OMG

[Katelsam]

I slept with my late husband's brother last night. We were up north with the rest of the fam. A few of us went out for cocktails, we were flirting all night and then ended up having amazing sex on the dock. In all honesty I've secretly thought of this scenario, but never in a million years did I think it would ever happen for several good reasons.

 

Well, that was a mistake. This is going to be awkward. Still shocked and embarrassed

[Baylee627]

Well, what a tangled web we've weaved!! Lol. Just kidding. ;D

 

Firstly: was it a mistake? Is he single? Is he a good man who you've respected and cared for? Is there reciprocity of those things? The chemistry is there. Obvi.

 

Ahem.

 

Romance with the sibling of our departed loved ones is unlikely--sometimes inadvisable--BUT, it's not unheard of. Some even have a happy ending.

 

Keep us posted, missy!

 

Baylee

[Portside]

Well Kate, Thanksgiving dinner may be a bit awkward. 

 

No biggie - My late wife's sis and I had a 'close' relationship for a time after T. died. It did us both a great deal of good and we are still very fond of each other and have a great relationship with no issues.

 

Best wishes, Mike

 

 

[Momtojandj]

Is he single? Maybe talk to him.. Don't beat yourself up .. Keep us updated :-)

[Katelsam]

I do care for him and I am very attracted to him. Last night we both admitted to thinking of getting together, but neither one of us had the guts to say anything or act on it. He looks like my late husband and I find that comforting in a strange way. He's a great guy and a good father. Yesterday when he played with the kids and helped my daughter take her little baby steps it made me think of how my husband would be with our baby daughter. And it doesn't hurt that the sexual chemistry is great. In my fantasy world this is the perfect scenario--I know he would love my children...his brother's children like his own....but, in reality it's much more complicated and convoluted.

 

As for the "is he single" he is currently on a break from his current girlfriend. They've been off and on for years. I know that we made a mistake complicating that situation, but what's done is done.

 

I was embarrassed when I woke up this morning and realized it was real life. He had a huge smile on his face and when I was napping he came in before he left to go home to kiss me good bye. He held my hand and told me how great last night was, and has been texting me ever since.

 

He's my husband's oldest brother...11 years older than me. His sister mentioned to her mom that he was flirting with me last night and my MIL mentioned something to me and said it was no big deal. To my surprise she asked if I'd ever consider being with him.......I was surprised to hear that she was 'pro' him and I getting together if we ever decided to pursue a relationship. That was definitely unexpected. My mother in law and I have always been really close.

 

I am still very hungover and confused about this situation as a whole. Hopefully clarity will come as the hangover fades and time goes on. If I was on the outside I would think this was absolutely nuts, but I'm not. I have mixed feelings about this whole deal.

 

I'm gonna step back and let him figure out the stuff with his gf. I don't want to play a factor in whether or not they get back together. I told him I wouldn't feel awkward or anything if they decide to work things out. I am not emotionally vested, but I will miss the sex. What a bizarre and completely unexpected night. Wow.

 

 

 

[serpico]

Paging whiteirony...come in, whiteirony...

[whiteirony]

Sleeping with the BIL ....

 

I had a similar situation happen. BIL came over frequently after DH died to help with maintenance and play with the kids. Then the in-laws and I went to a concert one night, had a blast with a few cocktails and when we got back to my place, one thing led to another and it was MIND BLOWING!! I was in shock the next morning as he left for work and I sat there wondering what the hell did I just do ... And now, we're getting married this September. 

 

I get everything that you just posted. The families took it well except for my mother but I've worked through that. We also really had to process together and tread lightly. We kept things to ourselves for 2 1/2 months until we realized we were both falling in love. I won't bore you with details but if you want to know more, message me. Happy endings can happen. My biggest advice is don't beat yourself up and keep the communication open between the two of you. I was so scared to go down this path and it took someone from the board to nudge me to take that leap of faith and I couldn't be happier. I am more in love with this man than I ever dreamed possible. And the added bonus, my kids ADORE him!! So uncle Eric and mommy are getting married and they love it.

[Captains wife]

Honestly, I am surprised this doesn't happen more. Naturally you would gravitate to someone that has some semblance of your LH. It seems you two have a connection and mutual respect for each other - and you are being smart about how you are dealing with the aftermath. Keep us posted, I also hope things might work out for two if that's what you both want.

[MissinGrizz]

In some cultures it's encouraged for men to marry their brothers' widow. Don't beat yourself up about it, especially since your MIL doesn't have an issue with it.

[Mizpah]

It was the custom a long, long time ago - called a Levite marriage I believe.  Does anyone remember the woman on YWBB who was only there for a short while in 2011?  Her husband committed suicide.  I think she was BellaPiccola or PiccolaBella or something.  Her husband was Italian, and I believe she'd never met his brother, who lived in Italy (they lived in CA).  She was planning a trip to Italy, and I think she wanted to fall in love with, marry and have kids with the brother (or maybe just have kids with him?  I'm clearly not remembering this clearly!).  I think many have this impulse. 

 

Anyway!  I love this story.  Whether or not it "goes anywhere," it sounds like a lovely, mutual night and not like something you should regret or feel shameful over. 

[CJF]

I remember her and her story!  I hope she got what she was hoping for 

[MrsT85]

Honestly, I am surprised this doesn't happen more. Naturally you would gravitate to someone that has some semblance of your LH.

 

Along these lines - right after Tim died, I developed a very intense crush on my happily married BIL - his younger brother.  And even as it was happening, I knew why.  He was the person in this world the most like my Tim.  He looks like him.  He has a lot of the same mannerisms.  And most importantly, he has very very similar interests.  Initially, it helped me miss Tim just a little bit less to spend time with him. 

 

Luckily, because he's both happily married and a good and respectful person, I was never really put in a situation where I'd have to use self-control to avoid a potentially awkward or relationship-damaging occurrence, which ended up being a really good thing because I later ended up moving in with him and his wife for about a year.  By then, I had already met NG and my feelings for my BIL had mostly waned. 

 

But yeah.  Makes perfect sense to me that you'd be attracted to his brother.  I know I was, and can't say for certain how I'd reacted had I been in your shoes in that situation.

 

Best of luck figuring it all out