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Missing! Are you dating or considering it? Not that doing so is the answer to all pain, but just wondering. {{{{Hugs}}}}

Thanks, Semper for posting. This is my first view of the 'relationships' thread and I hadn't even let myself think that far ahead with NG until recently ... I have a couple people I privately gush to a little but I've never been one to talk about my private life much. I think because of my negative Ch1 experience, I became very cautious. Then when he died and I got close to the man who became Ch2, I just maintained my quiet. I realized not too long ago why -- in a conversation with a couple of ladies at the gym I shared that my two husbands had died and one of the women in the guise of a joke called me a black widow. It annoyed me more than anything and made me sure I'd done the right thing not to talk too much about NG, who I truly would love to be my Ch3. He is a private sort as well and we are slowly growing into what I would call a real relationship but aren't labeling it. I have mentioned to my mom (who was thrilled) and stepdaughter that I have a 'friend' (just so she won't get publicly weird about it down the line) should it become Ch3. Beyond that, all quiet on the western front, except on a few places here of course Interestingly, he made a comment a few days ago about 'when I tell my friends' about his cooking, which made me wonder if he's telling his friends about mine LOL!

There are days, momto, that it seems nearly impossible. We couldn't make this stuff up if we tried. Glad you can laugh about it!

Oh, MrsDan -- so sorry

So true, Bunny and tybec. NG and I met online also. We went to some chain place for dinner one night early on and cracked jokes after deciding to never go back again. It's remained a joke since. Good times. Online in general though is a lot weirder than I ever expected when I was searching!

That sounds like a great plan, trying. Keep roaming around in here, ask questions, and keep talking to folks. You are already ahead of the game if conversation comes easy. I struggled with that and still panic that I'll not have anything meaningful to add when NG and I get together. Sad really since we've been talking regularly since the end of May All the best!

Yes, momto, that sums it up

Amen, Sunshine -- my NG has a Harley. We haven't gone riding yet as he's about to upgrade and wants to wait until he's got the bigger one. Could also be another thread

Have fun, Sunshine!

Don't rush yourself. Heart and head need to be pretty close on this since you might encounter that person who goes gaga over you. Sort of unfair to have that happen and you suddenly realize you aren't as ready as you thought. On the other hand, if there isn't a chasm between heart and head, give it a go ... you might be pleasantly surprised

Yes, the 'nothing ventured, nothing gained' is so true. But it takes time to deal with the (as one of my dear friends says) junior high nature of the whole experience. Between two marriages and two times being widowed, I too was out of the scene for about 25 years and found it weird to attempt to date. Pop over to the online dating laughs thread and you'll see what some of us have experienced; hopefully, that will help you avoid the sand traps

Oh, wow, Amy! That is horrible but thank God you found out before more was taken from you.

Oh Rob! I am so sorry and admit I giggled through this. So sorry you've had all this occur. I wonder who that crack team of customer service specialists are at these sites and how they manage to not have real contact info available when things go kaput. I suppose there's something in those wonderful Welcome emails they send when you sign up, but now that you've investigated and all, that suggestion is a wee bit outdated All the best with your double new and improved profile!

Thanks, Needy: you bring up a great point. I was contacted last week by a female friend who I stopped associating with because her second husband gave me the creeps a bit. We'd say hi on social media but hadn't gotten together in quite some time. Anyway, she contacted me because her husband had some complications that my former husband had. I went to the hospital to see them and was able to share some information that it seemed no one had given them about what to expect with his condition. Glad to reconnect, even if it's not as close as it was before.

Good point, Semper - you may want to see who owns the sites you currently have profiles on to identify if there might be the off chance that they post to your locale. You may want to just delete them. If you aren't sure, copy/paste your fantastic profile info into a Word doc and save it to your own computer

Needy - excellent reason not to have done the speed dating. Sure Adele was wonderful! Captains - you hit it just right: all dependent on who's online when. The fraud thing is an excellent point as well; I'd read something somewhere that a number of these sites are all tied in together. I was on one and a guy messaged me. We started corresponding and he asked me something that was obviously indicated in my profile; when I said that, he asked me which site I was on. After a few rounds of Who's On First (which site are you on? this one? which one is that?) he told me he was on a totally different site. Weird. I would say the widower comment just reinforces the notion that there is no way to tell when someone is ready to date. However, sad that it was such a scarring experience that he nearly missed meeting such a wonderful person as yourself!

Happy for you, Sunshine!

Soooo ... for those who are involved in intimate relationships again: do you find yourself thinking about the next time you'll get to be with that person? I think I'm making myself crazy because I enjoy intimacy with NG quite a bit and find myself thinking about our previous encounters for days in anticipation for the next time we're together ...

Yay, CaptainsWife -- you've made my Monday! And happy birthday as well

imiss -- I think you dodged a bullet for sure. Your daughter has an intuition about this guy; I used to call it a 'vibe' when I was little and I still pay attention to it as an adult and haven't been wrong yet. And he says he's never had a 'kid' not like him before? Something creepy there ...

Oh, Sunshine! Herpes? Really?! Yes, honesty is a good thing but wow, this takes it to a new level. NG and I are still doing our weekends. I realized last week that I get to about Wednesday or Thursday and end up texting him about the weekend; I decided not to do it this week and was pleasantly surprised that he reached out. He's sometimes more of an introvert than I am He also mentioned plans for next weekend before leaving my place, which is cool. Funny on the communication thing: I was fretting for a while because we don't talk during the week. Then I realized we actually do -- on Facebook LOL! In this day and age, being able to share public but private conversations (last night we were talking about flowers and continued it online today -- nobody would have a clue as to what started it) on social media is communication ...

Momto -- that's not a horrible attitude. If he was interested for real, he'd do more than send an email occasionally. Okay, so you're worried about distance; are you willing to overcome it? That's a half hour for each of you if you met in the middle. Not a deal breaker, or shouldn't be. Now if he's hoping you'll chase him, there's that. However, if you're not feeling it's worth the effort, don't do it.

Good for you, CaptainsWife! From all the newfangled dating info I've been reading, keeping your options open is what helps you find that right one. You aren't sitting around, waiting for it to fall in your lap. The 'kissing like teenagers' made me smile. Yes, nothing like good kissing for sure NG and I went to a comedy club last weekend and for the first time it was like a storybook date ... holding hands, arm around me, all that. Not used to it at all, but it was nice. My former husband was affectionate but we didn't do this sort of stuff much and when we did, he kept his affections since I wasn't really into it. First husband was abusive, so there's that. But now, I'm ready

Oh, wow, StillWidowed! I have two dogs, one of which is a major ball of anxiety. I talk to her lovingly and still go out I am working up to being gone overnight but it's more an issue of having some extra $ to give to someone to check in on them. I have a neighbor who has graciously volunteered so I'm on my way

Cool! Hope you have good conversations!