arneal Posted November 4, 2016 Share Posted November 4, 2016 Get some, November and enjoy yourself (safely) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klim Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 Home today...taking a sick day ......trick is , I'm not sick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 All right, klim! Enjoy ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 I had sex Sunday on my way home from a "girls weekend" getaway in Indianapolis. My family assumed that I was still traveling. I let them assume that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Good for you, Virgo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 He's my fwb I have been seeing since January and can't seem to completely resist, obviously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Virgo -- sometimes we do what we gotta. NG has been gone for his new job quite a bit these last few weeks. We saw each other Thanksgiving and then he had to go out of state, so I certainly plan to enjoy his company tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Have fun!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klim Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 Last night I had a good cryfest....pure pity party for me.....it was very selfcentered. I didn't cry for my husband who lost his chance to see his kids grow up, I didn't cry for my sons who lost their dad....I couldn't see that there are people worse off or at least in the moment I didn't care. All I cared about was me!!!........that is not a good way to be! Still a little there this morning. Hopefully it will fade and I will regain my balance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted December 21, 2016 Share Posted December 21, 2016 klim -- you are not alone. I've had those moments and we deserve a time to grieve for our loss as well, no matter what that looks like. Cry as you need, love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 I'm sorry klim..... I was there last night too. I'm not sure how I will survive this week! So much still to do and all by myself....sigh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MR Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 I had those moments today while a song was played in car and couldn't control myself. All things needs to be done but by alone me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tybec Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 My confession: I love my NG. He is really wonderful in many, many ways. But I can be with him, even in after intimate moments, and DH will come up in my brain. I don't love DH like I used to, but he was my one and only since HIGH SCHOOL. Wish it would pass.... :-\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klim Posted February 22, 2017 Share Posted February 22, 2017 Sun came out the last few days.....you know what I noticed.....I don't think I dusted all winter...yuck!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted February 22, 2017 Share Posted February 22, 2017 tybec, your post from December made me think a bit ... I too love my NG. My issue is not my thoughts of LH but that LH comes up in public spaces, like on my social media. When his birthday passed, my stepdaughter tagged me in a post. She tagged me a couple days ago on something that reminded her of her dad. One of her sister-friends tagged us both in a video she had taken at our house and wrote about how she misses him. On a separate but sort of connected thing, I made a funny post this morning about running from the bathroom to the kitchen to turn off a pot I was boiling eggs in that I had forgotten about before getting ready to jump in the shower; I said I was paranoid that someone would see me A cousin (who doesn't know about NG) replied, 'Who is there to see you, other than the dogs?'. I said I had my shades open and was concerned about nosy neighbors, but it made me realize that there are people who expect me to be this stoic, single widow. That's not who I am, not who I want to be, and not who LH wanted me to be ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monique Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 I can't remember the last time I took a shower. I went out to dinner the other night in full-on Victorian-era "Widow's Weeds" so the world would know I was having a bad day and leave me alone. I go out for ice cream almost every day. I don't even really enjoy it, but it provides some small measure of comfort. I frequently called his number and left messages until his family disconnected it. And now I hate that I can't call and hear his voice anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 Monique -- {{{hugs}}} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tybec Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 Every song has a story and memory linked to my DH. I have NG, who, like my DH, is an avid and diverse lover of music. They were both DeeJays at some point! So all love songs I adore and want to share with NG belong with DH and our history. NG even sang a song to me on the phone one time, so sweet. But it was a song my DH dedicated to me when he was a DeeJay. What to do? Same era of music interests........ :-X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 tybec - does NG know that depth of history? Can you talk about the similarities? I am not suggesting detail like about the song your LH dedicated, but just the shared love of music? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tybec Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 Arneal, Yes, I have told NG my DH was a deejay, classic rock, and NG loves that music. He plays that game, name the artist, which I have played my whole life with DH. NG's DeeJay name is a name my DH used as a code name with my SIL for doing tasks, "secret missions." NG uses phrases DH used all the time. It is strange. I didn't know these things about NG until dating him over several months, so it was not something from the on line dating site or profile. I don't want him to always think I am comparing. My son hears things from NG now, and I look at him and we KNOW we have heard it before, too. Just weird and sometimes comforting, sometimes odd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 I can imagine! My NG plays guitar and his dad was a jazz musician; LH was a jazz musician. NG has played all of LHs instruments that I have in the house. Like you said here - weird yet comforting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jgib Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 This commonality is something that concerns me. I connected with someone online and his life very much mirrored DH. He even is working in the cattle industry which is what we did for so many years.... It was fairly early on and we never met and I kinda just let it fade away. Just seemed too close. After a couple of months he found me on Facebook and we reconnected. We text fairly regularly but have never met. We live 2.5 hours from each other and ranching doesn't allow much time off and he has two kids. I probably am still the problem. It all seems too close and familiar and I have major reservations! I have kept it very platonic and enjoy the friendship we have build but I know he would like to try for more. It is nice to hear that others have growing lives that seem to overlap their previous ones..... I always thought I would go in a completely different direction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tybec Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 jgib, I hear the concerns. I guess I know there is enough different about NG and DH, but the commonalities are remarkable. With only dating and marrying DH, I didn't know I had a "type." NG is super smart, geek, well traveled, speaks 3 languages, meticulous, crunches numbers for a living, overly serious sometimes, limited circle of trust and limited demonstrative affection. Can be funny, dances. My DH was the class clown, voted most mischievous in HS, didn't know a stranger, ADHD, worked with his hands, loved, hugged everyone. There are enough differences, but music and expression are big. But physical attributes and military service are there. And wanting to be the best dad ever to sons. ;D Still, comes up a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momof2obs Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 An old friend of mine offered his benefits. I accepted. It was good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Lucky you MO2, I'm envious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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