serpico

^^^ You make great points. I guess I just never conceived that widowhood could be a deal-breaker, but I suppose some could see it that way. Good luck.

Widowhood seems a rather large part of our lives not to mention relatively quickly - even on a first date. I'm not picking on you specifically but I've never understood the unwillingness some widows have of bringing up the topic.

I think I'm leaning toward Klim's take on things. Yes, there are red flags but you've already acknowledged they are there. Sometimes we can play things too close to the vest and miss out on something great.

One of the many blessings of living in a small town is that everyone knew our situation when school started (Mom had died two months before school started). My youngest was starting 1st grade and her teacher had lost her Dad when she was in her early 20's, and I'm fairly certain that placement was no accident. As to your question, I would definitely make it known what your kid(s)' situation is. If you can't reach the teacher before school, maybe send an email when classes start or at least inform the principal or guidance counselor. Heck, your school secretary often knows more than anyone in the building...perhaps you could reach out to her?

Though I'm sure the desire to 'raise holy hell' is great, try to conduct yourself calmly yet firmly, and also go through the proper channels, whatever they may be. It certainly sounds like the teacher has some explaining to do.

Nah, I just like pickles. Kidding!

I've thought the same thing, though I wonder if the old board just had a larger 'backlog' of widows which this one hasn't built up yet?

Thank you!

Holy bandwidth, Batman! If any mods can shrink that sucker down, be my guest!

Or, in other words, change him And thats okay, but I think you'll have more luck if you are open about what you want to accomplish.

Wasn't sure I'd ever be able to post here, but pretty sure she's a keeper...

But what if you WERE lying, which you supported doing in your opening sentence? Couldn't he then rightfully dismiss you as someone who isn't trustworthy?

You will likely find as many good attributes as bad in your research. No embarrassment is necessary.

I guess I don't get it...you want the full story on him but are not willing to give complete and accurate information on yourself? As a potential date I would have a problem with this.

This is the first thing that struck a chord with me. Maybe I'm misreading this, but aren't you essentially doing to these two guys what the 'asshole' is doing to you? No judgments, just thought I'd bring it up.

I get this. Last month, on the eve of the second anniversary of my wife's accident, some pics from our wedding anniversary came up out of nowhere on everyone's FB feeds. I'm also in a serious relationship, and though I am of course always happy to remember my late wife, the timing made me cringe because to me it implied that I was in a different place than I actually was. So yes, in some ways what other people think - or what we THINK they think - is important to us.

As always, I imagine there are two sides to this story. Just because someone belongs to a church doesn't mean they can run the service as they wish. While it sounds like the priest could have handled it better, it also seems pretty clear that at least some members of the family felt like they were the ones in charge.

I had a similar-ish situation at roughly the same timeline, though mine wasn't a college GF but someone quite a few years younger than me. Hand-holding, smooching, hugging, check check check. And even after we broke up and I realized it would never work I would fantasize about being back with her literally day after day, and it took a tremendous amount of self-restraint not to make contact with her again. I was successful for the most part :-[ And I know this won't help now, but in my case the feelings eventually lessened, even without another 'prospect' to take her place. And now that I'm with someone wonderful I can't imagine what would have happened had my old GF not shown her true colors so early. So yes, objectively this is a win for you, but even if you realize that it probably doesn't lessen the sting very much. Good luck to you.

If you're going to address it, stick to the topic, which is her saying you 'told off' her son: "I'm sorry, there must be a misunderstanding. I haven't talked to your son in over a month" Let her take it from there, but I wouldn't try to relate or compare in any way, because as we all know, only other peoples' kids are crazy :-\

Just pray you get Piper Chapman as a cellie instead of Crazy Eyes

Continued texting is going to complicate things, and a clean break usually heals more quickly. Just my advice, but I would tell him you'd rather not have any contact for a set period. If he can't respect that you may need to block him. Good luck, these things suck the big one :-\

Grapevine gossip is seldom 100% true, so I would go directly to the source(s). Ask the ringleader or a couple of them if they have a problem with your new partner because you've heard they've been saying things. I figure you have nothing to lose. If they say 'yes' you can issue some sort of ultimatum, as in, 'this is how it's going to be, and if you want to remain part of my life you'll have to accept her and respect her'. If they don't wish to do this then it truly is their loss. On the other hand your grapevine source may have heard something out of context and maybe these women are much more supportive than you think. If this is the case I'm sure they'll be glad that you cleared the air.

This is not meant to be silly or funny, but make sure it's not too windy...

I think this is it. I mean, seriously, you're letting him do things for you that you would never be 'generous' enough to do for someone else. I'm not saying your choices are right or wrong, but there is a huge dichotomy there that would be hard to reconcile.

Sorry, from now I'll on just say (((HUGS))) :-[