called a MILF

[imissdow]

My 18yo DD came home from work and told me what her boss had said about me.  He said I'm a MILF. Now just for the record my ex, her bio-dad  who also works there has referred to me in the same manner.  This doesn't seem to bother her at all.  I however find it highly inappropriate and offensive.  Now I realize that others have probably thought the same thing however I have never actually  had my DD tell me about it. I asked one of my guy friends if I come off in a manner that would suggest that I would be ok with this label. He assures me it's not how I present myself but he also told me he is not surprised that someone said that. I have over the years had other people tell me as much in many different ways.  Heck one guy actually had the guts to ask what I charge, I told him I was way more then he could afford.

 

So am I being overly sensitive? Maybe this real problem is I heard it from my DD, after all I would never  have had such a conversation with my mom.  I feel like I have just been made a object and that really bothers me.  Not that I really think that guys look and me and think what a great personally. Or maybe these guys think their paying me a complement. I just don't get it. 

[Guest TooSoon]

All other considerations aside, you are kind of awesome.  You might be a MILF.    Just keep doing what you're doing and finding some room for your own personal growth.  Lots of love from us.

[Trying]

Totally inappropriate for a "boss" to say that to an 18 year girl about her mother!!! Your daughter should've punched him in the mouth for saying that about her mother. I may sound like an old fart but where the hell is the respect and on what planet does someone think that being called a MILF is a compliment?!

[THATgurl]

I do have to say that this term does seem to have become fairly commonplace and from what I know it does not tend to carry the connotations many of us here seem to attribute to it.  I may be wrong, but it usually seems to me that people are using it where people would have said "very attractive" years ago and "smoking hot" in the not too distant past.  I really dislike the term, personally, but I don't think people typically mean it the way I hear it.

 

That said, I am disgusted that a "boss" would say this to an 18 year old about their mother.  I know kids will say it to each other ("your mom's a total MILF"), but a boss saying it to an 18 year old - IDK.  I am assuming he is considerably older than her when I have this fairly strong negative reaction, but I am not entirely sure that matters?

 

I guess I am just rambling away trying to say that I think your reaction makes perfect sense BUT I would not assume that this man meant anything more than "your mom is stunning". 

[Gabzmom]

I think the part that has me particularly bothered and offended is that a supervisor would speak in such a manner to his employee, an 18 year old young lady.  How inappropriate of him.  He demonstrates a lack of maturity and a lack of class. 

 

With that said, continue to hold your head high. 

[thejourney]

At the risk of being chastised on this board , I will offer a male opinion!

First - It is VERY wrong to speak with an employee like that and wrong to speak to an 18 year old girl like that.  So many things wrong with it and frankly, opens him up for a lawsuit.  I would not ever go there, but that is just the dumb kind of thing that could cost him his job IMO.

As for the term - it is a compliment but loaded for sure.  I would simply take it as the compliment - people notice you and think you are attractive.  And with an 18 year old daughter, that is something to be proud of.

If it were reversed, I would be thrilled to be called a FILF.  For some reason, that never seems to come up.

[StillWidowed]

I have a child your age.  I've also been called a MILF on more than one occasion.  Her boss doing it?  Wrong.  Taking offense to it?  Eh...you can if you want, but I don't.  I figure there will come a day when I'm NOT called a MILF anymore and will be more offended by that!

[MikeR]

I agree with Marlo Thomas (THATgirl - yes, I'm old enough to remember the TV show).

 

It's a sad commentary that the term has become commonplace enough to mean a somewhat older person (well, a female person) who is attractive. Given that, it is a complement. However, from her boss it is completely inappropriate. 

 

It seems that as widow/ers we have to put up with stupid stuff like this. One problem is that we are more sensitive to such insensitive comments than are the general public. Yet another cross (sorry, I'm Catholic) we must bear.

 

Mike

 

[Portside]

Another man's opinion here.

 

If it were me, I'd seek out the offender and beat the living shit out of him with a baseball bat in front of his peeps.

 

After he recovered, I'd inform him that his actions were that of a little-dicked, cowardly, rude wuss and if I ever hear of him saying it again, I'd track him down and give him another lesson, and the next time, I'd REALLY be pissed.

 

Guys and gals, the phrase is not nice or cute by any stretch of linguistics or popular usage. It's a horrible, condescending, completely out of line thing to say to any woman - especially to a daughter.

 

What a prick.

 

Mike 

[soloact]

Great post, Mike. I agree with you. He definitely suffers SD syndrome.

[fairlanegirl]

I'd say your daughter's boss saying such a thing to your daughter is revolting on a few levels, but just being called a MILF wouldn't necessarily bother me, I'd probably find it funny. "Ha, in your dreams, buddy!" Actually my bloke might have even used it in jest... As often the case, context is all.

A FILF sounds like fun, especially if he has a lisp :-)

[Brenda]

MILF is a pretty classless way to refer to anybody and it has no place being used in polite society outside one particular movie (which was, IMO, pretty amusing, but that's where it stays.)  The boss sounds like a moron, and it makes me wonder what else he's doing and saying around your daughter.  Anyone saying that tends to be a sleazy guy who nobody would ever want to eff.

[Sugarbell]

Eh gawd...Is her boss younger like in his 20's or so? Younger than you anyway? I have found that for some bizarre reason younger men--Feel they are complimenting older women (I am referring to any of us in upper 30's 40's) if they call you a MILF. The only time I heard that term used was the 3 weeks I was on the dating these 20 something guys would call me that and I blocked them. I honestly think these morons thought it was ok to say it.

 

The boss sounds immature and unprofessional. If I was a betting woman I would guess he's in his 20's.

[BrokenHeart2]

I just googled This and I'm appalled any boss would say this to any employee let alone an 18 yr old girl. Sickening actually.  What a dickhead.  Great response Portside!

[Abitlost]

There is a rather large societal problem if one thinks a declaration of wanting to fuck a mother for his own satisfaction is in any way a compliment. In my opinion, it exacerbates the issue when others brush it off as the vernacular of the day or as another way to say "very attractive" or ?smoking hot?. No, imissdow, you are not being overly sensitive; it is never acceptable to state a mother is someone you would like to fuck, with or without the acronym.

 

abl

 

Edited to remove the vulgar graphic of what the term mean. I originally put it there because society has become quite desensitized which is not a good thing.

[Trying]

Why is it that older women are called Cougars, like they are out on the prowl for young meat or MILF, meaning we are fuckable on a whim.  Mature men are called "gentlemen" maybe "hot older guy" or "a good catch".  Young girls don't say hey, I'd fuck that old guy and not be embarrassed to tell my friends.  It shouldn't be a big surprise that women can be sexy, desirable and beautiful at any age.

 

 

Sorry for the blunt language, just a sore subject coincidently for me right now.

[singinmomo4]

Another man's opinion here.

 

If it were me, I'd seek out the offender and beat the living shit out of him with a baseball bat in front of his peeps.

 

After he recovered, I'd inform him that his actions were that of a little-dicked, cowardly, rude wuss and if I ever hear of him saying it again, I'd track him down and give him another lesson, and the next time, I'd REALLY be pissed.

 

Guys and gals, the phrase is not nice or cute by any stretch of linguistics or popular usage. It's a horrible, condescending, completely out of line thing to say to any woman - especially to a daughter.

 

What a prick.

 

Mike

 

Completely agree with Mike on this one. On another note,  I think if I ever need someone to defend my honor, I'm calling Mike. 

[mmg19]

Thank you Mike for your response.  Nuff said.

[imissdow]

Thanks mike,  these days I'm feeling like I need a guy to speak up for me. To often when a gal tells a guy he's out of line he doesn't take it seriously and I'm about tired of being told I'm over reacting.

 

As far as the boss goes I wouldn't be surprised if somehow my DD started this whole line of talk.  She doesn't do it around me she knows it would bother me.  She however works with bio-dad and he seems to think this is normal conversation no matter how many times I tell him he's out of line. She is the only kid that still talks to him and I don't know how much longer that will last. She now ignores him more often then not.

[MeAndTheKids]

For a slightly different perspective, my daughter worked in a day care and the teachers & teacher aides  (ranging in age from 18-40+) regularly rated the Dad's who dropped off their kids (a/k/a 'DILF').  It was a game; tacky, but still just a game with no malice behind it and no regard to age differences up or down.

 

PS:  It is WAY more tacky and inappropriate for a boss to say it to a teenage employee but unless he's a total creeper to him it was meant to be a silly compliment.