linda5

SB, what a great opportunity you gave your son! You're letting him spread his wings and grow. Really proud of you for letting him go live at your parent's house.

Mel, so glad you've got this positive attitude. Thinking of you!

I'd like to know the answer to that too!

Awe, that just breaks my heart. I agree with Too Soon, perhaps play therapy with a counselor would be good for him.

Maureen, thinking of you!

Hey, I just want to take this opportunity to tell you that you are doing a great job with M! I know that I don't see you and M, but if she's feed, happy, and thriving, you're doing a GREAT JOB!

I feel the same way. My husband's passion was writing novels. He had one published, one waiting to be in print when he died, and two he was working on. I feel that my daughter should finish his book (she went to MIZZOU Journalism School), but she wants no part of it. I don't know if it hurts more to be doing something that her Dad loved and makes it that much more poignant, or if she's afraid she'll let him down. We're almost at 3 years now, and I've learned to let his dreams go and for the rest of us not to feel guilty.

My 45 year old boss thought he was having a heart attack at work and called on me. I remained calm, called 911, and took care of him. The only reason I was able to remain calm and keep him calm was that I was thinking to myself, "Is this all you can throw at me? I've seen worse. You're still breathing and my DH died."

So happy for you both! Congratulations!!

Beautiful.

I censor what I write on facebook because I don't want our daughters to think I'm not doing well and bring their spirits down. I'd love to write exactly how I feel, but I stop short when I think of my daughters.

This will be my 3rd Christmas without my DH. It's not as sad as last year. Bought a smaller tree, decorated with ornaments that mean nothing to me. I guess I'm just indifferent this holiday season; I feel like I've got a big void in my life and I just don't know how to fill it.

St. Louis here.

Congratulations!

So happy for you Maddalena! I hope to have a Chapter II someday, as you just showed me it can be done. Enjoy!!

((Jen)), just want to send you a big hug. I feel like I take two steps forward and one step back. Let's just keep taking those steps. I feel it's okay to yell at your Mom. Until they lived it, they don't know what they're talking about. Sending you hugs and more hugs.

I think I had my freak out when I finally realized he really, truly wasn't coming back. There was a big part of me that thought, okay he died suddenly, but if anybody could come back and cross that divide it would be my husband. He loved me too much not to argue with God to make sure it happened. Once I realized he didn't have that power and really wasn't coming back is when I freaked out. Just hang on. Your not crazy. I'm now at 2 3/4 years and I can't say it's easier, but it is something I've learned to live with. Sending you hugs!

I was one that thought I didn't need a counselor, that they can't change what happened, so I need to just deal with it. Well, apparently I wasn't dealing with it appropriately and my VP of my company insisted I call the Employee Assistance Program and talk with a therapist. I wish I would have found a "real" counselor and not just gone to the free one. She was of no help to my daughters or me. Since it was sudden, they gave us somebody that thought this would be easy and we would have unresolved issues with DH/Dad to work through. We didn't, he was a great husband and Dad, so then she didn't know what to do with us. I guess the old saying is true, you get what you pay for. Now none of us will ever go to counseling again. Wish I would have done by homework back then and found a good counselor.

Boy, am I craving a great big giant bear hug right now. Sure miss feeling safe and protected.

And then, you can't believe it didn't kill you. I quite honestly was shocked that my heart still continued to beat after the death of my husband.

Praying for you and your family in the days to come, Alexswife.

I love my wedding rings, for the beauty they possess, and for the reminder of the beautiful life I shared with my husband. I did, at 2 years, have it resized to my right hand. I will never take it completely off.

RWS, I'm 2 1/2 years out and there are days where I don't think I can go on. I just never know what's going to set me off. I got a raise at work, was proud and excited for about 2 minutes. Then went back to my desk and started to pick up my phone to tell my husband ... then put the phone back down. I could have told my children, but they would decide what to spend it on! It hurts and I believe there will always be a part of me that will never heal. Please come here and vent whenever you need to. As you said, it's our only outlet and others just don't understand. Wishing you a better future.

Mikeeh, congrats to your son! A perfect score on driving! I still can't parallel park properly!! All these moments when we're so proud of our kids now has some sadness attached to it. Why can't a happy day be just that anymore, a happy day? Sounds like you've got a pretty good son ... you and your wife did a good job. Now hold on to your hat because graduating from high school and going to college is right around the corner!

I also heard you. I don't know why we have periods when we're coping and then we get knocked down to our knees. Please don't blame yourself. The situation was hard on all of you. I'm sorry to hear of your health issues. I'll be praying that you have a complete recovery.