SoVerySad

How is everyone tonight? I hope well. I'm checking some of my son's schoolwork - right now a PP Presentation on the importance of honeybees. I have the White House Correspondents' Dinner on C-Span. Ordered in Chinese for the kids for dinner, because I didn't feel like going to the store today. Who can top my exciting evening?

Darn, more waiting. Well, I'm hoping the wait will be worth it and you get the outcome you are hoping for. Hugs...

TS. I am envious that you got to see Bruce recently. I would love to see him again. We saw him years ago on the Born in the USA tour. I know exactly what you mean about the sing-along. For the last hour of the concert, they had all the lights on. Everyone in the audience was standing and singing along. I danced with an older gentleman in the aisle, while T looked on laughing. It was an awesome night. Thanks for helping me bring back that good memory to savor for a while.

Thank you for this beautiful post. I feel very grateful to all on the ywbb and here who have helped me to keep moving forward when it felt impossible. I am truly appreciating your posts - the thoughtfulness and loving care you take with each one. I'm glad you are here and thankful to those whose light helped you navigate through the darkness. Tight hugs to you...

KeepTrying, Have you ever taken the kids to Chocolate World at Hershey? It is free and open the day we'll be getting together. It has a ride thru a simulated chocolate factory they might enjoy. In addition, there is also a 3 or maybe 4-D movie (that is not free) as I recall. We saw it a couple of times when my kids were younger. The amusement park itself is also open that day. I realize it may be too long a drive to Hershey with your kids and being pregnant, but it would be nice to meet you in person. K-REBat, it would be nice to meet you as well. Imissdow, it will be nice to see you and the girls again. I actually put myself first for once with this bago. While my life is generally always about my kids, I really want to get together with everyone. So, Michael and I set the date. The other day my daughter asked about going to an event in Gettysburg that day. I told her we couldn't, because I had something else planned. She looked a little surprised - probably that I actually have plans of my own. Or perhaps that I told her no. She was very good about it, though. TS, I hope we can see you there. lmsmdm, it will be so nice to see you again.

I'm sorry you need to look for a new job. I'm hoping you find one in which you can feel more secure and valued. Hugs...

I have experienced guilt based upon feeling that I failed to get him to go to the ER the day he died suddenly at home8. I was ready to take him, but he didn't feel he needed to go. I don't know why I didn't absolutely insist. I'll always regret not pushing harder. The other thing that has made me feel guilty is comments from others - comments intending to be kind and affirming, but instead make me feel as if I failed. T's parents and many other people told me after he died, they know T was only here as long as he was, despite several critical illnesses, because of how well I took care of him and made sure he got the care he needed, etc.. They had no way to know that I feel if I accept their words as truth, then I must have failed when he didn't survive that last day. I wish I could get another shot at that last day.

Tight hugs to you, BeyondLife. My daughter suggested I shouldn't watch, but I did. I should have listened to my wise beyond her years girl. I literally shrieked out loud out one point as it reminded me exactly of being hit out of nowhere in our recent crash. The hospital scenes were heartbreakingly familiar in too many ways. I thought it was a beautifully done episode, but I didn't want it to play out the way it did. :'(

You deserve to take credit, TS. You've come a long way and you're an inspiration to me. Love and hugs...

I don't dream often about my husband, but I do believe one of those dreams was a visitation. It was very different than any other dream - much more vivid. I was sleeping on the sofa (which is where I was actually sleeping at the time). I felt him lean over me and lightly kiss my cheek. It woke me. He turned away as if he was leaving. I grabbed his hand and asked him not to go. He never spoke a word, but looked back at me as if to say he had to go and I probably shouldn't have seen him. He turned away again. Then he turned back and smiled at me like he couldn't just leave. He laid down on the sofa with me and cradled me in his arms. It was comforting as he looked so healthy - like he had 15 years or so earlier. I did feel very happy for a little while after that dream. All other dreams of him have seemed to be just regular dreams, although I have wondered if he is trying to offer me guidance in a few of them..

Smabify, I am so sorry that your little girl is ill again. You have had so much to deal with alone, honey. You show amazing strength, yet I can only imagine how exhausting it must be. Of course you must wonder daily why all this has and continues to happen. It is more than anyone should have to bear. I wish I could help you in some way and I'm so sorry your husband can't be with you to carry some of the load and help to calm your nerves and comfort you. Sending you love and the tightest of hugs for you and those beautiful little girls...

I'm sorry your husband didn't get to see the chair in your presence. I share your belief that he does see it from where he is now. I hope you and your boys will feel comfort sitting in his chair.

MM. I'm sorry you can't make it. One of these days we'll get to meet in person, hopefully. MissingMyJon, I hope you will be able to join us. To anyone who might be lurking and within driving distance, you really are welcome to attend. I remember feeling nervous about attending my first bago, but I'm so glad I did. It is hard to describe the kinship I immediately felt, but it has been powerful and enjoyable for me.

Sending you a tight hug, Michael. I'm sorry you are hurting so much.

JS, I'm so sorry your friend commented about B's things. Of course, she has no idea how precious those things are as a connection when it is all you have left. My T's death hit me in two stages. First was that he had died. It was sudden and unexpected. Although his health had been failing, it took some time to process that he had actually died. The second stage was realizing what him being dead really meant for my life and our children's lives. That was soooo painful and frankly, still is. It went from a moment in time where he died to a million moments in future forever changed - days on end to miss him, etc. It was a horrendous blow on top of the blow of his death. This stage you've hit is necessary and inevitable, but I'm very sorry you are having to experience it. Sending you tight, tight hugs...

I'm adding my positive thoughts that it works out well for you, HvnBound. And adding some tight hugs too...

Sending you tight hugs, RIFF...

Tight hugs to you, Amy. I'm glad you made it there since it was important to you. It is nice you had a friend to support you as well.

Congratulations to your son and to you! I'm sorry your excitement and pride also comes with a bittersweet sadness that those you would most like to celebrate with aren't here to share the experience with you. I understand that feeling well. Tight hugs to you...

A few years ago, my son had brain surgery. I took a coloring book (similar to the mandalas) and colored pencils with me. I concentrated on coloring to get me through the excruciating wait during his surgery. It truly did help, especially when the surgery took longer than expected.

Yes, I am coming, plus my two teens. Michael, I believe this is the location, right? http://www.themanorrestaurantandlounge.com/ Looking forward to seeing everyone.

I'm sending you tight hugs, OSAAT. I'm very sorry for the tragic loss of your dog. More hugs...

My thoughts are with you today, DeeDee. I'm hoping you are having/have had a smooth delivery and that holding your new baby will help soften the difficulty of the day. Please update us when you can. I'm sure you've had lots of widdas sending you prayers and positive thoughts today. Hugs to you...

Life threw T and I some pretty wicked curve balls, but we always pulled together and kept pushing forward. Sometimes when things were really tough, T would play this song and we'd sing it loudly together. I listen to it at times when I feel like giving up and remember that he never did. No surrender, baby!! (I chose a video version of it that I think TooSoon will appreciate!)

Kamcho, I'm very sorry about the loss of your cat as well. And I'm sorry for the comments you got that made your loss seem insignificant. My cats are definitely family to me. Plus they never let me down in the ways my human family does. They make my life richer every day. To lose that is no small thing, especially after the losses we've already suffered. Tight hugs to you as well.