On line dating vents and laughs......

[Guest TalksToAngels]

I'm still trying to get over the confusion I caused myself of particularly pof,

met 100% users and losers. Needed a counsellor to get me over the types of people I loathed.

Trying to seperate myself from a latest "friend" I've been seeing. Had enough grief with that site it's done forever. Wishing others better results : )

[momtokam]

A few little tidbits from me...

 

So....My gift to myself last Monday was to hide all my online profiles...Best gift I have ever received!

 

Right before I hid my Tinder, I received a match, 19km away. When we started chatting, he told me he is was back in California, where he lives, after being in my city making a proposal to.....A pipeline company!!!! Forgot to add...He is also a widower!  Here we go again I thought, another scammer! The conversation was so boring though.....My scammer was too dull to keep my attention!!!

 

I tried to have a second date with someone. I liked him personally, we are both foodies and had a lot in common. I didn't really feel a huge attraction but I thought a second meeting would be nice, when he asked to meet me again. I gave him some dates to choose from and he left me to choose. The day before, he cancelled because he was too busy due to work.  He then asked again, a week later. I was busy in the evenings during his free time, explained all my reasons, but offered a lunch on Friday (was tomorrow) which he was free for. I told him I would need to book off work, but I would be ok with that. Response I received was "Ok, maybe tomorrow If I am not too tired. I will know in the morning." I replied I would not book off work then, until I heard from him. I did later get a work call, and let him know I was no longer free. I have not heard back. Crickets! Really? So, I should have booked off work, not get paid, in the hopes that he might not be tired, and we could maybe have lunch? Not happening!

 

I really would not believe this stuff...except that it actually is happening to me!!

[Guest TalksToAngels]

I would get better results throwing a bottle in the ocean. Seriously met every deranged person there was on pof.

I punched in Google pof sucks and found I was not alone.

[Max2507]

No loss Momtokam, if he is potentially too tired for lunch he will be too tired for anything and everything else.

[momtokam]

No loss Momtokam, if he is potentially too tired for lunch he will be too tired for anything and everything else.

 

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[momtokam]

I would get better results throwing a bottle in the ocean. Seriously met every deranged person there was on pof.

I punched in Google pof sucks and found I was not alone.

 

What is funny is my one and only post wid relationship was from POF, met about 2+ years ago. That site was about the same level as the others in my area. This time, quality went way down!  I got off there in a big hurry!

[Momtojandj]

What I don't get , is all the people that do find someone online.. What I find is married, guys message than stop, message and never ask out,  it really does hurt my self esteem .. I go off them, but then go back because I'm not meeting people in real life . Ugh ..

[momtokam]

What I don't get , is all the people that do find someone online.. What I find  married, guys message than stop, message and never ask out,  it really does hurt my self esteem .. I go off them, but then go back because I'm not meeting people in real life . Ugh ..

 

Momtojandj please don't let this get under your skin. It's definitely not you. Yes, online works for some, but not for others. Some find it quickly,  some it takes longer. I  have had the same experiences as you. I think it's the same for most. The problem is, that the good ones, like us, are out there, but in much fewer numbers than all the creeps. I am sure your standards are high, like mine, and it will take longer to sift through all the losers to find our gem. Maybe on line, maybe some other way.

 

Please remember to not see it as a reflection of you in any way. 😊

[Guest TalksToAngels]

Right now I don't think or believe someone dating multiple people or just wanting to chat endlessly would be for me, especially in my age range. These people act and carry on like teenagers on a field trip. I think someone would now have to find me at the park while dog walking. The people on the dating sites view it as well ill see what's out there, and if I meet someone better, well it's ok to break people's hearts anyway, it seems that's what it's all about. I almost feel it's a virtual "the bachelor". I can date 10 people, and if it's not ok, there's plenty of other options. Broken hearts are all around, who cares if i break another ?

And if I get mine broken I can just go back to an ex, or two.

That's the new dating game.

I think I should just be happy, living alone, and being me.

[MrsDan]

What I don't get , is all the people that do find someone online.. What I find is married, guys message than stop, message and never ask out,  it really does hurt my self esteem .. I go off them, but then go back because I'm not meeting people in real life . Ugh ..

 

I met my boyfriend on OKCupid. At one point he said we could do a commercial for them. But he also found it jading I think. A lot depends on the region; where one site is great in one area, it might have nothing to offer in another part of the country. Which is a shame because there is a range in quality of the sites themselves. I joined Match a couple of times, but I found it completely useless. Way too general. I found OKCupid much more user friendly, but if no one promising is on there in your area you're kind of out of luck. I know I got really lucky. I wasn't even on it that long and I was already getting jaded. My approach was to message for a while before meeting. All my offline experiences except for one (a phone call with the guy with the dead bird who asked how many times I masturbated, see above) didn't end up being creepers. They were pretty nice guys that I just didn't have a connection with and/or attraction to. I did meet one guy after not messaging all that much, because some people here and a friend of mine prefer that approach so I thought I'd give it a try. He was nice enough, but just not the right guy. And that approach wasn't for me. It seems like I've read tons of posts saying there are nothing but creepers and scammers online. I get it, I do, and I got plenty of gross messages. But I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt my feelings a little bit. I mean, I was on there. My boyfriend was on there. A very good friend is on there. My coworker met her boyfriend on there. Besides, for some the other options are limited. I work in a female dominated profession, and the few guys I was interested in were unavailable. I don't go to bars, and I have no friends here. I'm too busy for hobbies.

[Guest TalksToAngels]

Edited

[Captains wife]

Ok - I can seriously live without the emails from men 15 years my senior (and outside my requested age range) who claim to be young in mind and body - and still plenty virile. Ugh.

[Mrskro]

Captains wife......I find those as funny as the men 15 years my junior who claim to be just attracted to older women; but don't have their shit together and just want someone to cook and clean and do their laundry for them.  Or worse still want kids (when I clearly state I do not)  UGH!

[Portside]

I don't know ladies - is it different for men than women regarding the large age differences?

 

I was 51 when I started dating again. I went out with women aged from 32 to 71 (I wasn't doing the asking out most times either). I never had a bad time but obviously not all dates were matches for me. I learned something from every woman I met.

 

I understand if you want to weed out the players and the scumbags as I had to weed out the gold diggers but could it be you may find "the One" who is outside your normal age range?

 

Good luck - Mike

[Captains wife]

Portside, for me - age makes a pretty big difference and this is partly as I have a very young child and trying to date. I have some flexibility but 15 years is too much for me - I have tried to date men up to 13 years older but it didn't work for me (in all cases).

 

On another dating vent, does anybody else hate the last minute date cancellation (from those guys who seemed so eager to meet you)? I am sympathetic to certain life issues that cause this (kids etc) but its annoying when it happens twice in a row with same person. My schedule is already tough enough to juggle around. NEXT!

[Mrskro]

Portside;

 

I don't have an issue with a large age gap either.  In my experience the young ones seem to just want a mommy figure to do the stuff they never figured out how to do; but honestly for me the ones I have dealt with either still live at home or with a roommate.  I've tried but with the younger ones it seems to me that my 16 year old is more mature and has it more together.  (although I will admit, she is the adultiest person in our house sometimes)

[Wheelerswife]

Having already outlived two husbands who were 6.5 and 5 years older than me, I would certainly entertain the idea of dating someone younger.  He must be potty trained and weaned from nursing from his mother. 

 

Maybe I should have a few other qualifications on my list?

 

Maureen

[MrsDan]

I'm 39, my boyfriend is 34.  I don't know if I could go much further beyond that range. I like being able to relate to a lot of similar things. We each have one young child; that can make a huge difference. And I'm sorry, I'm just not attracted to guys who are a great deal older. I thought maybe I could go as young as thirty. I did think, I don't want to turn someone away who might be a great match just because he was a year or two higher or lower than my desired range. So I set it to 25-45. I got accused of being a cougar. Nice. I bumped it up to 30.

[Mac]

DW and I were the same age. I've dated women who have ranged in age from 14 years younger to 6 years older than I am. Age doesn't matter much to me.

 

Early on, DD who has been so encouraging with my dating gave me the following request: "Dad, i would prefer that you would date someone who is closer to you in age than me."

 

 

 

[twistedmensa]

My husband was 17 years my senior...the age gap between myself and my daughter's father (he died in 1999) was a few years more. My mother used to tell me I was 13 going on 30 and that I had an 'old soul.' It doesn't seem to work in the opposite direction, though. Younger men just seem...well...younger...lol.

 

When I had a profile at a dating site, I got quite few hits from twentysomethings. My profile specified an age range from 45 to 55. While I'm willing to extend those ages a few years in either direction, I'm not ready to extend it that much. I aleady have two children....lol.

 

 

[MissingMyJon]

Well, for me, my first husband was just a few years older than me.  My DH was 11 years younger than me.  It is funny in that my first husband in most ways was much more immature than my second husband.  And I met my DH when he was just 21, and I already had kids from my first marriage.  He loved my kids and was very involved with them.  My DH was just the perfect balance of youthful energy and optimism wrapped in an old soul.  My DH was perfect for me, and the age was only an issue for our families.  Jon and I used to joke when I would say, when we get older.  And he would smirk and in jest say, what do you mean, "we."  I thought that since women outlive men by about 5-10 years that would be perfect for us.  We would die together.  I did outlive him in the end, but that gap will now be ridiculous.  <sigh>  Anyway, I think age isn't a factor with the right person.  It depends what qualities you want in your future mate, and whether or not qualities affected by age (such as maturity, wanting (or not) wanting a family, youthful energy, outlook on life) work for or against what you are looking for.

[Guest TalksToAngels]

Looking for someone much younger than me, with an endless bank roll, and has a garage full of antique autos.

Who wants a non committal relationship, and will give me access to their bank card.

How'd I do ?

: /

 

[Guest nonesuch]

Age is just a number, but...

 

One person who answered my ad graduated from law school the year I was born. I wasn't looking for occasional company on a platonic level, which he frankly told me he'd be.

 

Another one had numerous opportunities to tell me his age over the two months or so we emailed and phoned, but didn't.  He wasn't in great health, either.  I finally added, "Must be able to walk a 15 minute mile" to my advertisement. I *wanted* to put in things like "No nut jobs, embittered divorcees, or alkies," but that starts to sound kind of negative.  Once time I did put in, "Hey, Colonel Jack, I'm not a pro, you needn't answer this ad."

[Abitlost]

I got punked and am feeling rather foolish. I was emailing this guy who seemed perfect on the site. Then he wanted to start texting. I did my homework first -- Google image searches on his profile pics and several text searches of his verbiage plus a quick phone number search; they were all clean. So I agreed and we spent the entire day engaged in a text conversation. We must have exchanged 500 texts. He had me fooled with his vocabulary, his story was flawless, he definitely is local because he knows all the spots, schedules, nuances, etc of the neighborhood. I kept thinking this guy is too good to be true. Then something he said gave me pause. First thing this morning I asked him to send a selfie doing something specific, a hostage photo if you will. Crickets. Of course he can't produce the photo because he's not really the guy in the profile pics. What a fool I am. But what gives? What is his M.O? I. Give. Up.

[Guest TalksToAngels]

Not a huge fan of texting although it's sometimes a necessary evil.