as I could, not to think about or face it. And then the ridiculous dating sites. Not a good few years. I settled. Wasn't happy. So I broke off all commitments and just figure when the time may be right, fate will kick in. That's how I met my Wife. And I can't force someone else, to want to start a new life with me. You look very attractive, at least from the avatar thing. I'm sure You will have many opportunities. Wait. Just a while. You'll see, and mark it on the calendar. Great things eventually do happen, when we least expect. I guess we have to be ready, and open to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 I'll just say that I'm frustrated from lack of activity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 I'm 40 years old. My husband died; my libido didn't. I mean I am seriously, deeply afraid that I'm never going to be touched again. The idea that I might have to spend another 40 years celibate-- never anything at all, let alone the kind I want-- is nearly as devastating to me as the fact of Jim's death. That probably makes me a terrible, jacked up person in need of professional help, but-- fuck it, I have to wear the mask everywhere else, I may as well lay it all out here. Hope no one will hold it against me. And if they do, well, I'm sorry. It's just where I am. Nope, it doesn't make you messed up at all. We mourn our spouses but also who we were with them, and part of that was that we were sexual partners. Of course losing that is devastating! This does not make you a bad person or crazy, it makes you honest, which I appreciate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 I came back here planning to delete my post... I'm slightly mortified to have admitted it, but it really is my greatest fear right now. I know how ridiculous that sounds. Look2thesky, thank you for the vote of confidence... I never got the "Oh, you'll find someone/get married again" comment, which makes me think anyone who knows me has already mentally consigned me to the convent. Jess, I appreciate the validation-- I was afraid I would sound really petty and messed up: "Her husband died, and all she's worried about is whether she'll ever get laid again!" Well, it's true-- it's not all I worry about, but it's a big chunk of it. And it's not just about sex-- it's about everything around the sex. Companionship. Connection. My heart still works too. I feel slightly foolish hoping lightning will strike again, but at the same time I can't not hope for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest look2thesky Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 There's nothing that you should have to hold back about. I think everyone here has common thoughts. And I agree it's a huge part of personal happiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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