BrokenHeart2

Great advise given already. What a frigging journey isn't it. Best of luck to you.

Is my current life a dream? Feels more like a nightmare. Yes I'm missing him something aweful.

Hugs to you GB

Yup me too. Finding YWBB allowed me to realize I wasn't going crazy. I found amazing support that I couldn't get from oh so many IRL. My Mom got me but that's about it. You all 'Got me' and still do.

Missing love so much. All those little things are so big in hindsight. Just that love feeling was so intense and didn't realize it then.

Not gross at all. Best of luck to you.

Well here I am awake before 6 am thinking where did the last 2 yrs of my life go and WTF am I going to do with my life now. I held a dinner last night with DHs family and my 2 20 something stepkids are here now and my niece. We had a lovely evening. I am blessed with his family and so lost at the same time. How did this happen that I am here and he isn't here with me. Oh I hate this so much. Sometimes I feel like my 20 yrs with him was a dream that somehow changed over to a nightmare. I want him back so much and I could also hear him tell me to get on with it because that's not going to happen. I miss you Babe so much.

This is all too funny! Love it lol

What the hell is metrosexual? Oh boy, this ones a winner isn't he lol

You're not alone there CBB Hugs.

Thank you! I will let you know how it goes.

Feeling so out of sorts this week. 2 ys on Saturday. Stepdaughter and I decided to have DH family here Friday evening here since Stepson has a golf tourney on Sat. One good thing was I cleaned my house today and realized OMG how long has it been since I did this? I never used to live this way. Hoping to play Bocci ball have a BBQ and bonfire. I hope it turns out to be a fun lovely evening to honour him. We'll see.

I didn't go to the wake today. I will visit the widow next week and bring a meal to her. I wasn't up to the crowd of people so I decided not to go. She will understand in time if not right away. This just all sucks. I never used to be this way.

I'm interested. I have never been to NF!

Oh yes. Especially when they do the head tilt. Ugh I just want to say STFU. I don't though, I just politely walk away. DH was awesome at walking away and leaving them with me. Grrr. I've learned to politely walk away.

I get it. This time it's not about who you are going for but where it's will be held. Many won't understand but we do. Do what's best for you in this situation. Not family or close friend. Don't beat yourself up. Sat. will be 2 yrs for me and I haven't attended a wake or funeral since. Supposed to go to a wake this Wed and a wid friend will come with me. Still don't know if I'll go. One day at a time Hugs

WTF is wrong with some people? Common sense and sensibility so lost on many. Ugh.

Hey Just Jen, i forgot to mention earlier that I actually can laugh now. I mean laugh out loud belly laugh. I couldn't imagine that would ever happen again but it did. Hang on to one day at a time. Its not easy but it's doable. I'm still doing one day at a time some days. And by the way, it may be irrational and petty to those that haven't gone through this and we have, we get it. Hugs

Hugs...... What more is there to say. Widowhood sucks.

"Constipated chicken" I love it. Lol cherished memories.

jlp, my DH's widowed Aunt and another widowed Uncle call me to check up on me, they know. My own aunts and uncles never call me. I have 60 first cousins and only one has been there and 5 siblings I rarely hear from. Insane isn't it. Your Aunt sounds like a kind wonderful Lady. Hugs

Glad to hear you are healing well. As for that idiot drunk driver, try to find solace in what goes around comes around. You may never know but it will. Hugs to you SVS

I'm interested. Will be my first bago. I planned one a while back and couldn't attend because of dang snow. Shouldn't be a problem this time

I hope you had a good progressive day. From your post it sounds like you were in the right track and hope it stayed that way for you. It must have been so difficult at times but hey, we know all about that don't we. Hugs to you

Great advise given. Drink lots of water. Crying is dehydrating. Be gentle with yourself. I don't often post in 1 to 6 months as the pain is unbearable and sometimes too fresh for me. I ventured here and saw your post. Not that you can believe it right now but the pain will ease in time. I didn't believe t but it happened for me. Next week will be 2 yrs and I will always hold DH in my heart but I can't let his death destroy me. I pray you find a a bit of comfort somehow. Hugs to you.