Julester3

Hugs! It's always a work in progress - searching within ourselves to find what can help us find a sense of happy.

Oh my gosh! What an evil witch!

I got a similar offer once but I didn't have to pay him, he wanted to experience an older woman. 🤔 Uh no thanks you! I'm never that desperate for human contact!

Holy craptastic, not really a friend! That lady is taking out her own issues on you. Good riddance! Sorry that probate went terribly too. I'm still in my required 6 month announcement/waiting period. I started late. I thought the house was mine but when we refinanced the bank took me off. We didn't notice. My lawyer found it. Sucks all the things we have to do in our situations! Hugs today!

Adding in a hug!

I agree. You did the background work and now you can give her an opportunity to be a part of the decision making process. It will make your bond stronger. It makes you a team rather than just parent and child and you giving them some trust. I also have an 8th grader and she opted no on this trip. We have been to DC a few times when their dad was alive and she wants to keep those memories to herself awhile longer.

Rain as troublesome as it can be is historically lucky for weddings! Thank you for the update! It sounds like it went beautifully and I'm glad you got a nice honeymoon before you guys tackle as a united front. Big hugs!

I know we can't make even half of the stuff up that really happens! It's like reading one of those stories on FB and you tell yourself, wow...then it happens and it's surreal!

Hugs Rob! Please take your time and be kind to yourself! There's no set time frame or firm rules you need to follow just what works for you and yours sons. I'm 18 months out and my husband's things are exactly where they should be. I haven't purged or dumped or given way much of anything. There's a comfort in seeing evidence of him in our home still. Keep busy to keep the mind working g but not wandering, celebrate life's small daily victories, lean on your support system as you need to. This widow business sucks but we survive it for some reason.

Watching that Nintendo world championship makes me want to charge my DS and play random games again.

Omg, just finished watching the Nintendo World Championships and now back to watching Empire Strikes Back. Various SW movies have been on all day and I've been tuning in and out all day. Also about to kill my naughty cat who just peed on the couch. He's mad about something but I'm not pleased with him! Late night dinner of cleaning out the freezer too! Fun widow times here!

I still have my husband's car. I didn't initially like it that much but I don't mind so much now. Totally get you on the sleeping thing. Sleep is still hard but I work on tiring myself out so I can get some sleep. Hugs to you! Take a moment at a time and process one issue at a time.

Hugs for you!

I think you are still in the cautious phase needing to take every new step cautiously. You are processing this new territory but you have to allow yourself to take risks. Would it have been that bad to let him sleep over? Just thinking aloud.

Finding a good counselor for your daughter is huge. I hope they can get started soon and help her work out what she's feeling and dealing with. What is it with most inlaws? I am glad he doesn't get to you but it is terrible how it affects your daughter! So sorry that man is menace! Hugs for you today!

Wow what a heavy burden that has been for you for so long! Hugs!

Gosh I hate patterns! Mine are all on Saturday's somehow. Strength and fortitude to you as you get through these days.

It's the same story at my house. Very little is changed except he is not here. His clothes are in the closet and dresser. His work bag and shoes are in the mushroom. His laptop is at his desk. His toiletries are still in the bathroom. There are no rules for us - we don't have to just dump everything at any given time unless we are ready or otherwise are forced to because of personal circumstance. Like WoT, I get through the day and I wonder why I am still functioning though I tend to credit the kids for that. Their existence compels me to function or at least appear to. Hugs to you! We need the endorphins!

Hugs to you. I know how difficult and thoughtless inlaws can be. Sucks to find this out. If you have access to your husband's FB account and email, set yourself as his person - you can then either delete his account or memorialize it.

I have a dirty handprint on the inside of my garage that my husband left when tinkering with the garage door once. I see it every time I'm in the garage. It reminds me that he was there once. As for sleeping, I used to have issues looking for his body to touch so I sleep on his side of the bed instead of mine and that helped. I also make myself eye tired by reading or crocheting before bed and that helped falling asleep. Try a few things and maybe something will work. Hugs!

Wishing you a happy and wonderful joyous day! Hugs!

I too think he took advantage of you. You are already emotionally vulnerable after grief and we yearn for that loving wanted feeling at least I know I do. You did a good thing for yourself by confronting him. A relationship with no clear honesty is not a good base. Hugs for the day.

Take that moment in the car or late at night is okay but remember for your kids' well being, it's okay for them to see it and for you to discuss it with them. I don't particularly like crying generally because it messes with allergies and such - it's a miserable feeling. Your kids need to grieve too and understand every bit as you do how their works just won't ever be the same. We spent the first year doing what we needed to do - tradition was hard because their dad was a strong part of them so we broke every one and did things as we needed to do we can see for ourselves we'd be okay and we could do things our own way - learn a new sense of normal as twisted as it seems. On expectations that was mentioned - take joy on the tiny things: you got up today, you managed a shower, though you aren't big on cooking you made something - those are good things, they are tiny victories. When my husband died of a sudden heart attack, I just wanted to sit there and never leave the house. I needed to go back to work and change to full time so I could afford to carry the health insurance for the kids. Going back sucked - there were just days I couldn't stop crying but I powered through it. Many people rallied but in the end, I am a crazy independent person who needs to grieve and do everything my own way. I'm at the point where I have to remind people, thanks but we are fine. I'll be sure to let you know when I need help:

This sounds juvenile to me. You were honest and up front. As a friend, one would think she'd have some recollection of your situation. True friends would understand and give you the space and the time should not make much difference. It seems to me she may be more needy for your friendship than she let on.

Algos- I am sorry you have to join us here. It is hard being a single parent and to teens but one has to look for the bright side of our situation to help cope and try to progress. When we go to family grief counseling and we see a family with children much smaller, my girls feel for them because those kids won't be able to have even half the memories they have of their their father. It makes them grateful and they cherish them all the more. I hear you on just functioning for the kids. I am guiltily the same. I met my husband when we were 13. We were friends all through school and dated when we were 18 and been together since. I feel loss without my soulmate and it can be crushing. Those night silences are tough and there are triggers at every random moment. Be kind to yourself and be patient. Let yourself grieve rather than bottle it up. Vent here if you are not ready for counseling. Many of us are up at random times and check in often and I found reading here gave me a sense of understanding what I was feeling and some peace as to what may lie ahead. Hugs for you today.