Mrskro

My 2 cents....you are a Mother as well. You should enjoy your Mother's Day! My LMIL and I didn't get along very well. We visited before or after, or my DH went for a few hours with the kids, I was not going to spend my Mother's day miserable with a women that I didn't have a real relationship with. I will say she passed a few months before my husband so I can't honestly say what I would have done after though.

I need a hug, a kiss, someone to cuddle with! Naked cuddle time would be a huge bonus!

I know how difficult this situation is. My Dad just passed away and set up a spousal trust for my step mother. My brother and sister and step mother are now fighting the will and beneficiaries because my dad didn't set ANYTHING up properly. My brother and sister think all the money should go to us. (my mother passed away when we were young and the money was from her and my father) My father was married for 23 years to my step mom. He tried to set it up to support her and the balance upon her death reverts to the three of us. Not her kids. ITS a Mess! My recommendation is get a good estate lawyer and accountant. I think you need both need to properly set things up as they have different skills, the law vs the government and taxes. My will is set up with trusts for both my kids, it is structured in such a way that the trustee will payout for any education needs, a vehicle if needed and can pay out for a down payment on house etc upon the trustees approval. The lump sum doesn't get paid out until they are 35. The trust is structured to give them a start in life, not allow them to come into huge sums of money and slack off. I figure by then they have had to support themselves, figured out their lives, hopeful are in a good marriage. It eliminates some of the possibility of someone marrying them for money. But at 35 the lump sum can help them pay off their mortgages, maybe get a cottage, enjoy their lives. I did not set up an education trust because it become murky if they don't go to school etc.

Aneal I am so sorry you are going through this again; I have no words except hugs and I'm sorry. One thing though, there is no such this as too much sharing here. There are a ton of supportive people that understand at least a little what you are going through. I'm sure our second time widows will chime in with better words than me.

I am truly in awe of all of you that have continued or started and finished new education. I can barely handle grade 8 homework most days congrats to all of you that are finishing up!

Fuck you to the little box that asks marital status when I was checked into the hospital for sleep apnea/heart tests last night. Why does my fucking marital status matter?!?!?! and a big ole fuck you to the lovely attendant that says while reading it "wow, but you are so young, how did he die?" and "why is your emergency contact a friend?" Because I don't know .... I'm a widow? Because, yeah that's what I needed to talk about right then.

My husband passed away about a week before our anniversary. For the 1 year of both, I took my kids and hopped on a plane and headed to Mexico. I went with tequila and cerveza therapy. There are no right ways. Do whatever you need to do. Hugs

I find this odd, in Canada our pharmacies take back un-used drugs or paraphernalia and disposes of it so that it isn't either misused or put into the landfills and then our water and such. It's a great idea.

Here you go .... "yes Donna, you can be a normal productive person who just happens to miss her dead husband". I could have written this whole thing. I have found I have two places....either I concentrate on all the basic every day stuff and then start to feel like what's the point if my life is just going to be tidying the house and laundry. OR I concentrate on the big stuff and changing things and that takes up so much of my energy I suddenly have no clean socks. I am really struggling with a balance, and I am really tired of everyone telling me I should move on...find a man....start living again. But I have to believe at some point yes we will all be productive people again. (I'm leaving out the normal because who wants that )

LivetoRide ... WTF is that?!?! A big fuck you to them all. So sorry to hear that. Now the reason I came to the thread. Fuck you to my brother and sister, who want to fight my father's will so his wife of 23 years gets nothing.

Captains wife....NO it isn't bad that you are enjoying it! You've been honestly they all know so take your time. Enjoy yourself IMO

My lawyer also had me draw up both a medical and a financial power of attorney in the event I get hit by a bus as my next of kin and who I'd like to take care of medical and financial decisions becomes an issue. One friend is the medical and one is the financial so that both have to look out for my best interests.

Hugs. This stuck with me, "one day to the next and in the blink of an eye it's another year gone". It does feel like that for me too. Hope your day goes well.

My 13 year old DS and I were relaxing on the couch, I was in my Pj's which were shorts and he said to me "ok, Mom this is ridiculous you have to shave your legs" I may have been slacking in that department. What's the point if there's no one to touch them anyway?

SoVerySad I feel the same way you do. But I'm beginning to think its partially how I see myself. I know what's behind the mask. Someone posted a picture of me on facebook during a night out and I thought it was the absolute worst picture ever. Bags under my eyes. I looked sad to myself. Empty. She said I was crazy and based on the comments I'm the only one that sees it. For me, anyway, my mask is holding up.

toosoon; I would say bring it to one of those places that cleans the car inside and out and claim ignorance to the white caterpillars

Hugs

Cancer sucks! HUGS and prayers. I'm sorry for she and you have to go through this.

I've been renovating my house. It started with the master bathroom where my DH died. A very good friend is my contractor, but he's here all the time regardless of working (I know I shouldn't mix friendship and business but it works ) We've now redone most of my house. Because he and I are such good friends, and he is doing the work, we've made alot of decisions together. And it's not even his damn house lol For me, he's helped me see different sides of things, from paint colours to which doors to put in. I found that bouncing ideas off each other has actually been helpful. There are things I would never have thought of or picked or done but I love now. Don't tell him I said that. But one of the things we've both done is when we feel strongly about something ....I'll use tiles as an example. he wanted the 24"x12" tiles I hated them in the guest bathroom (I agree with him now btw) He showed me two samples. Here pick one....The floor looks awesome. I guess what I'm saying is maybe give him a couple choices you like; here pick one of these colours for the living room. He might feel more involved but you already made two choices you like?

Alright all you online daters. I have a question....I'm sure you've all been asked this before so here goes.... How do you answer "what are you looking for?" I hate this question. How do you say I'm looking to date....possibly find someone I'm compatible with .....without it coming off as "I want to get married right now!!"

LTSL; Hugs to you. I'm so sorry you are in such pain. None of us wanted to be on this journey. My only advice is one minute at a time. Unfortunately there isn't an easy answer. Nic

Trying ....That's awesome. So glad it went well!!!

Donswife; I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad in January so I know how hard it is. The memories it brings back. Hugs

I just don't get it. If you don't want to actual start a conversation why message someone. Is it just me? him - hi (I shouldn't have responded) Me - hello, how are you today? Him - ok, nice profile me - thanks (his says absolutely nothing about him) him - yw and then nothing. Why bother???

I would be tempted to split the difference. Midnight seems to soon after prom ends, by the time they get organized and leave prom, and 2 am seems to late. I think socially the after prom parties are fairly important to kids and would have the talk about safety, Do not get into a car with anyone drinking/drugs etc. Picking her up straight from prom could be embarrassing and if she's just starting to fit in may not help. I'm lucky my 16 year old has a great head on her shoulders and none of her friends drink; and I know most of their parents.