SoVerySad

I'm 3 years out and still sleep with the TV on low for noise as my husband was a snorer as well (and then got a c-pap machine, so I was used to that noise). I also slept on the sofa for months instead of going to bed without him. As Kate said, we all do what gets us through. Sending you hugs...

Two new meetups posted for those who might be interested in attending.

LTSL, Do not fault yourself for not feeling hope right now. It is very hard to feel any sense of hope when you are in such tremendous pain. I remember feeling that the only hope I could ever have would require my husband to come back which couldn't happen. So hope wasn't possible at that time. Those of us who have been exactly where you are want you to know we understand how excruciating it is. We also want you to know that we have found a way to keep living, despite the pain. We want to encourage you that while you may not be able to believe it now, you can do it as well. We'll be here to support you as others supported us when we didn't think we could make it either. Sending you love and tight hugs...

Thank you all for the words of support. I appreciate knowing it's not just me. TS, I'm glad you got a chuckle. Laughter is always good.

Always love to see good news and know one of our group has found happiness again. I'm happy for you! Hugs...

TS, You are showing up as a member. Thank you for joining. You should have received a welcome email, though. Can you double check if you got one? If not, I'll have to look at how I set it up. Since it is all new to me, I may have done that part incorrectly.

I imagine adjusting to them being gone is hard for both you and your daughter. I really do think in the long run it will be best for your continued relationship, though. The resentment seemed to really be building to a place that might have broken your relationship forever. I can see how it might feel as if you are starting all over again with your grieving for your wife. Hopefully having a less tense situation at home will allow you the time to more peacefully work your way forward from your wife's death. We know it isn't easy, so we'll be here to help support you. Sending a tight hug...

I know not everyone feels comfortable posting in such a forum, but I wanted to get a message to you. Please know that everyday I think about my fellow wids all over the world and wish for them to find some comfort and peace. This is such a painful experience to bear. I'm terribly sorry that each of you have ended up suffering such a great loss. Sending each of you a tight hug of understanding.

Whew - good job recovering her clothing. I agree this will be one of those funny family stories that is shared for years to come. Hugs...

Terrific news update! Hooray! Hugs...

It would have been nice to see you, L. I'll be adding more things to the calendar, so maybe you can come another time. Hugs...

Sending you love and tight hugs, AW. You brought tears to my eyes talking about going through your house finally. It took me a long time to go through T and my house as well. Although we had very different lengths of marriage (I so wish yours could have been much longer), I think we both had really special men that have been so hard to live without. It is hard to experience exquisitely beautiful memories that can bring you the best feeling and yet be accompanied by so much pain at the same time. Maureen is so right. Alex will always be part of you. You are so lovely inside and out. You deserve much happiness and love. More hugs...

I don't know if it because it is Springtime or what, but I am going thru another spell of feeling such envy when seeing other couples together. I don't like feeling envious. It is such a negative emotion. Yet I'm stuck in a serious case of it right now. Sometimes the strangest thoughts go through my head. Earlier today I saw a Lays potato chip commercial with Mr & Mrs Potato Head in it. I thought to myself, look even Mr. and Mrs Potato Head still have each other. What is the normal life span of a potato? I try to combat the envy with remembering all the amazing times I shared with my T and reinforcing I once had that as well. I just have no idea why this envy has come back so strongly as of late. Another else experience recurrences of this?

LTSL, I'm sending you some very tight hugs. The pain is tremendous. I often felt like there was no way I could continue to bear another minute of it. I have managed to, but it takes time to lessen. As Mizpah said, that timeframe is different for everyone. One of our members, Wifeless, told me in a post probably very close to when I was at your timeframe to remember that I would not always feel the way I did then. I really held onto those words and can say with some time having passed, he was right. Unfortunately, that doesn't help much with the current pain you are feeling, but I hope it can give you some hope to hold on to. I remember the 5-6 month timeframe being especially difficult for me. I'm sorry you are hurting so much. More hugs...

Just checking in to see how your niece is doing. I hope she is continuing to make progress.

Oh no!! That is rather funny. I hope you can get all her things back. I suggest blaming it on widow's brain. If we have to suffer through it, we should at least be able to use it to our advantage for a situation such as this. Please make sure to post an update so that we know you survived.

I would literally give up everything I own (my children don't count since I don't own them) for one night of having T back to snuggle with, fall asleep in his arms, and most importantly, have his handsome face be my first sight in the morning.

Our minds sure can play havoc with us, SB. I'm sorry yours has been leading you to these upsetting dreams. Sending tight hugs...

I'm so sorry for pain of this trigger for you. Those unexpected ones can really hurt. Sending you tight hugs...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom, Donswife. Sending you love and tight hugs...

I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your husband, especially at such a young age. I, too, lost my husband suddenly (a fatal heart arrhythmia). It is normal to feel lost and in shock at this point. Please remember to drink plenty of water to help replenish your body from all the tears you've shed. I understand replaying your argument that day, but try to remember that it was only a tiny blip in the 10 years you had together. If you can let go of feeling guilty about that, it will help. It didn't cause your husband's death. This forum (and its predecessor) truly were a lifeline for me when I found it. I hope you will find comfort and understanding here as well. We are here to support you. Sending you a tight hug...

I've struggled with concentration for reading as well, much to my lament as a former avid reader. I'm re-reading Jane Eyre as part of my son's school assignment. I also have started reading Damien Echols' Life After Death. He was sentenced to death and spent 18 years on death row for horrible child murders he didn't commit. I've seen him interviewed and been intrigued by his strength to endure what he went through. I'm hoping to get some personal inspiration.

Thank you for the important reminder, MrsT. It doesn't sound preachy, it clearly is coming from a caring place. I actually have been guilty of this a few times lately due to some sleepless nights. I need to do better to avoid this at all costs. Tight hugs to you...

How very sad. Sending you hugs and condolences to all who loved him, especially his daughter.

She is indeed beautiful, BH2. How great that they're able to have her up sitting. And no oxygen? Wonderful. Keeping those positive thoughts going out to her. Thank you for letting us know how she's doing. It is nice to hear good news. Hugs...