Trying

I agree, just enjoy it and see where things go. Those head over heels feelings are intoxicating and should be savored. Be careful of too much future thinking in these early days (easier said than done!) and enjoy discovering more and more about each other.

Mangomom, it is terrifying sending them off to school but I really think it can be the best thing and I hope eventually it will be for my son too. Klim and Bluebird, thank you for sharing your stories, it is hard to know what is teen angst, personality or grief. For me it's the dramatic change in him, the fact that he can look me in the eye and tell me everything is ok, that is doing what he's supposed to, and then I find out it's all a lie and he breaks down about how unhappy he is. He really had such a bright future and is so far off track right now. I don't care if the path has to change I just want to see him taking steps to find the right path.

My kids and our home. It's not as stable as I would like sometimes, this dock needs some TLC and shoring up to be strong enough for the long haul. When I venture out it usually a quick trip to a safe, well known harbor for some change of scenery with friends or with new guy, then right back to my own dock.

Make me a mojito and I will gladly grade a few essays for you! I've got fresh mint and a red pen so I am ready to go.

It depends on the size and probably different depending on where you live. Mine was around $150 I think and I could have it as long as I needed.

I agree with the other posters, we all grieve in our own way and we each grieve in different ways at different times. I'm not sure how old your children are but their reaction is the only thing I think you need to worry about, not anyone else's judgement. I think it's important for our kids to know that we are grieving even if we look fine and busy and competent on the outside. You don't have to display your grief in any way that isn't authentic to you but they need to be comfortable that if they want to express their grief differently than you that it's ok. One of the best things for me about being here and around other widows IRL is that validation that my way is ok even if it's different than someone else's way. My 18 year old is having a hard time with this concept.

Jess I got a dumpster in the fall and it felt amazing! I have a long way to go but I'm probably looking at 2 years before I'm ready to move. Happy purging!

I'm so happy for you! Thanks for sharing your good news.

Got my list complete this past week! We are getting ready for a getaway to Florida Wednesday so this weeks list is short and mostly about getting ready for vacation. I have to work today, Monday and Tuesday so I need to be organized. -put a hold on mail and newspaper delivery -get a mani/pedi because my toes are making their spring debut! - last minute toiletries and sunscreen -pack and help youngest pack -Send my mom Easter flowers since we won't get to see her - confirm coverage for my patients while I'm away and email treatment plans - make reservation for Easter lunch in Florida for us and inlaws I have always been a "list" person, I need to start posting here more consistently, you are all very motivating!

I feel at a crossroads with my career too. I still love the direct patient care but all of the administrative aspects of my job drag me down and zap my motivation. I am isolated from contact with colleagues which is much more of an issue now that I don't have DH to come home to and share my day with. I feel like it's time for a complete career change but don't have a clear direction of what I would want to do. I want to be excited and stimulated by something new.

Questions it looks great! It will be so much fun for you to watch it grow and fill in and the flowers around the base will really add a pop. Your home and front yard are very inviting, from your descriptions in the past I wasn't expecting it to look so perfect. You have a lot to be proud of! I'm also more than a little jealous of the green grass and outdoor BBQ since we are still a combination of snow and mud here!

1. Had a fun girls night out with my SIL, DHs cousins wife, and 2 friends 2. Finally told my SIL all about new guy and she is very happy for me and supportive 3.getting ready for a much needed 5 day get away with the kids over Easter

It's so frustrating when people like soccer mom can't read the signals that it's not the time or place for such a discussion, well meaning or not it was more about her than you. I'm so sorry that you had to see the news coverage of a work accident that brought back such tough memories, I can't imagine how tough it was to see those images on TV. I think of that when ever there is a tragic story that is excessively covered on the news, somewhere there is a family who is suffering and the news exploits it.

I hope today went well, can't wait to hear your update!

DonnaP my first trip was to Universal in Orlando with sons2 and 3 just 6 months after DH died. We are returning next week for Easter break and bringing son # 1 this time. It's an easy place to make boys of very different ages(10-18) happy and low stress for me. I would love to return to Turks and Caicos where we had 2 amazing family vacations with DH

How did it go??? I came here hoping to see an update from you. I'm so sorry that a job interview can't just be about the job and you have so many other factors to worry about. I am totally impressed by you taking the big step and going to the interview!

Mangomom, 14??? That's crazy! I did get to sit in with his therapist yesterday and talk about my concerns and my need for parenting advice. The plan is to bring me back in periodically but the first step is getting son to show up. My therapist is helpful, giving me strategies and ways to talk to my son. She recommended this therapist after hearing about my son for the last year and a half and a failed attempt with her partner. The hardest thing for me is that my son was on a great path before his dad died and he was totally derailed. I'm so scared it's going to mess up his future and cause permanent damage. Worrying about him sucks up all of my emotional energy and I have 2 other kids to raise, they need my full attention and aren't getting all they need from me.

Crock pot recipes are a big help, tacos are easy and quick, quesadillas are quick (left over chicken, shredded cheese, veggies if you like, soft tortilla in a pan), I make a big pot of sauce and meatballs on a weekend and freeze in separate containers for single meal, and anything on the grill (easy clean up). I get in a cooking rut too, same old thing week after week.

Definitely lollipop and sippy cup for takeoff and landing. A new toy and special snacks will help to occupy. If she's old enough to watch a video on an iPad that is always good too. We travelled a lot when my older 2 were little (longest from CT to Hawaii when they were 2 and 4) and there were no iPhones or iPods back then but we had a portable DVD player that was a life saver. I also always made necklaces out of shoe string licorice and front loops cereal that they only got on airplanes. Sounds like an awesome trip, have fun!

I have posted many times about the struggles my oldest son, 18, has had since DH died. To recap, he failed out first semester freshman year of college because he wasn't going to class. Whenever we spoke he said everything was great. He injured his shoulder swimming competitively (he did manage to go to swim practice) and had to have surgery for the second time (first time was 6 months after his dad died). So his surgery and recovery time have been the official excuse as to why he is home this semester with only a few people knowing the whole truth. My conditions of him being home included therapy/grief counseling and getting a job once he was cleared to take sling off. Sling has been off for 2 weeks and still no job then I find out he's been no showing for therapy. Yesterday I went with him to therapist and the amount of pain he is in is excruciating to witness. He has agreed to 10 sessions but needs me to take him and sit in the waiting room so he won't back out. I will do ANYTHING to help him get better and move forward with his life but I can not let him sit in the house doing nothing any more. It's driving me crazy and I know that the inactivity and isolation is not helping his depression. How hard can I push him when he is so fragile? I want to build him up by having him take on more responsibility but if he really can't handle it I don't want to set him up for more failure. I thought he would be further along in therapy but he wasn't going when I thought he was and he's 18 so his therapist had to get creative to let me know (left a message for son on our home phone). I don't know how I can send him back to school in the fall when he hasn't made any progress yet. Anyone who has experience dealing with young adult kids suffering from depression that is interfering with them being productive, I would appreciate any advice.

You might have widda brain if you need to write yourself a "to do" list of places to stop on your way home from work, don't even realize you left it at home until you get home from work and see it sitting on the desk. Then you add two more items and forget the list again the next day.

Same for me, I was an avid reader, I was in a book club for 13 years that broke up right after DH died. I always read the bookclub book and usually at least one more book every month. Last summer I managed to read a few books on vacation but then back to not reading again. I miss it but my concentration just isn't there. I'm taking the kids a way for a few days over Easter and hope to be able read a book while we are gone.

Open is great but knowing grandpa is doing weekend overnights at a lady's house, or more than one lady? TMI! Aside from that it probably is a good way to introduce the idea of dating and how it doesn't mean grandpa doesn't miss grandma and let them translate that into the idea of you dating at some point. A little talk with Dad about what is appropriate to share is probably a good idea, men can be clueless about that stuff.

For me it's going through the motions, doing what I'm supposed to be doing yet feeling completely disconnected. If the slightest thing deviates from my plan I no longer know how to adapt or react because I have learned that the worst case scenario really does happen sometimes. It's the feeling of panic threatening to bubble up to the surface if I don't find a distraction quickly enough.

I think if it comes up, a simple statement of the facts and keep the conversation moving. They don't need details. Focus on what they need to know which is that you are able to relocate and that you have family in the area. Good luck with the interview! I can't wait to hear what you think about the job.