Julester3

Oh my gosh some people just can't be civil or simply humane. So sorry you have this to deal with right before your wedding! Hugs and positive vibes that it goes well with no crazy ex antics.

Everything will be okay. You are going to put your stamp into this home and make it yours. Moving generally is overwhelming and all homes have hidden issues. It comes with the territory. You Google things, you research, and you'll find your own way. Hugs!

Hugs!!

He sounded like a wonderful person. Thank you for sharing. I wished I could have known him better and I feel for his little girl.

Still widowed - you don't suck, you are simply just smart to know which choice was the most appealing and I'd have agreed with your choice! It's far too much effort and energy to go out nowadays.

Sounds like a reflective time for you indeed! Hugs and thanks for sharing. I'll be thinking of you as the time gets closer to your wedding!

I feel you did your best offering her advice, options, and suggestions. In the end, it's her decision and it's good to let her know you support her any which way. I've told my girls there is no exact proper or improper way, wrong or right, forget Miss Manners! It is all just what they feel they need when the time comes. This came up even though my girls are just teens. You are a good mother - enjoy the moment!

I totally get it. Both my kids have IEP's and when there are issues, man, the feeling is crushing without that ability to talk it through with your partner. Well you could theoretically still but we literally get no feedback or conversation that isn't imaginary and that sucks. I often tell myself what would be worse is someone else taking my right to parent and that fires me up a bit. Hugs for you. It's not easy.

I am sorry you are here with us! I totally agree - don't overwhelm yourself, don't make decisions long term until you are truly ready to. And, it's not a crime to draw energy from your kids to keep going. I do what I do for them and their future. I do better focusing on them and their well being over my own. You will find what will work for you and it will be okay. There are no rules, wrong way or right, only what will work for you. Hugs for you today.

I am still in our house and it seems too big without my husband in it. I get paranoid about our safety because we're all women here. I feel it makes us targets. It helps that my husband's crazy dog is very territorial so if puts people and other animals off from approaching the house. I do have great neighbors who look out for us. I think it's a natural fear. I'm forever making sure every door is locked when we are home and especially if it's getting dark. I am freaked about leaving the windows open and I'm not in that room. I never leave the windows open when I leave the house for fear of break ins. But as I do my security rounds before I go to bed, it does make me feel better.

I also wonder since you can read the board without logging in that many people choose to just read and not participate? The summary at the bottom of the board always has over 30 guests. Not all of them can be search engine robots.

Hugs Mike. I totally understand to just be watching something or listening and blam!!! It just happens and it lays you low. A book on grieving that I've read calls that ambush grief - comes out of no where and unsuspectingly.

I am feeling the pre-date anxiety already leading up to my anniversary this Saturday. A song on the radio on the way to work did me in - ugly sobbing ensued. Just another week in the life of a widow...that's what it feels like today. I had to adult this morning at my daughter's IEP review and will have to gather strength to get through parent night tonight. I know I'm succeeding adequately but it doesn't quite feel that way to me sometimes. Hugs for combined strength all around!

We used to do that as well. My daughter has said she used to like seeing us hold hands like this on our road trips on whenever we were in the car. She holds my hand sometimes when we are out and driving too.

I'm pretty introverted but I made friends using hobbies and it's helped me reclaim my own individual identity. If you don't have any particular hobbies, consider taking a class to ease you into an interest: a craft class at JoAnn's, a home improvement class at Home Depot, a book club at the library. I scrapbook, see/crochet, and collect dolls so I have been able to tap my interests for new friends.

SE? Like near Kenosha area or closer to Milwaukee? I might be able to swing that. It's quiet here near Chicago. They have a Facebook group but nothing since April.

Wow! That's a heat wave @RyanAmysMom you have for September! It felt like fall was coming here in the mid-70's though it's rainy now.

Went to the farmers market, Starbucks and lunch with the kids. Took the kids to visit MIL and it's still a broken record folks, same whining, different day. Came home to take care of the dog and cats. Currently procrastinating! Tomorrow we are going to the Renaissance Faire for my daughter's birthday.

Hugs and fortitude for you today! September is hard for me too. My wedding anniversary is next Saturday. This weekend is my daughter's birthday. We are trudging on as much as we wished we didn't have to. I miss my husband fiercely too.

You do what works, you know what I mean? Hugs for getting through the day.

The girls and I visited my husband's grave the morning of his sadiversary and then went to his favorite brunch place. We then just spent the day having quality time together and just talking. The day is hard enough. Hugs to you.

It sounds like it was reassuring and a positive experience. 😊

Hugs! It sucks to pull out those documents!

Congrats on the new home. Things sound very positive but I understand that progress as positive as it is has its yang, the shadow of sadness that underlies it because of what we have experienced. I agree it's our new normal and how we adapt. We are forever changed. Hugs and here's to an easy move in!

Just offering a fist bump - right on and right there with you. Keeping busy, tired constantly and lonely as hell!