BrokenHeart2

Hey Just Jen, I remember thinking I too "but not me". Hang on JJ. I'm coming onto 2 yrs a week from today. It's not great or even good at times, I cansay for me it is getting better. Oh there are still rough waves to endure but they are not as frequent, sometimes intense and sometimes not as intense. Our grief is all different and with some similarities. Hugs to you.

Glad to hear you are home but just don't over do it. Take it easy and heal Hugs!

I have to agree with Look2thesky. So true, move on MissingSquish, you deserve better!

Yup. So right, and on and on it goes.

Not stupid at all. That's why it took me almost 2 years to watch a hockey game. We had so much fun doing that together. I completely get it. Hugs

Please inspire me Marion! I sure could use it

I used to do so much to get things done.,,,now,,, I just don't give a fuck about much. Ugh, I hate it. That's not who a was or want to be. It's got to change. But when and how is my question. Just putting it out there.

Well said Anniegirl. Keep on keeping on Jen. Hugs

I'm hearing you Questions. You sound like what I'm living too. I am slowly pulling out of that mode but it's not so easy. It's nice to have some support to do it and I'm getting it a bit hang in there dear lady. We'll all get through this somehow Hugs

Sorry for your loss SVS. Shocking there would be any cost to the family for any organ donor process. That doesn't sound right at all.

Yup, I felt like I had a big W stamped on my forehead. It's lessened now nearing 2 yrs but earlier on it was so weird.

Late 20's, only met her a couple of times....nope, I wouldn't. If she asks then you can be gently honest otherwise I'd stay out of it. Just sayin I hope it all works out well.

Carey, it's not silly at all. I completely understand why you feel cut off at the knees. Hugs to you

Hugs to you Smabify

I thank you all for your amazing support. I just love my Widds! Not a lot of change as of lately. My Mom is one strong Woman. She wants to go 'home' I'm so sad but I get it. She has been bedridden for yrs and one of the strongest ladies I've ever known. Another bittersweet in this insane world. Some days I hope I'm not as strong as she is. How insane or crazy does that sound? Ugh?

I don't feel anywhere BAG at all. Not going there yet. Would love to but just not ready. Oh fuck I just want this pain to end but I'm just not ready and I can't speed it up. I don't want to bury it either so I'm just going to go through it. I can't imagine carrying it and drag me down much more than it has, so I will go through no matter how long it takes. I've always been one to resist change so this is a tough one for me but I think as I get older my resistance to change has reduced. This one is too huge to try to get around. Just hope I can open my heart again. Don't know about that right now.

So well said Cyndi. Sounds like you wrote about my life. Big hugs to you on your sadiversary.

Shortly after DH died I stopped all posting to his 'wall'. It's still there but not open to anyone posting to it. This past Easter Sunday I was getting ready to go for Easter lunch and His very old friend John knocked to the door. Hadn't seen him in 4 yrs beacause he lives hrs away and when he come 'home' he always stops in. It was so sad and aweful I had to break the news to him about my DH and BIL ( died within 2.5 months) I will be taking down his profile in the next few weeks. Needs to be done and the kids agree so it will happen These days to me it's Fakebook ( don't mean to offend) it is what it is.

Great advise given. The biggie for me is 'appropriate boundaries'. My DHs ex was/is horrid with that and has been for the 20 yrs I was with him. You do what's best for your Daughter and you. Doesn't matter if they are family, inlaws or exes, boundaries need to be set Hugs

Sorry Smabify. Didn't mean to go off the rails.

Couldn't agree more Linda5. DH used to always say get out and find something for you. I wished I had listened to him. I was too busy and tired.

Haha socialized medicine. Lol haha when I stop laughing I'll respond. I am a CANADIAN all my 54 yrs. socialized to an extent. In Ontario we now have to pay a 'premium' um...TAX, and the system is still broken and only getting worse. Stop drinking the kool aide. So much can happen to improve it all but the system 'beauracracy' is so huge it will take for ever if ever. Shameful waste if you ask me.

Uhg is this what dating has become. I'm not at all into on line dating so I guess I'll be alone. Eww No problem I'm not ready for dating anyway. Maybe someday.

JJ your words are always welcome. The only dummy ones are the ones unspoken : Thanks Virgo you are so right and I don't plan to step away completely. After my DH died she was one of the very few that got me and has had my back for the past 2 yrs. I think that's why this is doubly hard. I'm now not only losing my Mom but also my best friend and my rock in this horrid journey. She guided me all of my life. How can I do this? How can this be happening? I just can't do the emergency stuff It's to raw and hard for me right now. I will always do best by my Mom though. Even if my dickhead siblings do whatever. I'm used to that. How can this be happening?

I have 5 siblings and they are all being really weird. They think I should be taking care of,fMom because I'm not working and I have always done it. Well since I lost DH 23 months ago and I did Friday, I told them I am done. Did it for 8 yrs with Mom don't have the strength to take Mom through the halls I did with DH 2 yrs ago. Figure it out. Oh, lashback, they don't like to hear that. Too fucking bad. Take care of it for a change. I do have 2 brothers that have stepped up. Thank God for them