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Confessions of a widow


Tweety76
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This video is my go-to safe place. I also wish that I lived next door to these people. I also ahve introduced many people to this video. When you get around to reading Infinite Jest, Toosoon, you will really, really love this video. Ok, watching again?

xoxo

Marian

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Oh you guys, I am not a type A clean freak- it is just when i am really upset, or angry, or?fill in the blanks- I clean. cleaning calms me, because I  am the eldest of seven and it was a way to control.

And then, because life is weird and to keep it interesting, I watch dust or as my mum called it "slut's wool  " grow under the bed. Then I clean again. But certain things such as windows and fridges and bathrooms I need really clean. Odd. But then again, I don't know too many women who grwe up being gruoped with her sisters as " a bunch of filthy sluts". Gotta love the Irish.

Marian

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Okay, that was just bizarre, yet entertaining. I love how all the animals act as if it is a normal everyday occurrence.

 

I've thought about getting a Roomba, but I figured my cats would be terrified of it. I hadn't considered they could actually terrify with it.

 

Thanks for sharing the video. I must share with my kids.

 

Marian, my cats clean under my beds for me. Actually it is more that they are a notification system that it is time to clean under them again. Especially the black one, as the dust really shows on him.

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Soverysad, that is too funny- the cat acting as a duster of sorts?yes, that's what I love about the vid as well- this is everyday life in that household?I keep thinking about wrestling my Siamese into a little shark costume but he won't even entertain a little bow at Christmas?the dog, on the other hand, will wear anything.  ;D

 

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Thanks, TooSoon, for posting the Roomba link. I haven't laughed so hard since my husband was alive.

 

If you like cats, check out the "Dear Kitten" videos from BuzzFeed, in which an adult cat teaches a kitten about the ways of the household. The videos are ads for Friskies, but you almost wouldn't know it, as Friskies only enters into them at the very end.

 

 

 

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Guest TormentedTwoStep

A bar opened up across the street from me last month.  I eat most of my meals there now since I can't stand to go to the grocery or cook for one.  If it's quiet and the bartender isn't too busy, I order enough food for two and as her to split my supper with me.  That way I don't have to eat alone, and I'm guaranteed to have in person, adult conversation with at least one live human being each day.

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It has been 20 months since DH died, and I still have grocery store issues.  Food issues in general.  I make food every night for my kids.  But it is for my kids.  I have yet to have any real food cravings except maybe peanut butter.  I like peanut butter.  I don't know what to make, and most nights it is chicken salad and crackers, peanut butter and crackers, or a sandwich.  The only time I have real dinner meal is when I am with other people.  How hard can it be to figure out what food I want to eat? 

 

And speaking of cleaning, I have dusted my ceiling fan blades since Jon died.  And I have ceiling fans in every room in the house :)  I am almost afraid to dust them now, worried what creepy crawly thing might be decaying in the dust blanket on those blades.

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Guest Damiansinc

Does it count as washing the windows if I had my darling children do it this weekend?  ;)

 

YES!

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Guest TormentedTwoStep

It's been well over a year since I've had anything resembling a loving touch or a hug that was anything more than momentary and platonic.  It's been over 2.5 years since I've had sex (I know some here have suffered much longer).  I feel like I'm suffocating without human touch.  This past weekend, I looked on the backpage website looking for *ahem* services-just to ask if they would hold my hand and let me hold them for an hour or so.  And then I abandoned the idea and was ashamed of myself for considering such an unethical action.  When you're hungry you eat.  When you're thirsty, you drink.  When you're winded, you breathe.  But when you need to feel the physical manifestation of love-there is nothing when you don't have someone letting you love them.  No wonder older people die shortly after a spouse dies so often.  I wish I weren't so young and healthy somedays-and I feel guilty for cursing the blessing I have.

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Tormented,

 

Human touch is really important, especially for those who are touchy/feely. Some people don't really like much physical touch, but if you shared a lot of physical contact with your spouse, it is hard to just suddenly stop receiving it. It seems like an essential nutrient that is now missing. Your timing posting this was interesting as yesterday I was just thinking about hiring a man just to hold me tight - nothing sexual. With my luck I'd be caught and charged with soliciting or something. T used to do this thing when I felt like things were falling apart. He would wrap his arms and as much of his body as he could tightly around me and just hold me tightly. It literally felt like he was putting all the parts of me that felt like they were falling apart back together in me - squeezing all of me back into place. I really miss it, as I'm really struggling right now with everything feeling like despite all my efforts everything I've been working on is falling apart. I'm thinking surely there is a guy out there somewhere that could use some extra gas or fun money. It would cost less than a counseling session and likely do more good.

 

Sending you a useless but well-intentioned hug...

 

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How about booking a session with a licensed massage therapist? We need all kinds of touch, not just sexual.  In my early widow days I had several massages just because I needed the calming connection of touch.  Now I am in massage therapy school!  Having someone spend an hour where the only intent is to make you feel relaxed is really wonderful not to mention they can work out any kinks in the muscles too.

 

FYI if you have a massage school near you, you can probably get one pretty cheap. My school charges $20 for 50 minutes with us students and no tipping is allowed, a great deal!

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I didn't have to change the wall clock in my bedroom when we switched times this past weekend. I had never changed it the last time we switched, so it is back on time now. I meant to do it many times, but was either too busy or just didn't care enough at the time to do it. I'm not sure what that says about me.

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I didn't have to change the wall clock in my bedroom when we switched times this past weekend. I had never changed it the last time we switched, so it is back on time now. I meant to do it many times, but was either too busy or just didn't care enough at the time to do it. I'm not sure what that says about me.

 

It says you should move to Arizona where we don't have daylight savings time... rebels.

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What is it about wids and the grocery store? At 2 1/2 years I still hate it and avoid it as long as possible. My husband and I never grocery shopped together so I don't have that trigger that some people do but I seem to always run into some acquaintance who I haven't seen in forever who wants to put a hand on my shoulder and ask " how are you and the boys REALLY doing?". I tend to shop with my head down which probably explains why I always forget something. 

 

 

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We had to have our cat euthanized today due to advanced cancer. She was a sweetheart and was literally in love with my husband. She spent every moment with him that she could. After he died, she grieved for him terribly. I felt such a kinship with her. I'm hoping they've been reunited now. There is a small part of me that is so envious of her.

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SVS- I am so sorry about your cat .

It amazes me how much our animals feel and do truly grieve

I hope your husband is enjoying being reunited with her and I am sorry you had to go through this

Not only having to lose you cat companion but losing another connection to your husband

take care

 

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Losing animals is so darned rough, but if they had a connection with a lost spouse...My heart goes out to you I don't know what I'd do if I lost my dog.  I've put down one horse and lost a goat to coyotes, but they weren't around when my wife was.  Each time she does something I know my wife taught her, it's a piece of my wife that's still here. 

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SVS, I'm so sorry about your cat... we lost two of Jim's babies last summer, and the only thing I could take comfort in was the idea that they romped straight across the Rainbow Bridge and into his arms.

 

My latest confession: I bought a new mobile phone that would support Skype just so I could facetime the (single) father of my son's best friend. He's an exhibitionist and, well, horndog who likes it when someone watches him, um... *blush* It's the closest thing to action I'm likely to get, and, no, there's no talk of actually hooking up. He just likes to show off, and in all honesty, he's got plenty to be proud of. ;) But I do so miss having a real guy to snuggle and, erm...

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