BrokenHeart2

Going to have to say international because I'm heading to Florida in 10 days!! Getting out of this deep freeze will be so amazing!!! Swimming in a pool or in the ocean?

Beach front bungalow for sure. If you are Canadian you certainly can appreciate this choice at this time of year. Actually heading to Florida in Feb!! Woohoo thanks to an invite from my brother and sil. I miss my travel companion. A fine whiskey or scotch?

Today was my 5th birthday without DH and finally felt it was more than bearable and for that I am truly grateful. Wow I had no idea it would take this long but it did. I met a beautiful 12 yr old today who is the daughter of my stepsons girlfriend. For my birthday she drew me a beautiful red cardinal. I almost cried when I saw it but did not want to upset her so I refrained and was so happy to get it from her. She had no idea of the significance of the red cardinal which kind of overwhelmed me at the same time. Life is getting better.

Mishka, keep going, one day or on minute at a time. Hang in there and it will get better. Everyone's timeframe is different and for me it took a while. At nearly 5 yrs (May 30) I still have my moments but nothing near like the early days. I was like you at yr 1 so don't give up hope. I too had those inconsiderate comments from DGI's, how would they know what it's like until they walk a mile in your shoes. Stay true to yourself and you'll get there. Hugs to you

Yes you definitely need to keep your boundaries up! I wouldn't be surprised if eventually you decide enough is enough. Unbelievable. Hugs to you!

Wow kflex, I couldn't imagine having to deal with a crazy ex while in the throws of grieving. DH had an ex that was crazy and I have nothing to do with her anymore so I certainly can empathize with what you have to deal with. Is there any chance you can mention to her that you need to establish a schedule for the next while to have some stability for all the kids sake while they are grieving the loss of their father. This will take the focus off of you and puts it on the kids. Best of luck to you during this difficult time. Hugs

Hugs to all of you that has recently joined. We get it and post as much as you want or need to. I truly learned what "one day at a time" meant after I lost DH. Try not to think to much into the future and focus on today. Hugs again.

CW you are so right about this "HOWEVER, its also not fair if I am expected to continually tiptoe around to appease him since he is dealing with a difficult ex situation." If he's not curbing his interaction with her you have to wonder what he's getting from it. Not responding sends a loud signal to her too. If he chooses to continue doing this you have choices to make too. Hugs and peace to you.

Hi CW, your post reminded me of when I started dating DH. Back then there were no cell phones but his ex would phone and pick a fight with him. She wanted his attention and it didn't matter what kind of attention it was. He would be arguing with her on the phone and it was supposed to be our night. I remember asking him "why are you still arguing with her. Didn't you divorce to stop the fighting?" It was like a light went on. I guess it's what they had done for so long it just happened. He realized this and the arguing just stopped. He stopped engaging in the battles and giving her the attention she was seeking. Maybe this isn't the same since it was your BF's text that started the barrage of text fighting that time. What is he getting out of this? I have to agree with Portside, in my opinion his post nailed it. Best of luck to you, it's not easy that's for sure. Hugs

I am so sorry you are having to endure this sojourner. Hugs to you

Wow TS2 what a beautiful song. So true!!

Thanks LF, that was beautiful.

Thank you RFF for your eloquent heartfelt thoughts on 5 years.... Hugs to you!

I'm sorry on the loss of your wife. Welcome to the group nobody wants to join. You have found a very supportive bunch of people that could help you when it feels like nobody in real life understands what you are going through. Take it one day at a time and even down to one minute at a time if you need too. Remember to drink lots of water as crying is very dehydrating. Take care matts255. Hugs

Well that's a hell of a name for a bike tour! lol. I hope you have a terrific time LF! Get over those hurdles one at a time, it's like building muscle and you'll eventually get there! Hugs

KK it's facebook. Try not to let social media stress. I actually call it fakebook. Don't do anything until you are ready.

Well said KK!!

You could also get a travel agent to take care of that for you as well. Good luck!!

I would take his original attitude as what will come. Advancement or "gotta step up to keep her" for now..... Just sayin Best of luck!!

Take it from this Canadian, careful digging out my fellow wids!! Don't want to hear about any heart attacks. Thankfully we didn't get the snow you all did in New England!! The deep freeze I've been living in the last 2 weeks gave one day of reprieve only to be back down in that deep freeze again. UGH It’s -11°F and -37°F with the wind chill ...... yes you read that correctly. And it will be like this or colder all weekend. Monday it’s supposed to go up to a balmy 23°F Stay warm folks!! Hugs

Thanks Ladies. I appreciate that you got what I was trying to say. I didn't want to offend anyone at the same time Hugs to all of you!!

Wow! Thank you for that one cathead!

I'm sorry for any new members having to join here because as you well know this is the group nobody ever wants to be in. Well we're here and we know you don't want to be but we can help believe it or not. Just a bit of advise as I remember over 4 yrs ago when I joined this predecessor YWBB (since closed down) I remember I couldn't stand to read how others had moved on into new relationships and what was happening with them. Unfortunately, the most active "sections" of this board seem to be just about that topic. If you don't want to read it, think it or even see it don't click on the "Unread" button in the top left corner. Stay focused on where you are today in those sections of this board and venture in to the others if you feel strong enough to see it. It's not all bad but remember where you are today and that is their journey not yours. Gentle hugs to all Wids. May we all find peace and hope in our journey into 2018.

Hi Sara. I'm so sorry you had to join us. At 4.5 yrs now, I too remember earlier out how it felt like my time with DH felt surreal. It was so bizarre. As odd as it may sound to others, I'm glad to hear I'm not alone in that horrible feeling. How could my 20 years be surreal? How could he be gone? How many times I asked myself these questions. When I heard time has a way to heal I thought to my self, bullshit. There's no way I want this to be happening. It's true though. Do the work..... go through it and not around as painful as it is and very slowly it starts to change. I truly learned what one day at a time really meant. If you need to go to one hour/minute at a time (I did), I had to only l look at the day ahead because to look beyond hurt too much. Keep focusing on healing and what's best for your children like you have been doing and my dear you will eventually find your way. Big gentle hugs to you.

Wow, Miz you nailed it!! no more to say! Keep on keeping on!! Hugs